What have we learned - Week 8

Well, after a great sports weekend, Monday kind of sucked for this Philadelphia fan. I can't even begin to think about how embarrassing Bud Selig has made baseball, so let's break down the football! I've been watching less and less football on the weekends because of problems at home (nothing too serious, but I just don't have as much time to sit on my ass for hours at a time), but I think my analysis is still just as good if not better than most of the morons on ESPN and FOX. I definitely know I'm better than the yahoos on NBC, because I don't fellate R. C. Favre as much as Peter King does.

For me, the honkin' huge game of the college football season was Penn State at Ohio State. Krys and my mom (who wasn't with me, obviously, but I spoke to my dad about it) kept getting bent out of shape whenever the Lions couldn't do anything, but I figured as long as they didn't make a mistake, they would have eventually found a way to win, because they were more talented than the Buckeyes. And then they got the turnover they needed and won the game. As long as Penn State doesn't make too many mistakes, they can win the game, because they're more talented than any team in the Big Eleven. We'll see what happens if they run the table and have to face a talented team in the Orange Bowl. Will it be Texas? They escaped with a win over Oklahoma State when some defensive dude hit Colt McCoy late on an interception. Will it be Alabama? They beat a lousy Tennessee team by 20, but didn't look too good doing it. Will it be Texas Tech? Suddenly the Red Raiders might leap into the championship talk, as they get the Longhorns at home this coming Saturday after throttling Kansas. They also have a brutal schedule down the stretch? Will it be USC? The Trojans went on the road and beat Arizona, which is a tougher game than you might think, and are still lurking around, plus they, like the Nittany Lions, don't play a conference championship game. Tom is my bud, so I should give some props to Cal, who is back in the Top 25 and looking pretty decent, even though UCLA stinks. Back east, Auburn of the greatest conference ever, the SEC (note sarcasm), went north and got spanked by West Virginia, who is in position to win the awful Big East. And it was nice to see Michigan continue to suck. I still think Penn State will whomp Michigan State, but the Spartans managed to recover from their spanking by OSU and beat up on the Wolverines. And it would be nice to see Utah play and win a second BCS bowl game. Go Utes!!!!

Philadelphia 27, Atlanta 14. The Eagles got a tiny bit lucky, as a punt with over two minutes left landed at the feet of the Falcons' returner and appeared to hit him, thence recovered by the Eagles. Replays show that it didn't actually hit the returner, but the Falcons were out of time outs and it was not under two minutes, so there was no review. I say they only got a little bit lucky because I very much doubt if Philly would allow rookie Matt Ryan, who had just driven down for a touchdown, to do it again, especially with no time outs. He could have, I suppose, but I doubt it. Anyway, Brian Westbrook rushed for 167 yards. Maybe, just maybe, Andy Reid should run the ball to him a bit more. Will I ever stop banging my head against the wall over this? Probably not.
DeSean Jackson update: 3 catches for 72 yards, 3 punt returns for -5 yards, with an absolutely ridiculous 15 yard loss that was a terrible rookie mistake. He'll learn, though. Season totals: 32 catches for 505 yards and 1 touchdown; 6 rushes for 50 yards; 22 punt returns for 248 yards.
Turnovers: Atlanta 3, Philadelphia 1. Turnovers = loss? Yeah, pretty much. 1-0.

Dallas 13, Tampa 9. Man, I watched some of this game, and it was booooorrrrring. Tampa has a lousy offense, and Brad Johnson is not a good quarterback anymore, if he ever was. He was throwing crappy passes, and those he did complete were three-yard outs. You know when the Cowboys are considering using Brooks Bollinger against the Giants in the Meadowlands next week, things are dire. Stupid Buccaneers. I wanted them to win this game.
Turnovers: Buccaneers 1, Cowboys 0. Turnovers = loss? I guess so. And hey - no Dallas turnovers! Johnson did something right! 2-0.

Washington 25, Detroit 17. Wasn't that cute, how Washington let the Lions think they might have a chance for a half? That was nice of them. There was no way Washington was going to lose that game, was there?
Turnovers: Washington 1, Lions 0. Turnovers = loss? It seems like the Lions win the turnover game more than a few times during the season, but it never helps them. 2-1.

Miami 25, Buffalo 16. Hey, it's a Ted Ginn sighting! That's always good to see, since they drafted him and all. How did Buffalo lose this game? I didn't watch the game, but I can't believe they had a 16-7 lead in the third quarter and gagged it away. Even if it was in Miami, you can't blow it like that. Turnovers may have helped, right?
Turnovers: Bills 4, Dolphins 1. Yeah, that's not going to get the job done. These aren't the 2007 Dolphins! 3-1.

New England 23, St, Louis 16. Who knew changing coaches could have this effect? Two straight wins for the Rams, and then a really close loss on the road. I wonder why the players weren't playing well earlier in the season. Matt Cassell, meanwhile, seems to be rounding into shape, which really sucks for those of us who don't like the Cheaters. Why can't they suck?
Turnovers: Cheaters 2, Rams 1. Turnovers = loss? Wow, the Rams got more turnovers? Interesting. 3-2.

New Orleans 37, San Diego 32. This was the London game, which remains an idiotic experiment, especially since they made a West Coast team fly to Buffalo and then to London. If the NFL insists on doing this, it should be the first game of the season so the teams can fly over there with plenty of time to get acclimated and maybe give the teams two bye weeks, one right after the game. The fans get hosed, of course, as New Orleans loses a home game. It's a stupid gimmick, and it would be nice if the NFL put the kibosh on it. Meanwhile, the Chargers aren't very good. They're about to waste LaDanian Tomlinson's career, as he can't have too many good seasons left in him. Oh well.
Turnovers: Chargers 2, Saints 0. Turnovers = loss? Seems like it. 4-2.

New York Jets 28, Kansas City 24. So the New York fans, who aren't sad-sack homers like those in Wisconsin, booed R. C. Favre because he threw three absolutely horrible interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown. That he threw the game-winning touchdown doesn't change the fact that the Jets barely beat the Chiefs at home. They should have pounded them, but they needed an extremely good catch by Laveraneus Coles to secure the victory. I wonder if the Jets fans are feeling that great about their gunslinging new quarterback these days?
Turnovers: Jets 3, Chiefs 0. Turnovers = loss? No, because it's Kansas City. Man, they suck. 4-3.

Carolina 27, Arizona 23. There were some strange things in this game. First, the Cardinals have pretty much abandoned the run, as they rushed 14 times for 50 yards. I get that Kurt Warner throwing to their excellent receivers is their best offense, but as anyone who has watched football in Philadelphia in the Andy Reid Era, you have to run the ball a little bit! Plus, Ken Whisenhunt is a tough-guy coach, and for some reason he's gone a totally different way. Finally, when the other team knows you're not running, they start to defend the pass much better, and that leads to interceptions, like the late one with the Cardinals driving for the go-ahead score. Finally, the game-winning Steve Smith touchdown was incorrectly called. It seems pretty clear, on replay, that Smith was out of bounds, and the replay officials missed it. It doesn't excuse the horrid tackling by the Arizona defense, but I thought I should mention it.
Turnovers: Cardinals 2, Panthers 1. Turnovers = loss? Pretty much. 5-3.

Baltimore 29, Oakland 10. Yeah, you couldn't have paid me to watch this game.
Turnovers: Raiders 1, Ravens 1. Turnovers = loss? It's a wash.

Houston 35, Cincinnati 6. It's time to start the 0-16 watch on the Bengals. Houston got a punt return for a touchdown to start this game, but the next time I turned it on, the Bengals were dominating the yardage and time of possession. They just couldn't get points. Then I turned it off and the next time I knew, it was 35-6. Sheesh, the Bengals are lousy. I'd pity Woody!, but he mocked my pain as an Eagles fan last week, so screw him! I hope Cincy goes 0-16! Oh, that's not nice. I do feel bad for Woody! and other Cincinnati fans. It's no fun when your team sucks.
Turnovers: Bengals 3, Texans 0. Turnovers = loss? That's the way it goes! 6-3.

