Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


The end of days?

When Krys and I left the movie theater on Saturday night, we had to walk far to the car. Saturday at the mall in Phoenix is the shizznit, apparently, so the parking lot is always crowded, especially if you want to park near the theater and the restaurants near it. So we had a long walk. As we were walking, I noticed several smushed grasshoppers on the road. I mentioned it to Krys, and then we both started seeing several live grasshoppers (along with plenty of smushed ones) zipping around. They hounded us all the way to the car (a good eight-minute walk or so). Yes, hounded! Maybe they weren't after us specifically, but it could be that they had gotten a taste of sweet, sweet human flesh and wanted more!

The next morning I had to return a book to the bookstore at the very same mall. I arrived and noticed more grasshoppers as Mia and I crossed the parking lot. It was in a completely different part of the mall. They'd surrounded it! What the hell was happening?

That afternoon (Sunday the 20th), Krys took Mia in the pool, as our older child has decided that napping is for suckers (and this time she really means it!). Guess what kept jumping into the pool? If you said insects of the family Acrididae, go to the front of the class!

Perhaps, we thought, they were simply vexing us. Perhaps we had been famed grasshopper hunters in another life and now they were out for revenge. However, today I mentioned it to Mia's occupational therapist, who said they were everywhere in downtown Phoenix yesterday, and we were nowhere near there! So what, indeed, is happening?

Well, I could look for a scientific explanation, but we all know that science only gives facts, and deals not with "gut instincts," which is how we should live our lives. I choose to believe that this is a fabled Plague of Locusts, which heralds the End Times. Prepare yourself accordingly!!!!!

Who knew my turning 36 signaled the end of the world? I sure didn't!

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Blogger Roxy said...

I did.

22/5/07 4:23 PM  
Blogger Roger Green said...

I thought so, too. My word verification is lsworsoe, which I believe is Burgasian for "lots worse".

24/5/07 2:18 AM  

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