Stripping: the world's oldest art form?

I'm back from SoCal in time to catch this story, which puzzles me a bit. A case is in front of a judge of Hamburg County, Iowa. This case involves a 17-year-old girl, who happens to be the niece of the local sheriff, and Iowa's law against all-nude stripping. This girl, who snuck into the club, decided to climb up on stage one night a year ago and take off all her clothes. I know - it used to happen all the time in my high-school cafeteria, so why not at a club? The owner, desperate to avoid an indecent exposure charge (plus, probably feeling a bit skeevy that an underaged girl stripped in his club), claimed that Iowa's law doesn't apply because his club is a "theater, concert hall, art center, museum, or similar establishment" devoted to the arts or theatrical performances. In Iowa, you see, one can strip, as long as it's "classy." The club owner's lawyer noted that the club sells collectible posters and other art, so it falls under this umbrella. Of course, the district attorney thinks that's crap. The owner's lawyer cites a 1998 case in which the owner of a theater was found not guilty for allowing nude dancing. Will the nude dancing case make it to the Iowa Supreme Court? Only time will tell!

Here's what I don't get. I'm all for nude dancing, despite never having actually been to strip club (to my eternal shame!!!!). If women (or men, for that matter) want to take their clothes off, go for it. I don't understand why this isn't a cut-and-dried case of some kind of "corruption of minors" thing? I mean, this girl is obviously already corrupted, but why does the club owner have any leg to stand on in that regard? Is it okay if the underaged girl is the one doing the corrupting? Can the district attorney not prosecute him if the girl did it willingly? Beats me.

It's always good to see our country's obsession/neurosis about nudity and sex rear its head. I wonder how the case will play out. I'm sure those salt-of-the-earth fine Americans in the heartland really want nude dancing, man! Power to the people!

My kind of gentleman's club!

You may have heard that they're playing a football game not too far from my house this weekend (okay, it's probably 30 miles from my house, but it's closer than it's ever been to where I live). I haven't had much to say about the game, because I expect the cheating team that's not from Boston to beat the snotty team that's not from New York rather easily (I'm talking at least three touchdowns, maybe more if the cheating team's coach is feeling chippy), but it has been interesting to observe the media blitz from relatively close, as everyone has descended on Scottsdale (where the game is not being played) and Phoenix (where the game is not being played) to hang out and do their shows (if you've seen any ESPN this week, you've seen swanky Scottsdale). Of course, it's been pretty chilly here this week, but I still want all the media types to shut up about how cold they are in 55-degree sunny weather. Yes, it's in the 40s in the morning. Yes, it was overcast early in the week. It's still better than Connecticut in late January. And yes, I can't believe I'm defending the land that I loathe. See what these media types do to me?

Anyway, the newspaper has been full of advertisements for all sorts of Super Bowl™-related items. I'm not sure how it is in the rest of the country, but here in the heartland, strip clubs advertise almost exclusively in the sports section. We all know that if you like sports, you must love strip clubs, and if you like sports, there's no way you're a woman, so of course that's where they advertise! Earlier this week I was perusing the sports section, as is my wont, and I spotted this ad:

Yes, it's a strip club trying to align itself with the Big Game, more specifically the New Jersey Giants. However, that's not what caught my eye. Check out what kind of women they have for your viewing pleasure:

"Plus 3 fat ones." Bwah-ha-ha-ha! Okay, ignoring the fact that it's horribly sexist and demeaning, implying that heavier women can't possibly be beautiful, you still have to love a few things: one, that they're honest; and two, that they recognize that some people don't ascribe to the "standard" definition of beauty. In their own offensive way, this strip club is making progress!

I may have mentioned that I've never been to a strip club in my life. I've never had much of an opportunity or even the interest. However, if that's your thing, you can't go wrong with a place that advertises this way!

As for the game ... I don't want either team to win. The thought of Eli Manning winning a Super Bowl™ before Donovan McNabb and the Eagles makes me gag with hatred, and I don't want to see the Cheaters go unbeaten. However, I never had too big a problem with the Cheaters before, you know, they cheated, so I guess I want them to win. I just can't root for an NFC East team that's not Philadelphia. I cannot!