Cleveland 23, Jacksonville 17. Wasn't Jacksonville supposed to be good? Man, they lost to the Browns at home. That can't be good. I watched a little of this game, and Derek Anderson actually looked pretty decent. I'm not sure what the heck is going on down in Florida, but they looked lousy. Of course, Cleveland got a tiny bit lucky at the end, when it appeared there could have been a pass interference call against them in the end zone. I'm not saying it was a penalty, but I've seen more egregious calls!
Turnovers: Jaguars 1, Browns 0. Turnovers = loss? I'll say yes. 7-3.

New York Giants 21, Pittsburgh 14. I know this was supposed to be the big game of the weekend, but I didn't watch much of it. It looked pretty brutal throughout, though. The Steelers really ought to get an offensive line, because Roethlisberger got hammered quite a bit. Meanwhile, Tom Coughlin benched Plaxico Burress for a minor infraction, but he let him go in the game in the second quarter. That's a wussy move. Bench him for the entire game or play him throughout! Have some stones, Coughlin!
Turnovers: Steelers 4, Giants 0. Turnovers = loss? Yeah, you might not want to turn the ball over that much against the Super Bowl Champions. 8-3.

Seattle 34, San Francisco 13. I know everyone is going nuts over Mike Singletary going ballistic on Vernon Davis, but it seemed a bit showy. I have no problem with him benching him and sending him off to the showers, but going off on him in a press conference seems excessive. Davis is lousy, sure, but it's not like Singletary's rant is going to change the balance of power in football, which is tilted toward the players and their agents. Tom Coughlin is a tough-guy coach, and look how long it took him to get respect. He's old and he had to win a Super Bowl before people thought his way worked. I wish Singletary all the best. I'll be surprised if he's coaching the 49ers next season, though.
Turnovers: 49ers 2, Seahawks 0. Turnovers = loss? I think so. 9-3.

Tennessee 31, Indianapolis 21. So the Titans showed that they're pretty good, and the Colts showed they're not. It's amazing that in October, Tennessee has pretty much wrapped up the division. I know there's a lot of football left, but who's going to catch them? The Colts? With no running back, a horrible defense, and a quarterback with gimpy knees? I don't think so. Meanwhile, Tennessee continues to roll along, but Kerry Collins completed 24 passes for 193 yards. They're going to have to get some production out of your quarterback, right?
Turnovers: Colts 2, Titans 0. Turnovers = loss? Yes, plus the bad play-calling on a fourth-and-one for Indy. I like them going for it, but it was a lousy call. 10-3.

I forgot to update the record of teams that turn the ball over less than their opponents, but it's up to 71-20. Now let's break it down a bit more!

Tennessee: 8 turnovers, +8 margin, 7-0 record.
Philadelphia: 8 turnovers, +7 margin, 4-3 record.
Miami: 5 turnovers, +7 margin, 3-4 record.
Green Bay: 8 turnovers, +6 margin, 4-3 record.
Cleveland: 7 turnovers, +6 margin, 3-4 record.
New York Giants: 4 turnovers, +5 margin, 6-1 record.
Chicago: 11 turnovers, +5 margin, 4-3 record.
St. Louis: 7 turnovers, +4 margin, 2-5 record.
Kansas City: 10 turnovers, +4 margin, 1-6 record.
New England: 9 turnovers, +3 margin, 5-2 record.
Tampa: 12 turnovers, +3 margin, 5-3 record.
Washington: 6 turnovers, +2 margin, 6-2 record.
Oakland: 9 turnovers, +2 margin, 2-5 record.
Carolina: 10 turnovers, +1 margin, 6-2 record.
Pittsburgh: 9 turnovers, +0 margin, 5-2 record.
Atlanta: 8 turnovers, +0 margin, 4-3 record.
Jacksonville: 9 turnovers, +0 margin, 3-4 record.
Indianapolis: 10 turnovers, +0 margin, 3-4 record.
San Diego: 11 turnovers, -1 margin, 3-5 record.
Buffalo: 13 turnovers, -2 margin, 5-2 record.
Arizona: 14 turnovers, -2 margin, 4-3 record.
New Orleans: 13 turnovers, -2 margin, 4-4 record.
Detroit: 9 turnovers, -2 margin, 0-7 record.
Baltimore: 14 turnovers, -4 margin, 4-3 record.
Seattle: 11 turnovers, -4 margin, 2-5 record.
Dallas: 13 turnovers, -5 margin, 5-3 record.
Minnesota: 15 turnovers, -5 margin, 3-4 record.
New York Jets: 16 turnovers, -6 margin, 4-3 record.
Houston: 14 turnovers, -6 margin, 3-4 record.
Cincinnati: 16 turnovers, -6 margin, 0-8 record.
Denver: 16 turnovers, -9 margin, 4-3 record.
San Francisco: 20 turnovers, -10 margin, 2-6 record.

Maybe by this time next week the Phillies will be World Series Champions. Or maybe the rain in Philadelphia will never end! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!

Why is there a media bias for Tampa Bay in this World Series?

I don't think I'm being a homer when I ask that question. I started this post a few days ago, and now that the Phillies are on the verge of winning, it's perhaps a bit whiny to ruminate, but it's still interesting to wonder why the national media seems to favor the Rays. Some pundits picked the Phillies, of course, but mostly they talk about how wonderful St. Petersburg is. If you've listened to the FOX broadcasts, you'll notice how often they bring up the Phillies' failings but, until Game Four and they became more glaring, glossed over the Rays'. In Game Two, for instance, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver couldn't stop talking about how badly the Phillies were hitting with runners in scoring position. In the first inning, when St. Pete scored two runs, they were 0-for-2 with runners in scoring position. They scored two runs on groundouts. Now, runs are runs, but they still didn't get a hit with runners in scoring position. Yet Buck and McCarver kept talking about the great way the Rays played "small ball." Yes, the Phillies aren't hitting well with runners in scoring position (until last night). But neither are the Rays. Finally, when the Phillies finally busted out last night and scored 10 runs, Buck and McCarver started talking about how bad Carlos Peña and Evan Longoria are hitting.

The thing that struck me was before the first game, when ESPN talked about the two teams. John Kruk picked the Phillies to win the Series, but then he talked about two things. He said that the Rays "play the game the right way." I hate to tell Kruk, but any team that wins games plays the game the right way. I guess that means the Rays play "small ball" and bunt well and hit to the right side to get guys from second to third and hit sacrifice flies. That's great. Home runs count just as much as RBI groundouts, you know. Even the Yankees of 1996-2000 played the game the right way. They won, didn't they?

Then Kruk said the Rays were "built" the right way, too. This, presumably, meant that they built through the draft and didn't trade away prospects for short-term guys or spend a lot of money on flashy free agents. Hey, that's great. I agree that building that way is a good thing, and I love that the Yankees betrayed their principles by trading away talent for short-term stars who don't produce. That's pretty awesome. But I wondered why the Phillies aren't "built the right way," too. Why didn't Kruk mention them? I knew a lot of their talent was home-grown as well. So I decided to check it out! I mean, it's not like I have anything to do!

Here's the breakdown of the two teams. This is only the World Series roster (at the beginning of the Series, as Cliff Floyd is now off the Rays' roster and had been replaced by Eric Hinske), mind you. I checked out how each player was acquired, either through the draft, in a trade, or as a free agent. I could only find one played acquired off waivers. I'm pretty sure this is all accurate, but forgive me if it's not.

