"Him you brainwashed? What's he got that I don't have?"
We were visited last weekend by the Jehovah's Witnesses. When I answered the door, the two women told me who they were, but they also said they were actually looking for Spanish-speaking households. They gave me their little pamphlet, then left. I felt like George Costanza, who provides the quote that is the title of this post, when the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners "induct" Mr. Wilhelm into their cult but not him. To quote George again, "What kind of a snobby, stuck-up cult is this?"
We had fun with the pamphlet. Krys immediately thought, "That little girl is going to get eaten by that bear!" Krys is, of course, horribly cynical. I explained that in the New World, the bear and girl would frolic in harmony. She still thinks the girl is going to be an appetizer.
I just thought I'd pass this along: if you want to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses when they come to your door, just say you don't know Spanish. Apparently they have enough boring English speakers!
We had fun with the pamphlet. Krys immediately thought, "That little girl is going to get eaten by that bear!" Krys is, of course, horribly cynical. I explained that in the New World, the bear and girl would frolic in harmony. She still thinks the girl is going to be an appetizer.
I just thought I'd pass this along: if you want to get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses when they come to your door, just say you don't know Spanish. Apparently they have enough boring English speakers!
Labels: Brainwashing, George Costanza, Jehovah's Witnesses, My excellent wife, My life, Religion
posted by Greg | 1:25 PM
4 Comments:
The JW's are very organized. There are congregations for specific language groups. A spanish congregation for example, would seek out spanish speaking people. If they find english ones, they'll move on. Those attending an english congregation, would talk with you further.
See we find folks everywhere - even on the Blogs! You didn't think we were that saavy and "with it" did ya?!
We strive to be organized and not randomly pop up at you or others doors - but thanks for showing our goods here!
At the tender age of 14 I tried claiming to belong to a coven of witches, thinking that this would keep them away from again waking me from sleep.
The second time I just shut the door in their faces and walked back down to my basement room to sleep.
They finally did stop coming after the third visit. My mother's Irish Setter was bristling and growling behind me and I said, "Down, Satan!"
After I became an adult and moved out on my own, I once invited a pair into my home with the caveat that I got the same amount of time to explain my own beliefs to them. Well, they didn't want to come in, and I didn't want to stand at the front door in my boxers... so I told them to piss off.
Anywho... calling a pet "Satan" seems to work best. Don't have to name the pet that... just use it.
UncleMonster
No problem, NY JW - I'm always ready to help!
You do those things because you're so angry, John. The only thing I don't like about religious types coming to the door is when they won't go away if I ask them to. Occasionally I'll talk to them, but usually it's around dinner time or kids' bed time, so we're busy. If they're polite, like these ladies were, I have no problem with them.
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