Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

I don't know if anyone has watched the new game show, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?, which followed American Idol on Tuesday and Wednesday. If I had known how to get on this show, I would have stampeded people to do so, because I'd now be a million dollars richer. Man, the questions are easy. I missed some of the ones on Tuesday, but here are the ones I heard from that night plus all the ones from Wednesday. These are taken, according to host Jeff Foxworthy, directly from grade-school textbooks. Wednesday's contestant bailed on the last one, which means she got to keep $100,000. Sad. So very sad.

1. In which month does Columbus Day fall?
2. Who was the first president impeached?
3. What was the name of the ship in which the Pilgrims sailed in 1620?
4. During sleep, you enter the REM cycle. What does REM stand for? (The contestants compete with actual fifth graders who can help them. The kid who got this correct spelled the last word wrong, however.)
5. When you mix equal amounts of red and yellow paint, what color do you get?
6. What star is closest to the Earth?
7. What country has the longest border with the United States?
8. How many sides are there on a trapezoid?
9. True or false: Fiction books are NOT assigned numbers in the Dewey Decimal System?
10. How many decades are in two millennia?

Sigh. If you get ANY of these wrong, I think you need to apologize in the comments. Why can't I go on these stupid game shows? WHY?????

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Anonymous Ruth said...

I'm sorry! I know nothing about American holidays, geography or presidents.

2/3/07 2:13 AM  
Anonymous beta ray steve said... and yellow, red and yellow...Let me go ask my 4 year old daughter for some help on this one.

2/3/07 8:34 AM  
Anonymous Jeff said...

I'm right there with you. I told my wife that I knew the answer to everyone of those questions so far. And just as I was pretty pleased with myself, I realized what this show was all about.

2/3/07 9:28 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

Ruth - it sounds as if you're not American, so we can forgive you. The contestants, presumably, are Americans, which makes this even worse.

2/3/07 9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

C'mon now, you really think this is criteria for "quantifying" intelligence?

Jeff understood what's the deal with the show with surgeon's precision.

It's not whether these are easy questions (or tough; I assume from what you said they're easy, I'm not american so some of these I had no idea...), but that they're quite irrelevant, no?

The show's name should apply itself in terms of "do you still think (a bit of) the world will end for you if you don't know trigonometry/ fail these questions? Well then, are you then smarter than a mentally abused fifth grader?"

2/3/07 10:35 AM  
Blogger Roger Green said...

A couple different folks told me about this, having seen the show, and one actually misremembered the number of sides on a trapezoid - the person said three. This person also told me that they asked the AREA of a trapezoid, which I COULD figure out, but wouldn't really want to. So, I'm 10 for 10, though it's been a long timer since I've used the Dewey Decimal system, and I'm a librarian.

2/3/07 6:04 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

#10 stumped me for a minute or two, as I have always been tragically slow at fundamental mathematics. I have to literally put pencil to paper to ensure a correct answer.

On a side note - have you ever watched Jaywalkers on Jay Leno? Those folks wouldn't pass 2nd grade! Yikes!

4/3/07 9:02 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

Unfortunately, Ashley, I have seen those people. I wept.

4/3/07 5:31 PM  

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