St. Petersburg Rays:

Willy Aybar (infielder): Acquired in a trade from the Atlanta Braves on 17 January 2008. Seasons with St. Pete: 1 (2008).
Rocco Baldelli (outfielder): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 2000. Season with St. Pete: 5 (2003-2004; 2006-2008).*
Grant Balfour (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Milwaukee Brewers on 27 July 2007. Seasons with St. Pete: 1½ (2007-2008).
Jason Bartlett (infielder): Acquired in a trade from the Minnesota Twins on 28 November 2007. Seasons with St. Pete: 1 (2008).
Chad Bradford (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Baltimore Orioles on 7 August 2008. Seasons with St. Pete: ½ (2008).
Carl Crawford (outfielder): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 1999. Season with St. Pete: 7 (2002-2008).
Cliff Floyd (outfielder): Signed as a free agent on 14 December 2007. Seasons with St. Pete: 1 (2008).
Matt Garza (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Minnesota Twins on 28 November 2007. Season with St. Pete: 1 (2008).
Gabe Gross (outfielder): Acquired in a trade from the Milwaukee Brewers on 22 April 2008. Seasons with St. Pete: 1 (2008).
Michel Hernandez (catcher): Acquired in a trade from the Pittsburgh Pirates on 31 August 2008. Seasons with St. Pete: ½ (2008).
J. P. Howell (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Kansas City Royals on 20 June 2006. Seasons with St. Pete: 2½ (2006-2008).
Akinori Iwamura (infielder): Contract purchased from Japan on 15 December 2006. Seasons with St. Pete: 2 (2007-2008).
Edwin Jackson (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Los Angeles Dodgers on 14 January 2006. Seasons with St. Pete: 3 (2006-2008).
Scott Kazmir (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the New York Mets on 30 July 2004 (never played for the Mets). Seasons with St. Pete: 5 (2004-2008).
Evan Longoria (infielder): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 2006. Seasons with St. Pete: 1 (2008).
Trever Miller (pitcher): Signed as a free agent on 6 February 2008 (the third time he had signed as a free agent with the Rays). Seasons with St. Pete: 2 (2004; 2008).
Dioner Navarro (catcher): Acquired in a trade from the Los Angeles Dodgers on 27 June 2006. 2½ (2006-2008).
Carlos Peña (infielder): Signed as a free agent on 1 February 2007. Seasons with St. Pete: 2 (2007-2008).
Fernando Perez (outfielder): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 2004. Seasons with St. Pete: ½ (2008).
David Price (pitcher): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 2007. Seasons with St. Pete: 5 games (2008).
James Shields (pitcher): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 2000. Seasons with St. Pete: 3 (2006-2008).
Andy Sonnanstine (pitcher): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 2004. Seasons with St. Pete: 2 (2007-2008).
B. J. Upton (outfielder): Drafted by St. Petersburg in 2002. Seasons with St. Pete: About 3 (parts of 2004; 2006; 2007-2008).
Dan Wheeler (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Houston Astros on 28 July 2007. Seasons with St. Pete: 4½ (Parts of 1999-2001 - he was drafted by St. Pete in 1996; 2007-2008).
Ben Zobrist (infielder): Acquired in a trade with the Houston Astros on 12 July 2006 (never played with the Astros). Seasons with St. Pete: 3 (2006-2008).

Draft picks: 9: Baldelli, Crawford, Longoria, Perez, Price, Shields, Sonnanstine, Upton, Wheeler (sort of).
Trades: 13: Aybar, Balfour, Bartlett, Bradford, Garza, Gross, Hernandez, Howell, Iwamura, Jackson, Kazmir, Navarro, Zobrist.
Free agents: 3: Floyd, Miller, Peña.
Average length of tenure with the team: 2.24 years (Crawford at 7 seasons is the longest).
Median length of tenure with the team: 2 years.
Number of players with the team for 3+ years: 8.

* Baldelli suffers from a mitochondrial disease and missed the entire 2005 season.

Philadelphia Phillies:

Joe Blanton (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Oakland Athletics on 17 July 2008. Seasons with Philly: ½ (2008).
Eric Bruntlett (infielder): Acquired in a trade from the Houston Astros on 7 November 2007. Seasons with Philly: 1 (2008).
Pat Burrell (outfielder): Drafted by Philadelphia in 1998. Seasons with Philly: 9 (2000-2008).
Clay Condrey (pitcher): A minor-league free agent, it appears. Seasons with Philly: 3 (2006-2008).
Chris Coste (catcher): Signed as a free agent on 29 October 2004. Seasons with Philly: 3 (2006-2008).
Greg Dobbs (infielder): Obtained off waivers from the Seattle Mariners on 15 January 2007. Seasons with Philly: 2 (2007-2008).
Chad Durbin (pitcher): Signed as a free agent on 30 December 2007. Seasons with Philly: 1 (2008).
Scott Eyre (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Chicago Cubs on 7 August 2008. Seasons with Philly: ½ (2008).
Pedro Feliz (infielder): Signed as a free agent on 31 January 2008. Seasons with Philly: 1 (2008).
Cole Hamels (pitcher): Drafted by Philadelphia in 2002. Seasons with Philly: 3 (2006-2008).
J. A. Happ (pitcher): Drafted by Philadelphia om 2004. Seasons with Philly: 2 (2007-2008).
Ryan Howard (infielder): Drafted by Philadelphia in 2001. Seasons with Philly: 5 (2004-2008).
Geoff Jenkins (outfielder): Signed as a free agent on 27 December 2007. Seasons with Philly: 1 (2008).
Brad Lidge (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Houston Astros on 7 November 2007. Seasons with Philly: 1 (2008).
Ryan Madson (pitcher): Drafted by Philadelphia in 1998. Seasons with Philly: 5 (2004-2008, plus one game in 2003).
Jamie Moyer (pitcher): Acquired in a trade from the Seattle Marines on 20 August 2006. Seasons with Philly: 2½ (2006-1008).
Brett Myers (pitcher): Drafted by Philadelphia in 1999. Seasons with Philly: 7 (2002-2008).
Jimmy Rollins (infielder): Drafted by Philadelphia in 1996. Seasons with Philly: 9 (2000-2008).
J. C. Romero (pitcher): Signed as a free agent (minor league) on 23 June 2007. Seasons with Philly: 1½ (2007-2008).
Carlos Ruiz (catcher): Signed by Philadelphia as an amateur free agent in 1998. Seasons with Philly: 3 (2006-2008).
Matt Stairs (infielder): Acquired in a trade from the Toronto Blue Jays on 30 August 2008. Seasons with Philly: ½ (2008).
So Taguchi (outfielder): Signed as a free agent on 7 January 2008. Seasons with Philly: 1 (2008).
Chase Utley (infielder): Drafted by Philadelphia in 2000. Seasons with Philly: 6 (2003-2008).
Jayson Werth (outfielder): Signed as a free agent on 19 December 2007. Seasons with Philly: 2 (2007-2008).

Draft picks: 8: Burrell, Hamels, Happ, Howard, Madson, Myers, Rollins, Utley.
Trades: 6: Blanton, Bruntlett, Eyre, Lidge, Moyer, Stairs.
Free agents: 9: Condrey, Coste, Durbin, Feliz, Jenkins, Romero, Ruiz, Taguchi, Werth.
Waiver wire: 1. Dobbs.
Average length of tenure with the team: 2.94 years (Burrell and Rollins at 9 seasons are the longest).
Median length of tenure with the team: 2 years.
Number of players with the team 3+ years: 10.

That's pretty even, if you ask me. Both the Phillies and Rays have a lot of draft choices that are prominent on their team. Seven of the eight players the Rays drafted (they drafter Wheeler, but apparently thought little of him and traded him) are stars or crucial components of their team (Price isn't a star yet), with only Perez lacking the time to make an impact. Similarly, seven of the eight Phillies' draft choices are stars or crucial components of the team (Happ is a good pitcher, but hasn't pitched enough to have an impact). The Phillies have more free agents, true, but none of them cost a lot and only Feliz was what you might call a "big-impact" signing. Romero comes the closest of the others. Floyd and Peña are the Rays' two "big-impact" signings, but again, neither cost too much. I didn't look at who was traded away to get the players, but I know, for instance, that Kazmir was brought to St. Pete for Victor Zambrano, who turned out to be the wrong Zambrano in the major leagues, while the Phillies got Lidge (and Bruntlett) for Michael Bourn, who I thought would be decent but was one of the worst hitters in the league this year. Recently, the only bad trade I remember the Phillies making was getting rid of a young Gavin Floyd to the White Sox for Freddy Garcia. Floyd was always touted as being a future All-Star, while Garcia was always scary. The Phillies tried for the short-term gain, failed, and have been pretty good ever since (and I don't think the Garcia trade hurt them all that much, except for the loss of Floyd). Hamels and Floyd and Myers at the front of this rotation would be scary for the league for the next five years. Oh well. And if we look at stability, both teams are fairly even, with the average tenure slightly in Philadelphia's favor (barely), plus the Phillies have slightly more long-term players (10 to 8 of players who have been with the team 3 seasons or longer). My ultimate point is: Yes, the Rays were "built the right way." But no more than the Phillies were. Yet I haven't heard much about that.

