What have we learned - Week 8
The Eagles played a decent, if somewhat boring, game. They actually scored two touchdowns, which is amazing, and although Brian Westbrook didn't run wild, he did get 21 carries and helped wear down a decent Minnesota defense. McNabb looked fully healthy for the first time this year, so maybe the Eagles, at 3-4, can get back into this thing. They'll have plenty of opportunities - they play Dallas at home and Washington on the road the next two weeks. Adrian Peterson, the greatest rookie since Eric Dickerson according to the experts, gained 70 yards on 20 carries and didn't do much after a decent start. Let's save those Dickerson comparisons, okay?
Turnovers: Eagles 0, Vikings 0. Final score: Philadelphia 23, Minnesota 16. Turnovers = loss? For the second week in a row, neither the Eagles nor their opponents turn the ball over. That's kind of odd.
I guess Brian Griese, with his 4 interceptions, isn't the answer for Da Bears. But he's done so well elsewhere! Detroit seems like the real deal, but I can't get that 56-21 loss to Philly out of my mind. We'll see how their defense holds up down the stretch.
Turnovers: Bears 4, Lions 1. Final score: Detroit 16, Chicago 7. Turnovers = loss? I'd sure say so. 1-0.
Boy, the Bengals got bad in a hurry, didn't they? A couple of years ago they would have beaten the eventual Super Bowl champs in the playoffs if not for a freak injury to their quarterback. Now, they're in the tank, as this game against that same Steeler team shows. It's kind of amazing. I didn't pay much attention to this game, so I don't have much to say.
Turnovers: Bengals 1, Steelers 1. Final score: Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 13. Turnovers = loss? It's a wash.
With a few minutes left in the Oakland-Tennessee game, Daunte Culpepper threw a pass very deep into double coverage that was nowhere near the receiver. It was intercepted. The Raiders managed to get another chance, and a Culpepper pass hit a receiver in the worst possible place - the hands. He dropped it. The second wasn't Culpepper's fault, but the first one was awful. Isn't it time for JaMarcus Russell? I don't really care one way or the other, but the team sucks, so throw the rook in there!
Turnovers: Raiders 2, Titans 0. Final score: Tennessee 13, Oakland 9. Turnovers = loss? It certainly seems that way. 2-0.
St. Louis someone got a 14-0 lead, at home, and gave it away. Derek Anderson continues to lead the Browns to impressive wins, even though beating an 0-7 team isn't that impressive, but the Rams did hold a two-touchdown lead at home, and Marc Bulger was playing well. Then Steven Jackson "injured" his back, the Rams fell apart, and Anderson shredded them. Yes, I used quotations around "injury." He was standing around not looking all that hurt, while his quarterback got beaten up behind that crappy offensive line. Suck it the hell up, Jackson!
Turnovers: Rams 1, Browns 0. Final score: Cleveland 27, St. Louis 20. Turnovers = loss? The interception stopped the final drive when St. Louis was driving, so sure. 3-0.
I simply couldn't watch the London game, because the Dolphins are so horrific and I hate the Giants. Plus, there was that Miami player last week who said he didn't know where London was, but he knew who London Fletcher is, then said he's obviously not from England because he's black. If you hadn't heard about that, I so wish I was kidding, but I'm not. The best thing about the game, of course, was the giant freakin' Jason Taylor robot that attacked London. Awesome.
Turnovers: Dolphins 2, Giants 1. Final score: Jersey (in honor of the English) 13, Miami 10. Turnovers = loss? You bet. 4-0.
At one point, Peyton Manning was 5 for 14 for 88 yards. Then he realized he was Peyton Manning and torched the Panthers. In contrast to the Cheaters (see below), the Colts called off the dogs in the fourth quarter, or it would have been worse. And how sad is it that when 85-year-old Vinny Testeverde got hurt the Panthers lost their offense? I'm depressed that I have to root for the Colts next week in the Greatest Regular Season Game EVER. Can't they both lose?
Turnovers: Panthers 3, Colts 1. Final score: Indianapolis 31, Carolina 7. Turnovers = loss? Yes. 5-0.
Kellen Clemens is apparently going to start next week. Good thing, too, because Chad Pennington was in danger of leading the first offense in history to score negative points. Next week against Washington the Jets probably would have scored something like -10 points. I would have loved to see that!
Turnovers: Jets 3, Bills 1. Final score: Buffalo 13, New Jersey 3. Turnovers = loss? Why not? 6-0.
The first four touchdowns the Chargers scored were by players named Antonio. That's the kind of thing I love. I hope you all saw the snap over the head of the punter that went into the end zone that was recovered by San Diego for a touchdown. Everyone is bashing the punter, Matt Turk, who deserves a bit of the blame, certainly, but in the NFL, you NEVER see a snap go over the punter's head. The long snappers are just too good. I wonder if that guy has been cut yet. Speaking of the Chargers, the Chris Chambers trade from Miami might make them the best chance to beat either Indianapolis and New England. That would be cool, because I have nothing against the Chargers.