Flotsam and jetsam

It's not a proper link post, but I have noticed some fun stuff around yonder internets recently. Come along and check it out, won't you?

Let's start off with the completely unbearable. Did you know that the House of Representatives passed a resolution commending Brett "Risen Christ" Favre? No? Well, they did. It's very nice to know that Congress has solved all the other problems in the world and can get around to commending someone because he threw more touchdown passes than anyone in NFL history. Oh, there's some crap about his charitable work, but come on - this is for throwing touchdown passes. We pay the salaries of these people, you know. You can read the text of the resolution at the link above, or at With Leather, where I first saw the story.

Speaking of idiotic things Congress is doing, I'm sure you've all heard of House Resolution 106. This is the one that calls the Armenian genocide a "genocide," and it has Turkey up in arms, because they're the ones who carried out the genocide in the first place. Why, you say, would Congress bring this up now, when the Armenian genocide happened between 1915 and 1923 ... in Armenia! Well, this is simply to embarrass George Bush. That's all it is. Listen, Bush is probably in the top ten of worst presidents we've ever had, but this is ridiculous. Congress has no business calling something a genocide, because that's not their job. If they didn't have anything to do with this resolution, it would still be genocide, no matter how much the Turks claimed otherwise. Turkey is our ally in the Middle East and is trying to join the European Union. They are a secular democracy that elected an Islamist party a few years ago ... and the party didn't immediately turn the country into a fundamentalist Islamist state. The genocide occurred, sure, but what's the point of it now, except to placate an Armenian-American lobby that wants nothing to do with Turkey. When Congress passes a resolution calling the destruction of the American Indians a "genocide," then they can cast stones. Shut up, politicians. Make policy. That's your freakin' job.

Still in the political realm, Thomas points out a pretty sad and disgusting story: right-wing radio and Internet people leading a charge against a child. What evil did this child commit? He is eligible for the SCHIP program, and several right-wingers, including Rush Limbaugh, think he's a rich kid trying to bilk the system. What assholes. This just makes me sick, especially because of Mia's situation. E. J. Dionne links to this post by Mark Steyn at The National Review. You can argue with Steyn's conclusions if you want, but what was most reprehensible was his statement that if the Democrats were desperate enough to send a boy to do a man's job (react to Bush's radio address, which is where this started), then the boy is "fair game." What an asshole. Excuse me. What a FUCKING asshole.

(In related news, Thomas used to come around here and say hello. Come back, Thomas. We miss you.)

Now that I'm all angry, I need some frivolity. Or at least something that doesn't piss me off so much. With Leather linked to a story from Down Under. Apparently, kids as young as 7 can now take ... pole dancing classes. It's all about the exercise, people! Of course, the kids love it - the story quotes an 11-year-old. Sure they do! I wouldn't have a problem with this if two things about it existed: boys were in the class as much as girls (I doubt it, especially in as "macho" a society as Australia), and the idea of pole dancing didn't have such connotations. No, that's not the girls' fault, but still. Doesn't this seem like stripper training?

Here's something that sounds cool, but makes me a bit uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to show women in bikinis! At Big Ten Tailgate, there's a link to a news story about a calendar of women. Sounds normal, right? Well, yes, but these women are school teachers. Holy cow! They're grade school teachers, too, so the boys they teach are a bit young. I just wonder how the kids will react. Of course, I'll make the obvious joke and say none of my teachers ever looked like this. What a weird world we live in! You can, of course, learn more about the calendar here.

Finally, why not sign an on-line petition? If you follow that link, you can read the petition that David Fleming of ESPN is planning to send to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. He's trying to get Goodell to re-instate the Pottsville Maroons' 1925 NFL Championship, which was denied them rather controversially. He's written a book about the team that I'm dying to get. You can read about his experiences promoting the book in Pottsville here (although he does call Pottsville "vibrant," which it ain't - sorry, Pottsvillians!). You can read more about the Maroons at the Wikipedia entry. I was #818 to sign the petition a few days ago, and now it has over 5000 signatures. Do the right thing - get the Maroons recognized as NFL Champions!

See? You can do good things in a world gone to shit. It's a tiny thing, but at least you're not contributing to evil, like Rush Limbaugh. No one wants to be like Limbaugh!