Then there's the lack of a title. Last week Michael Wilbon said Phillies fans should shut up because they've gone since 1980 without a World Series title and Cubs fans know real pain. However, Wilbon is also a Bulls fan. Back in the 1990s I bet he didn't care too much about the Cubs not winning because Jordan was bringing home the hardware! So I decided to look at the teams from each major league (I still count the NHL as a major league) and how long it's been for each team since they won a title. I also counted the "total seasons of frustration" for each city. Now, I understand that if you're a Cubs fan, you don't care that the White Sox recently won a World Series. But I can't worry about that! So let's check things out. The "total seasons of frustration" are how many years since the last title multiplied by how many sports team the city has.

Atlanta.
NFL team: Falcons. First season: 1966. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 42.
MLB team: Braves. First season in Atlanta: 1966. Last title: 1995. Seasons of frustration: 12.
NBA team: Hawks. First season in Atlanta: 1968. Last title: Never (they won in 1958 when in St. Louis). Seasons of frustration: 40.
NHL team: Thrashers. First season in Atlanta: 1999. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 9.
Seasons since last Atlanta title: 12. Total seasons of frustration: 45 (the Thrashers didn't exist in 1996, so their total remains 9; this holds true for any team in this situation).

Baltimore.
NFL team: Ravens. First season in Baltimore: 1996. Last title: 2000-01. Seasons of frustration: 7.
MLB team: Orioles. First season in Baltimore: 1954. Last title: 1983. Seasons of frustration: 25.
Seasons since last Baltimore title: 7. Total seasons of frustration: 14.

Boston.
NFL team: Cheaters. First season in Boston: 1960. Last title: 2004-05. Seasons of frustration: 3.
MLB team: Red Sox. First season in Boston: 1901. Last title: 2007. Seasons of frustration: 1.
NBA team: Celtics. First season in Boston: 1946. Last title: 2007-08. Seasons of frustration: 0.
NHL team: Bruins. First season in Boston: 1924. Last title: 1971-72. Seasons of frustration: 36.
Seasons since last Boston title: 0. Total seasons of frustration: 0.

Buffalo.
NFL team: Bills. First season in Buffalo: 1960. Last title: 1965. (AFL title). Seasons of frustration: 44.
NHL team: Sabres. First season in Buffalo: 1970. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 38.
Seasons since last Buffalo title. 44. Total seasons of frustration: 82.

Calgary.
NHL team: Flames. First season in Calgary: 1980. Last title: 1988-89. Seasons of frustration: 19.
Seasons since last Calgary title: 19. Total seasons of frustration: 19.

Charlotte.
NFL team: Panthers. First season in Charlotte: 1995. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 13.
NBA team: Bobcats. First season in Charlotte: 2004. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 4.
Seasons since last Charlotte title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 17.

Chicago.
NFL team: Da Bears. First season in Chicago: 1921. Last title: 1985-86. Seasons of frustration: 22.
MLB teams: Cubs, White Sox. First season(s) in Chicago: 1876, 1901. Last title: 1908, 2005. Seasons of frustration: 100, 3.
NBA team: Bulls. First season in Chicago: 1966. Last title: 1997-98. Seasons of frustration: 10.
NHL team: Blackhawks. First season in Chicago: 1926. Last title: 1960-61. Seasons of frustration: 47.
Seasons since last Chicago title: 3. Total seasons of frustration: 12 (or 40 if you're a Cubs fan, because you don't acknowledge the White Sox World Series win).

Cincinnati.
NFL team: Bengals. First season in Cincinnati: 1968. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 40.
MLB team: Reds. First season in Cincinnati: 1882. Last title: 1990. Seasons of frustration: 18.
Seasons since last Cincinnati title: 18. Total seasons of frustration: 36.

Cleveland.
NFL team: Browns. First season in Cleveland: 1946. Last title: 1964. Seasons of frustration: 44.
MLB team: Indians. First season in Cleveland: 1901. Last title: 1948. Seasons of frustration: 61.
NBA team: Cavaliers. First season in Cleveland: 1970. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 38.
Seasons since last Cleveland title: 44. Total seasons of frustration: 126.

Columbus.
NHL team: Blue Jackets. First season in Columbus: 2000. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 8.
Seasons since last Columbus title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 8.

Dallas.
NFL team: Cowboys. First season in Dallas: 1960. Last title: 1995-96. Seasons of frustration: 12.
MLB team: Rangers. First season in Dallas: 1972. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 37.
NBA team: Mavericks. First season in Dallas: 1980. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 28.
NHL team: Stars. First season in Dallas: 1993. Last title: 1998-99. Seasons of frustration: 9.
Seasons since last Dallas title: 9. Total seasons of frustration: 36.

Denver.
NFL team: Broncos. First season in Denver: 1960. Last title: 1998-99. Seasons of frustration: 9.
MLB team: Rockies. First season in Denver: 1993. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 16.
NBA team: Nuggets. First season in Denver: 1967 (with the ABA). Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 41.
NHL team: Avalanche. First season in Denver: 1995. Last title: 2000-01. Seasons of frustration: 7.
Seasons since last Denver title: 7. Total seasons of frustration: 28.

Detroit.
NFL team: Lions. First season in Detroit: 1934. Last title: 1957. Seasons of frustration: 51.
MLB team: Tigers. First season in Detroit: 1901. Last title: 1984. Seasons of frustration: 24.
NBA team: Pistons. First season in Detroit: 1957. Last title: 2004-05. Seasons of frustration: 3.
NHL team: Red Wings. First season in Detroit: 1926 (as the Cougars). Last title: 2007-08. Seasons of frustration: 0.
Seasons since last Detroit title: 0. Total seasons of frustration: 0.

Edmonton.
NHL team: Oilers. First season in Edmonton: 1972 (in the WHA). Last title: 1989-90. Seasons of frustration: 18.
Seasons since last Edmonton title: 18. Total seasons of frustration: 18.

Green Bay.
NFL team: Packers. First season in Green Bay: 1919 (as a semi-pro team). Last title: 1996-97. Seasons of frustration: 11.
Seasons since last Green Bay title: 11. Total seasons of frustration: 11.

Houston.
NFL team: Texans. First season in Houston: 2002. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 6.
MLB team: Astros. First seasons in Houston: 1962. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 47.
NBA team: Rockets. First season in Houston: 1971. Last title: 1994-95. Seasons of frustration: 13.
Seasons since last Houston title: 13. Total seasons of frustration: 39.

Indianapolis.
NFL team: Colts. First season in Indianapolis: 1984. Last title: 2006-07. Seasons of frustration: 1.
NBA team: Pacers. First season in Indianapolis: 1967 (with the ABA). Last title: 1972-73 (ABA title). Seasons of frustration: 35.
Seasons since last Indianapolis title: 1. Totals seasons of frustration: 2.

Jacksonville.
NFL team: Jaguars. First season in Jacksonville: 1995. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 13.
Seasons since last Jacksonville title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 13.

Kansas City.
NFL team: Chiefs. First season in Kansas City: 1963. Last title: 1969-70. Seasons of frustration: 37.
MLB team: Royals. First season in Kansas City: 1969. Last title: 1985. Seasons of frustration: 23.
Seasons since last Kansas City title: 23. Total seasons of frustration: 46.

Los Angeles.
NFL team: Trojans. Okay, not really, but I find it amusing that the second-largest media market in the country steadfastly refuses to support an NFL team.
MLB teams: Dodgers, Angels. First season(s) in Los Angeles: 1958, 1961. Last title: 1988, 2002. Seasons of frustration: 21, 6.
NBA teams: Lakers, Clippers. First season(s) in Los Angeles: 1960, 1984. Last title: 2001-02, Never. Seasons of frustration: 6, 23.
NHL teams: Kings, Ducks. First season(s) in Los Angeles: 1967, 1993. Last title: Never, 2006-07. Seasons of frustration: 41, 1.
Seasons since last Los Angeles title: 1 (or 6, since Anaheim might not count). Total seasons of frustration: 18.