Turnovers: Texans 5, Chargers 0. Final score: San Diego 35, Houston 10. Turnovers = loss? Pretty directly. 7-0.
Jeff Garcia came down to earth a bit with three interceptions, proving once again that turnovers kill, as the Buccaneers should have dominated that game. Quinn Gray didn't play all that well, but he didn't turn the ball over, and Matt Jones made a great catch for the winning touchdown. Garcia threw an interception with less than a minute left to seal the game, and the guy who intercepted it was tackled by his own teammate so he wouldn't fumble it back. That's excellent.
Turnovers: Buccaneers 3, Jaguars 0. Final score: Jacksonville 24, Tampa 23. Turnovers = loss? Again, pretty directly, as Tampa outgained Jax by over 150 yards, plus the Jags got a defensive touchdown. 8-0.
I'm so angry about New England's beatdown I can barely talk about it. Up 38-0, Tom Brady was still throwing touchdown passes, and with his team inside the Washington five, he got visibly pissed off that his team committed a false start penalty. Chill out, Tom - you're winning 38-0! I know he'd say that it's all about execution no matter what the score, but the Cheaters focus when it counts, and even a great team lose some interest when they're winning by that much. I know teams don't like to play dirty, but now that Belicheat has proven that he has no interest in sportsmanship, why don't teams playing New England simply rush 11 players and put Tom Brady in the hospital? I hate calling for something like that, but I'd love to hear Belicheat's post-game press conference after he loses his quarterback for the season and he gets all angry because his Golden Boy got his back broken. When the other team tries to embarrass you, you should try to kill their players. I'm so not kidding about this. I doubt if anyone will do it, because Belicheat is probably the only dick who would, but it would be nice. I can't decide if I want the Cheaters to lose this weekend, or if I want them to run the table and lose in their first playoff game 56-0. Bullies always get their comeuppance, and I hope it happens to the Cheaters this season.
Turnovers: Washington 4, Cheaters 1. Final score: New England 52, Washington 7. Turnovers = loss? Unfortunately. 9-0.
Does San Francisco even have an offense? No, no they don't. Remember when everyone thought the 49ers would be a sleeper team? Yeah, they're sleeping all right.
Turnovers: Saints 1, 49ers 1. Final score: New Orleans 31, San Francisco 10. Turnovers = loss? Not an issue.
If you want to know why I hate Brett "R. C." Favre, it's not really all about him, although he does annoy me. No, it's stuff like this:
If you don't want to vomit, I wouldn't watch this. I found it at With Leather. As for the game, I didn't watch it except for the game-winning touchdown, which made Mike Tirico do something nasty in his pants, I think. Look, it's a nice moment, but the receiver was covered pretty closely, and it was one of those Favre passes that could have easily been intercepted. But, because God inexplicably loves R. C., it was caught. Damn.
Turnovers: Broncos 1, Packers 0. Final score: Green Bay 19, Denver 13. Turnovers = loss? I suppose! 10-0.
By the way, teams that turn the ball over less than their opponents are now 80-11. Don't turn the ball over!
I didn't have much hope that Penn State was going to beat Ohio State, but I was disappointed by their defensive effort. I'm now hoping for the Capital One Bowl, which is probably the best they can hope for. Oh well. Arizona State was behind 20-7 when they decided to beat down Cal, winning 31-20. ASU is shockingly tough, and they eventually wear other teams out by constantly pounding on them. I don't think they can fall behind to Oregon this Saturday, but I do think they can win, because despite the Ducks' spread offense, the Sun Devils are pretty fast on defense. It should be a great game. We'll see. Colin Cowherd, who's an idiot a lot of the time, was ranting about Fox Sports' awful football coverage, which is a valid point. But the Pac-10 negotiated the deal, so they're to blame as well. Nobody on the East Coast can see these games, so it was nice to hear that ESPN will televise this game to the rest of the country on Saturday, while here in AZ we'll watch on Fox. If you haven't seen the Ducks and Sun Devils yet, you should watch this game. It should be a hoot. People are still dissing Kansas, but the Jayhawks keep winning. Go, Kansas! And did everyone catch the Georgia celebration after their first touchdown? The entire team rushed the field and got a coach-sanctioned unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. How cool. And, of course, there was the Trinity 15-lateral play to score the winning touchdown with no time left. That was way cool:
Hey! The NBA begins tonight! God, I hope the Suns beat the Spurs this year. Did everyone catch that David Stern bent the rules for his gambling referees but last year in the playoffs, his hands were tied, according to him? What a dildo.
Big weekend next week in college and the NFL. Be sure to stay glued to your televisions!