Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


Worst. Lyrics. Ever.

The category: Pop Music. The question: What is the lamest line of lyrics ever?

My answers:

"I feel a hunger, it's a hunger" by Eddie Money in "Take Me Home Tonight" and "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time" by Van Halen in "Why Can't This Be Love?"

I think Sammy takes the crown because there's a bit of disagreement about what Eddie Money is actually saying. He mumbles a lot, don't you know.

What's your worst line of music ever? All five of my loyal readers, chime in!

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Blogger Sleestak said...

Apparently, you have never heard "Pop a top".

17/2/07 9:35 AM  
Blogger David Campbell said...

My vote is for Paul McCartney:

"But if this ever changin' world
in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry...

That's just nonsense. "In which we live in"?

17/2/07 11:19 AM  
Blogger Gordon said...

I am opting for Lionel Richie's magnum opus, "Say You, Say Me"....

Not just for the title, but the first non-chorus line is "I had a dream, I had an awesome dream."

17/2/07 12:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Foss said...

It's hard to top the majesty of Deep Blue Something. Not only is "She said I think I remember the film / And as I recall, I think, we both kind of liked it" the most caveat-filled, impotent line in music history, but it's also the lamest excuse for continuing a relationship ever devised.

But at least Sammy Hagar and Paul McCartney have competent musicianship to back up their lame lyrics. Take a listen to Color Me Badd or Ludacris or any Top 40 radio if you want real lame. Learn how to give "swimming lessons on the penis" and have sex "doggy and froggy style."

17/2/07 12:58 PM  
Anonymous beta ray steve said...

Paul McCartney: "The movement you need is on your shoulder" also, "You have found her, now go and get her".
WTF, Paul?
That line from "Breakfast at Tiffanys" is rambling, but at least it makes grammatical/logical sense.

17/2/07 5:41 PM  
Blogger JM said...

I've got plenty of contenders, if you count the various mondegreens I've misheard through the years. It took me years until I figured out that Janice Joplin WASN'T singing "take another little piece of my hard-on, baby!" No wonder I'm so confused.

17/2/07 9:29 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

I remember being bothered by that "Live and Let Die" lyric until I listened to it again. I suspect he's actually saying "in which we're living" instead of "in which we live in."

Check it out and hear for yourself. With his accent it's entirely possible. And it certainly wouldn't be as ridiculous.

18/2/07 11:40 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

That McCartney lyric always bugged me, too. It's possible Robin is right - I'll have to watch the damned movie again!

You're right, Tom, about Top 40 radio. Most of the lyrics I hear from those kinds of songs (I don't listen to the radio, so I don't hear them often) are more inane than outright stupid. But I think we can all agree there are a lot of stupid lyrics out there!

18/2/07 2:51 PM  
Blogger Krys said...

How about Most Politically Incorrect Lyric: Rod Stewart "Every Picture Tells A Story"--"I fell in love with a slit-eyed lady underneath an Eastern moon"--whoa, Rod. Chinese embassy calling on line one!

19/2/07 12:54 PM  
Blogger john sweet said...


19/2/07 9:40 PM  
Blogger Tom the Dog said...

America, "A Horse With No Name":

"'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain."

20/2/07 9:01 AM  
Blogger Nik said...

Lord knows I love the David Bowie and I love "Station To Station," but the lyric "it's the return of the thin white duke / throwing darts in lover's eyes" is pretty godawful when you really think about it. It's all in the delivery, I guess..

20/2/07 7:20 PM  
Anonymous Disintegrated Clone said...

After much thought, I've decided that, despite its appalling non-rhyme and pointless sixth-form Satanism, Black Sabbath's

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at Black Masses

only comes second in infamy. (Can you even have a mass of generals, by the way? Isn't the whole point that there aren't many of them?).

No, my vote goes to Adam and the Ants:

The devil take your stereo and your record collection
The way you look you'll qualify for next year's old age pension

It's got bad scansion and a useless rhyme. It's flabby. It's a poor insult. And it even doesn't make sense. Why next year and not this year? And pensions don't get described in temporal terms. They're just pensions.

21/2/07 3:31 AM  
Blogger Krys said...

Oh God, I almost forgot about Billy Squier--"It's lonely in the night...when you're all alone"! I want to say it's from "Emotions in Motion", but I forget. I actually had the album on vinyl as a high schooler!

22/2/07 8:55 PM  

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