Memphis.
NBA team: Grizzlies. First season in Memphis: 2001. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 7.
Seasons since last Memphis title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 7.

Miami.
NFL team: Dolphins. First season in Miami: 1966. Last title: 1972-73. Seasons of frustration: 35.
MLB team: Marlins. First season in Miami: 1993. Last title: 2003. Seasons of frustration: 5 (not that the fans care much about them anyway).
NBA team: Heat. First season in Miami: 1988. Last title: 2005-06. Seasons of frustration: 2.
NHL team: Panthers (based in Sunrise, which is a suburb of Fort Lauderdale). First season in Miami: 1993. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 15.
Seasons since last Miami title: 2. Total seasons of frustration: 8.

Milwaukee.
MLB team: Brewers. First season in Milwaukee: 1970. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 39.
NBA team: Bucks. First season in Milwaukee: 1968. Last title: 1970-71. Seasons of frustration: 36.
Seasons since last Milwaukee title: 36. Total seasons of frustration: 72.

Minneapolis/St. Paul.
NFL team: Vikings. First season in Minnesota: 1961. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 47.
MLB team: Twins. First season in Minnesota: 1961. Last title: 1991. Seasons of frustration: 18.
NBA team: Timberwolves. First seasons in Minnesota: 1989. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 19.
NHL team: Wild. First season in Minnesota: 2000. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 8.
Seasons since last Minneapolis/St. Paul title: 18. Total seasons of frustration: 72.

Montreal.
NHL team: Canadiens. First season in Montreal: 1909. Last title: 1992-93. Seasons of frustration: 15.
Seasons since last Montreal title: 15. Total seasons of frustration: 15.

Nashville.
NFL team: Titans. First season in Nashville: 1997. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 11.
NHL team: Predators. First season in Nashville: 1998. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 10.
Seasons since last Nashville title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 21.

New Orleans.
NFL team: Saints. First season in New Orleans: 1967. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 41.
NBA team: Hornets. First season in New Orleans: 2002. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 6.
Seasons since last New Orleans title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 47.

New York/New Jersey.
NFL teams: Giants, Jets. First season(s) in New York: 1925, 1960. Last title: 2007-08, 1968-69. Seasons of frustration: 0, 39.
MLB teams: Yankees, Mets. First season(s) in New York: 1903, 1962. Last title: 2000, 1986. Seasons of frustration: 8, 22.
NBA teams: Knicks, Nets. First season(s) in New York: 1946, 1967 (in the ABA). Last title: 1972-73, 1975-76. Seasons of frustration: 35, 32.
NHL teams: Rangers, Islanders, Devils. First season in New York: 1926, 1972, 1982. Last title: 1993-94, 1982-83, 2002-03. Seasons of frustration: 14, 25, 5.
Seasons since last New York/New Jersey title: 0. Total seasons of frustration: 0.

Oakland.
NFL team: Raiders. First season in Oakland: 1960. Last title: 1980-81 (the franchise won Super Bowl XVIII while in Los Angeles). Seasons of frustration: 27.
MLB team: Athletics. First season in Oakland: 1968. Last title: 1989. Seasons of frustration: 19.
NBA team: Warriors. First season in Oakland: 1962. Last title: 1974-75. Seasons of frustration: 33.
Seasons since last Oakland title: 19. Total seasons of frustration: 57.

Oklahoma City.
NBA team: Thunder. First season in Oklahoma City: 2008. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 0.

Orlando.
NBA team: Magic. First season in Orlando: 1989. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 19.
Seasons since last Orlando title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 19.

Ottawa.
NHL team: Senators. First season in Ottawa: 1992. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 16.
Seasons since last Ottawa title: Never (the old Senators won a bunch of Stanley Cups, but they left the city in 1934). Total seasons of frustration: 16.

Philadelphia.
NFL team: Eagles. First season in Philadelphia: 1933. Last title: 1960. Seasons of frustration: 48.
MLB team: Phillies. First season in Philadelphia: 1883. Last title: 1980. Seasons of frustration: 28.
NBA team: 76ers. First season in Philadelphia: 1963. Last title: 1982-83. Seasons of frustration: 25.
NHL team: Flyers. First season in Philadelphia: 1967. Last title: 1974-75. Seasons of frustration: 33.
Seasons since last Philadelphia title: 25. Total seasons of frustration: 100.

Phoenix.
NFL team: Cardinals. First season in Phoenix: 1988. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 21.
MLB team: Diamondbacks. First season in Phoenix: 1998. Last title: 2001. Seasons of frustration: 7.
NBA team: Suns. First season in Phoenix: 1968. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 40.
NHL team: Coyotes. First season in Phoenix: 1996. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 12.
Seasons since last Phoenix title: 7. Total seasons of frustration: 28.

Pittsburgh.
NFL team: Steelers. First season in Pittsburgh: 1933. Last title: 2005-06. Seasons of frustration: 2.
MLB team: Pirates. First season in Pittsburgh: 1882. Last title: 1979. Seasons of frustration: 29.
NBA team: Pisces. Wait, you mean they weren't real?
NHL team: Penguins. First season in Pittsburgh: 1967. Last title: 1991-92. Seasons of frustration: 16.
Seasons since last Pittsburgh title: 2. Total seasons of frustration: 8.

Portland.
NBA team: Trail Blazers. First season in Portland: 1970. Last title: 1976-77. Seasons of frustration: 31.
Seasons since last Portland title: 31. Total seasons of frustration: 31.

Raleigh.
NHL team: Hurricanes. First season in Raleigh: 1997. Last title: 2005-06. Seasons of frustration: 2.
Seasons since last Raleigh title: 2. Total seasons of frustration: 2.

Sacramento.
NBA team: Kings. First season in Sacramento: 1985. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 23.
Seasons since last Sacramento title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 23.

Salt Lake City.
NBA team: Jazz. First season in Salt Lake City: 1979. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 28.
Seasons since last Salt Lake City title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 28.

San Antonio.
NBA team: Spurs. First season in San Antonio: 1973. Last title: 2006-07. Seasons of frustration: 1.
Seasons since last San Antonio title: 1. Total seasons of frustration: 1.

San Diego.
NFL team: Chargers. First season in San Diego: 1961. Last title: 1963 (AFL title). Seasons of frustration: 44.
MLB team: Padres. First season in San Diego: 1969. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 40.
Seasons since last San Diego title: 44. Total seasons of frustration: 84.

San Francisco.
NFL team: 49ers. First season in San Francisco: 1946. Last title: 1994-95. Seasons of frustration: 13.
MLB team: Giants. First season in San Francisco: 1958. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 51.
NBA team: Warriors (sort of). First season in San Francisco: 1962. Last title: 1974-75. Seasons of frustration: 33.
Seasons since last San Francisco title: 13. Total seasons of frustration: 36.

San Jose.
NHL team: Sharks. First season in San Jose: 1991. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 17.
Seasons since last San Jose title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 17.

Seattle.
NFL team: Seahawks. First season in Seattle: 1976. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 32.
MLB team: Mariners. First season in Seattle: 1977. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 32.
NBA team: SuperSonics (whoops!). First season in Seattle: 1967. Last title: 1978-79. Seasons of frustration: 29, plus the team moved.
Seasons since last Seattle title: 29. Total seasons of frustration: 87.

St. Louis.
NFL team: Rams. First season in St. Louis: 1995. Last title: 1998-99. Seasons of frustration: 9.
MLB team: Cardinals. First season in St. Louis: 1882. Last title: 2006. Seasons of frustration: 2.
NHL team: Blues. First season in St. Louis: 1967. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 41.
Seasons since last St. Louis title: 2. Total seasons of frustration: 6.

Tampa/St. Petersburg.
NFL team: Buccaneers. First season in Tampa: 1976. Last title: 2002-03. Seasons of frustration: 5.
MLB team: Rays. First season in Tampa: 1998. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 10 (soon to be 11).
NHL team: Lightning. First season in Tampa: 1992. Last title: 2003-04. Seasons of frustration: 4.
Seasons since last Tampa/St. Petersburg title: 4. Total seasons of frustration: 12.

Toronto.
MLB team: Blue Jays. First season in Toronto: 1977. Last title: 1993. Seasons of frustration: 15.
NBA team: Raptors. First season in Toronto: 1995. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 13.
NHL team: Maple Leafs. First season in Toronto: 1917. Last title: 1966-67. Seasons of frustration: 41.
Seasons since last Toronto title: 15. Total seasons of frustration: 45.

Vancouver.
NHL team: Canucks. First seasons in Vancouver: 1970. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 38.
Seasons since last Vancouver title: Never. Total seasons of frustration: 38.

Washington, D. C.
NFL team: Washington NFL franchise. First season in Washington: 1937. Last title: 1991-92. Seasons of frustration: 16.
MLB team: Nationals. First season in Washington: 2005. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 4.
NBA team: Wizards. First season in Washington: 1973. Last title: 1977-78. Seasons of frustration: 30.
NHL team: Capitals. First seasons in Washington: 1974. Last title: Never. Seasons of frustration: 34.
Seasons since last Washington, D. C. title: 16. Total seasons of frustration: 64.

Obviously, many cities have suffered for longer than Philadelphia. Not Tampa, however. In the past five years they've celebrated a Super Bowl title and a Stanley Cup victory. The thought of a team from Tampa hoisting the Stanley Cup still makes me ill. Anyway, much has been made of the fact that Philadelphia has the longest title drought of any city with four major sports teams. The closest city to them is Minneapolis/St. Paul, which last won a title in 1991 when the Twins won the World Series. But let's expand it to cities with three major sports teams. Cleveland has gone the longest without a title (44 years) and Seattle has gone the second-longest (29; I count Seattle because the Sonics just left the city). Other cities that have gone longer without a title don't have as many possibilities, because they don't have as many teams. And only Cleveland has a combined number of seasons since a title greater than Philadelphia. So the only fans who can whine as much as Philadelphia fans are people in Cleveland and Seattle. Fans of the Cubs can whine, but I still maintain that if you're a Cubs fan, you're probably a Bears and/or Bulls fan, so shut up.

Anyway, this might be a moot point after tonight, although I won't feel good until the final out. Maybe if the Phillies win tonight somebody in the media will talk about how good they are. Probably not - they'll just come up with ways the Rays lost. But it won't matter, because Philadelphia will be able to celebrate. That would be nice.

It was fifteen years ago today ...

It doesn't have quite the same ring to it as the Beatles' song does, but I can't control how long ago something happened!

As you may or may not have heard, the Philadelphia Phillies are playing in the World Series for only the sixth time. As a lifelong Phillies fan, this means I am happy after years of disappointment. I do have to say that I'm not quite as hard core a fan as some, so even if the Phillies lose, I'll forget it fairly soon. I have real things in my life to worry about, thank you very much.

But it's still nice to see them playing on baseball's biggest stage. They haven't been in the World Series since 1993, a series that ended fifteen years ago today. Yes, October 23, 1993, was the sixth and final game of that series. It did not go well for the Phillies.

The World Series that year was actually pretty entertaining, especially the last three games. Trailing 2 games to 1, the Phillies and Toronto Blue Jays staged a wild game in Game Four, with the Phillies taking a 14-9 lead into the eighth before choking it away as the Jays scored 6 runs to win 15-14. Facing elimination in the next game, Curt Schilling threw a five-hit shutout (the last complete game shutout in the World Series for a decade) to bring the Phillies back to 3 games to 2. Then, in Game Six, Mitch Williams took the mound in the bottom of the ninth with a 6-5 lead (after the Phillies scored 5 runs in the top of the seventh to take the lead). Rickey Henderson and Paul Molitor got on, and then, well, Joe Carter came to the plate. Yeah, that didn't end well. On a 2-2 pitch, Carter hit a pitch out of the park.

It's the only time a World Series has ended with a home run by a player on a trailing team and only the second time a World Series ended with a home run (Bill Mazeroski's home run in 1960 broke a tie). Die hard Phillies fans also claim it sent the team into a decade-long tailspin from which they only recently recovered (2007 was the first time they made the postseason since 1993), but let's face it, the '93 team was a bit magical. A lot of players had career years, from Lenny Dykstra flirting with .400 for the first half of the season to Tommy Greene, who won 16 of his career 38 games that season. I very much doubt they would have kept anything going even if they had won the Series. It would have been nice, of course, but it's not like this team was going to turn into a dynasty.

So that was fifteen years ago. This year the Phillies currently have a 1-0 lead in games in the Series, and I really hope they win, not only because I've loved them since the 1980 season (a serendipitous time to become a Phillies fan) but because it seems like a lot of media people want the Rays to win (and Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, who are calling the games, definitely want the Rays to win). Some people have picked the Phillies, of course, but I'm talking about who they're rooting for. And I really, really hope nobody on St. Petersburg ruins our day with a walk-off home run like Joe Carter did. That would suck.

What have we learned - Week 7

You know what I learned this week? I learned that if the Eagles aren't playing and the local team isn't playing (Arizona had a bye), I can go the whole day without watching football. I watched about two minutes of the Dallas-St. Louis game (yay, Rams!) and a few minutes of the Indianapolis-Green Bay game (yay, Packers!) and a few random minutes of some other games, but I watched pretty much no professional football this weekend! I didn't even watch a lot of college football! I did watch all of the Penn State game, though, because they had lost nine straight games to Michigan and they couldn't let it happen again! So my thoughts are brief this week.

Even when they fell behind 17-7, I didn't worry too much about the Nittany Lions. The Wolverines came out with a ton of energy, Daryll Clark fumbled on the second drive, and once they settled down and stopped making stupid mistakes, I figured PSU would take control. I knew if they scored before the end of the half, they'd be okay, and they got into the end zone to make it 17-14. Then they outscored Michigan 32-0 in the second half to blast the losing streak to smithereens. It was great to see them calm down and just let their talent take over, and now that they've had to come back from some adversity, maybe they can actually win on the road at Ohio State, which they've never done since they joined the Big Eleven. The Buckeyes have been looking good since they put Terrelle Pryor in at starting quarterback, but that's been against weaker competition (yes, Michigan State was ranked, but they always fold when faced with a little adversity). Pryor is athletic, but Penn State's defense is pretty athletic too. Of course, Penn State hasn't faced a defense as good as Ohio State's either, so this game should be fun ... if you don't care who wins. For me, it will be torture unless one team gets far ahead early. Besides the big games, you might have missed New Mexico hanging 70 on San Diego State, Tulsa blasting UTEP 77-35 (the game, astonishingly enough, was tied 28-28 after one quarter) to go to 7-0, and Arizona upsetting Cal 42-27 to set up the unlikely showdown for the Pac-10 with USC next weekend. The last time the Trojans went to Tucson, two years ago, they lost, so watch out for the Wildcats! And let's pity poor Washington State, who might be the worst Pac-10 team in history. The Cougars have won one game, over Division 1-AA Portland State (and they lost their quarterback in that game, by the way), and they've lost by these scores: 13-39, 3-66, 17-45 (to Baylor!), 14-63, 3-28, 13-66, and 0-69. Holy crap! And if you haven't seen it, here's the ref in the LSU-South Carolina game ... making a tackle. Yes, he's making a tackle. The SEC claims there will be no penalty for the ref ... making a freakin' tackle!

(The quality is pretty poor, but you can still see it.)


St. Louis 34, Dallas 14. So what the hell happened to the Cowboys? They suck. Good times!
Turnovers: Cowboys 4, Rams 0. Turnovers = loss? Most definitely. I have mentioned before that the Cowboys' penchant for turnovers would catch up to them, and it looks like it is. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you turn the ball over, you're in trouble. 1-0.

Baltimore 27, Miami 13. Joe Flacco had a darned good game, didn't he? And I guess teams are figuring out the "Wildcat" formation of the Dolphins. They'll have to come up with something else!
Turnovers: Ravens 1, Dolphins 1. Turnovers = loss? It's a wash, although the one Miami turnover went for a touchdown.

New York Giants 29, San Francisco 17. San Francisco fired Mike Nolan today. I liked Mike Nolan because he wore a suit on the sideline. Basketball coaches wear suits, and I think football coaches and baseball managers should too. Can you imagine Vince Lombardi wearing the Nike gear they wear today? Or Connie Mack?
Turnovers: 49ers 3, Giants 0. Turnovers = loss? Why not! 2-0.

Carolina 30, New Orleans 7. The Saints, like the Cowboys, are unraveling before our eyes. They have no defense, they lost Reggie Bush for at least one game, and, in perhaps the most predictable event of the season, Jeremy Shockey ripped the team. What a dick.
Turnovers: Saints 2, Panthers 0. Turnovers = loss? Of course! 3-0.

Buffalo 23, San Diego 14. Are the Bills really this good? Trent Edwards was fantastic in this game, and their defense stuffed LaDanian Tomlinson. Of course, they lost 41-17 to Arizona, so who the hell knows?
Turnovers: Chargers 3, Bills 0. Turnovers = loss? I'd say so! 4-0.

Chicago 48, Minnesota 41. Now this is a game I kind of wished I had watched. A blocked punt for a touchdown, a stupid play on a punt that ended up in the end zone for a touchdown, a fumble by a wide receiver that was recovered by a different wide receiver for a touchdown, and all kinds of other big plays. Fun game, it seems.
Turnovers: Vikings 5, Da Bears 1. Turnovers = loss? Kind of definitely. 5-0.

Pittsburgh 38, Cincinnati 10. Poor Woody! Cincinnati is just so, so awful. I can sympathize - I'm an Eagles fan! I lived through the Rich Kotite Era!
Turnovers: Bengals 1, Steelers 0. Turnovers = loss? I suppose. 6-0.

Tennessee 34, Kansas City 10. Tennessee, the league's last unbeaten team, is really good, but let's face it - the Chiefs are really bad. Lendale White had an 80-yard touchdown run where he ran up the middle and wasn't touched. Herm Edwards kicked a field goal in the fourth quarter with his team losing 27-0. This is not a good football team. And as much as I liked Larry Johnson in college, Roger Goodell has to suspend him, doesn't he? (Johnson apparently likes shoving women, which is unfortunate.)
Turnovers: Titans 0, Chiefs 0. Turnovers = loss? It's a wash, but notice that even though the Titans didn't force any turnovers, they didn't commit any, either. Don't turn the ball over!

Houston 28, Detroit 21. This had to be the least-watched game of the weekend, right? I bet jai alai would have gotten better ratings. To be fair, jai alai is frickin' awesome. Maybe the Texans and Lions should have played jai alai!
Turnovers: Texans 1, Lions 0. Turnovers = loss? No, because bad teams often don't take advantage of the turnovers they get. 6-1.

Oakland 16, New York Jets 13. I shouldn't take such pleasure in watching R. C. Favre fail, should I? Well, I do. Sorry!
Turnovers: Jets 3, Raiders 0. Turnovers = loss? I should think so! 7-1.

Green Bay 34, Indianapolis 14. At one point in the fourth quarter, Green Bay had more interception return yards (161) than Payton Manning had passing yards (160). That's pretty awesome.
Turnovers: Colts 2, Packers 0. Turnovers = loss? Considering that both Colts TOs went for touchdowns, I'd say yes. 8-1.

Washington 14, Cleveland 11. At the end of this game, the Browns were driving for a tying field goal and they kept throwing deep passes when they only needed about ten. What's up with that? And then Phil Dawson missed a 54-yard field goal that might have been good from about 44. Good move, Cleveland.
Turnovers: Washington 1, Browns 0. Turnovers = loss? Again, a bad team wins the turnover battle but not the game. 8-2.

Tampa 20, Seattle 10. I wonder how many people in the area watched this game instead of Game 7 of the ALCS. Baseball has fallen so far off the map that a regular season game against a crappy Seattle team probably did better in the ratings in the Tampa area. But I don't know for sure. Tampa held the ball for almost 42 minutes, by the way. You're going to win a lot of games with that time of possession.
Turnovers: Seahawks 2, Buccaneers 1. Turnovers = loss? Sure! 9-2.

New England 41, Denver 7. This game got out of hand in a hurry. I turned it on at one point and it was 13-0 in the second quarter. Then it went nuts. The Broncos aren't good enough defensively to turn the ball over so much on the road.
Turnovers: Broncos 5, Cheaters 0. Turnovers = loss? I would say so. 10-2.

Tennessee: 8 turnovers, +6 margin, 6-0 record.
Green Bay: 8 turnovers, +6 margin, 4-3 record.
Chicago: 11 turnovers, +5 margin, 4-3 record.
Philadelphia: 7 turnovers, +5 margin 3-3 record.
Cleveland: 7 turnovers, +5 margin, 2-4 record.
Pittsburgh: 5 turnovers, +4 margin, 5-1 record.
Tampa: 11 turnovers, +4 margin, 5-2 record.
New England: 7 turnovers, +4 margin, 4-2 record.
Miami: 4 turnovers, +4 margin, 2-4 record.
Washington: 5 turnovers, +3 margin, 5-2 record.
St. Louis: 6 turnovers, +3 margin, 2-4 record.
Atlanta: 5 turnovers, +2 margin, 4-2 record.
Indianapolis: 8 turnovers, +2 margin, 3-3 record.
Oakland: 8 turnovers, +2 margin, 2-4 record.
New York Giants: 4 turnovers, +1 margin, 5-1 record.
Buffalo: 9 turnovers, +1 margin, 5-1 record.
Jacksonville: 8 turnovers, +1 margin, 3-3 record.
San Diego: 9 turnovers, +1 margin, 3-4 record.
Kansas City: 10 turnovers, +1 margin, 1-5 record.
Carolina: 9 turnovers, +0 margin, 5-2 record.
Arizona: 12 turnovers, -1 margin, 4-2 record.
New York Jets: 13 turnovers, -3 margin, 3-3 record.
Detroit: 9 turnovers, -3 margin, 0-6 record.
Cincinnati: 13 turnovers, -3 margin, 0-7 record.
Baltimore: 13 turnovers, -4 margin, 3-3 record.
New Orleans: 13 turnovers, -4 margin, 3-4 record.
Minnesota: 15 turnovers, -5 margin, 3-4 record.
Dallas: 13 turnovers, -6 margin, 4-3 record.
Seattle: 11 turnovers, -6 margin, 1-5 record.
San Francisco: 18 turnovers, -8 margin, 2-5 record.
Denver: 16 turnovers, -9 margin, 4-3 record.
Houston: 14 turnovers, -9 margin, 2-4 record.

Next week the Eagles are back, so I'll be watching more games. Theoretically, the analysis will be better!

Sex makes people weird

Yes, it's quite the revelation! Sex is bizarre, in all its glorious forms! Let's go to the videotape (okay, not really, because that would be oogy, but just work with me):

In Michigan, a man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash. The article, unfortunately, doesn't go into much more detail. We need details, damn it!

Maybe that guy should enter the ... Sex Olympics! I found the link here. That first link is not exactly safe for work (the front page features crude Keith Haring-type drawings in various positions), but you kind of have to root around for the really naughty bits. Basically, next August on the Gold Coast of Queensland (as decadent a place as any, I guess), you can join the Sex Olympics and help determine, well, the world's greatest fucker. Now that's good stuff!

That guy with the vacuum might win a medal or two. Someone should tell him about it!

Fun with Sarah

Two stories about Sarah Palin:

In the first one, she says that God has blessed the United States with natural resources, and dagnabit, we've got to use them! That doesn't offend me too much, any more than any insistence that God cares more about Americans than he does anyone else in the world does. What's awesome about the story is the quote by John Shirley, 63, of Pittsboro (presumably North Carolina, as that's where she was speaking): "She's a hunter. She opposes abortion. She's religious. She reflects a lot of the values we have here in the South." That's just too excellent for words. God, guns, and gangs of children - it's all in the South, man!

In the second story, Palin is reported to have said that she likes being in North Carolina, which is a "pro-America" part of the country. I haven't seen any confirmation of that, but if it's true, that's a great quote. Joe Biden jumped on that in a speech in New Mexico, and the Obama campaign issued a news release asking what parts of the country aren't "pro-America." I wonder if New York, which suffered the worst terrorist attack in American history and which politicians use whenever they want to look "concerned" but then decry in their speeches about small-town America, is "pro-America." Probably not.

I love Sarah Palin. If I weren't so angry at Bush and if I thought McCain would do any kind of good job, I'd vote for him just so we could get four years of Palin trying to explain herself. She'd be like an attractive Dan Quayle!

"The Phillies win the pennant! The Phillies win the pennant!"

Yeah, it doesn't have the same ring as "The Giants win the pennant!", which is one of the more famous calls in baseball history (referring to Bobby Thomson's home run in 1951 that gave the New York Giants a win over the Brooklyn Dodgers), but it's still true. As a life-long Phillies fan, I'm pretty excited. I'll be more excited in two weeks, when they're World Champions, although I have my doubts that it's going to happen.

A Philadelphia-St. Petersburg World Series (as seems likely to happen) will be death in the television ratings, which is all anyone cares about. Rob Neyer made an interesting point on a radio show this morning, though: It might suck for FOX, but the Rays have helped create thousands of baseball fans in Western Florida, and that can't be a bad thing for baseball. There were already fans in Boston and Los Angeles, and they're not going anywhere. So the Rays in the WS is only a bad thing if you care about ratings. Plus, Philadelphia is the sixth-largest market in baseball based on population. I'm not sure why Boston, which is smaller than El Paso in population, gets such a reputation as being a great baseball town. I mean, it is, but Phillies fans are just as passionate as Red Sox fans.

It has a lot to do with what the media wants. The Phillies are a solid team up and down the roster. They have home-grown several key players (Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Pat Burrell, and Cole Hamels, to name a few) and haven't gone out and chased a big free agent (like Manny Ramirez) to get them to this point, relying instead on smart acquisitions (like Brad Lidge, who was acquired for very little) that build on the core. As we saw in these playoffs, they don't need Ryan Howard to hit home runs to win. I haven't watched as much of Tampa as Philadelphia, obviously, but they're built much the same way, and they're younger than the Phillies are. They scare the crap out of me, frankly. These are two very good teams that "do things the right way," according to all the media. But the media lies. They don't want teams to "do things the right way," because that means the teams are somewhat boring. Look at the Yankees. The media want teams to be like the Yankees, throwing money around like drunken sailors, because then they're "interesting." It makes no difference whether they're good or not. ESPN and FOX wanted Los Angeles-Boston in the World Series not because those are the two best teams, but because they (reporters, that is) wouldn't have to do their jobs. The stories (Manny's and even Derek Lowe's return to Boston; Joe Torre managing against the BoSox again in a different uniform) would write themselves! Who wants to do work when you can simply point out the circus is in town?

I hope the ratings are good for a Philadelphia-St. Petersburg World Series. I don't really care, but it would be nice. More than that, though, I hope the media doesn't treat this like an afterthought and concentrate instead on which Dallas Cowboy is melting down this week. It's the media's job to get people interested in this series, and there are plenty of interesting stories on these two teams that DON'T have players who quit on one team to force a trade. It's a chicken-or-the-egg thing: Are people more interested in the Red Sox/Yankees/Cubs because they're fans, or are they fans because that's all ESPN seems to care about? I doubt if we'll ever know. I do know that the Phillies aren't "romantic" losers like the Cubs are and the Red Sox used to be. If only we had an idiotic curse in our background, then people would write poems and books about us and sports anchors would wax nostalgically about sitting in the stands bemoaning another 100-loss season!

It's been 25 years since a Philadelphia team celebrated a major championship. That's the longest drought for any city with teams in each major sport (baseball, football, basketball, and hockey). I might cry if the Phillies lose, not because it would affect me too much (I have moved on a bit from letting a sports team define me, after all), but because that would mean a loser city like Tampa gets to celebrate instead. At least we share that with Cubs fans - watching upstarts win World Series!

So Dodgers fans can choke on it. Have fun paying Manny 150 mil over 6 years and watching him take the last three of the deal off. And screw you, Mets fan who put Chicago on top of his rooting interest list for the playoffs (although, to be fair, he has the Phillies third). How's that Santana contract looking these days?* The Phillies win the pennant! Shout it with me!

As these pictures show, there's something perversely satisfactory about winning a series on the opponents' home field. It's more fun at home, but look at the dead eyes of the Dodgers and the downcast spectators. That's good stuff! I thought of this last night: Unless the Phillies sweep the Series or win in 5 (unlikely), they'll win all three series on the road. I think Phillies fans will take that.




* (Tom and Roger know, I hope, that I'm just funnin' with them. Men understand. The sports just gets the testosterone a-rumblin'! We're still pals, right, guys? Guys?)

What have we learned - Week 6

Well, this was certainly a wild weekend on the gridiron. I was feeling really crappy early on Sunday, so I missed some of the craziness, but I recovered in time to see the ending of the early games, and that's all that mattered, right? But first: colleges!

So every sports pundit was talking about how Wisconsin would provide a true test for Penn State. Then, after my beloved Lions dismantled the Badgers in Madison, sports pundits were talking about how weak PSU's schedule is. So which is it? I'm worried about the next two weeks, but right now, Penn State looks as good as those heavyweights in the SEC and Big 12. That's right! The big game, of course, was the Red River Shootout (which they're not allowed to call a "shootout" anymore), but I didn't watch much of the game. Texas still has a tough schedule, so it will be interesting to see what happens with them. I'm worried because Michigan, Penn State's next opponent, lost to Toledo, of all teams, so the Wolverines will be pissed next week when they go to Happy Valley. A few of the nice stories this year so far, Vanderbilt and Northwestern, went down, and Oklahoma State, led by coach Mike Gundy (famed for his "I'm a man! I'm forty!" rant last year), took down Missouri, which wasn't ready for their closeup, apparently. I fully expect Missouri to beat Texas this weekend, because nobody expects them to. Notre Dame went on the road and got beat, but not before, according to my mother, the refs tried to give the game to the Irish (I'm not joking about this - she called me on Saturday and was really angry about some of the blown calls). Out West, Arizona, which had aspirations of greatness, went on the road to Stanford and, while only losing by 1 point, got spanked by the Cardinal running game. And Arizona State continues to circle the drain, as they forced five (5!) turnovers by USC but still got shut out. Ouch. And Cal is ranked! Tom has to be pumped!

Philadelphia 40, San Francisco 26. Look, I like David Akers. He's a good kicker. But he's no longer a good kicker from outside 40 or so yards. He's just not. I can live with that. Andy Reid still thinks he can make 50+-yard field goals, though, which is ridiculous. So when he sent Akers out with one second left in the first half for a long field goal, nothing good could happen. The best thing that could happen would be a miss. The worst thing would be a block returned for a touchdown, which is of course what happened. The Eagles, however, tightened up their defense, and Reid decided to run the ball with Correll Buckhalter (only 18 carries, true, but 7 catches out of the backfield), and Philly put together 23 points in the fourth quarter for a HUGE win. It wasn't pretty, but once they settled down after the blocked field goal and the touchdown by the 49ers to start the second half, you could tell they were much better than San Fran. Now the Eagles have a bye, so Brian Westbrook can get healthy. Maybe they'll take off after a week off.
DeSean Jackson update! 1 rush for 1 yard, 6 catches for 98 yards, 2 punt returns for 28 yards. Season totals: 29 catches for 433 yards, 6 rushes for 50 yards, 19 punt returns for 253 yards.
Turnovers: 49ers 3, Eagles 1. Turnovers = loss? It seemed like it would be a wash for a while, but it turned out a 'yes.' 1-0.

Indianapolis 31, Baltimore 3. You know, I didn't watch this game, but I'm a bit peeved that the Colts should have been 0-4 going into this game, and now it looks like Peyton Manning is getting healthy. So now the Colts are going to take off, but they should already be too far behind to do any damage. Grrrr. Also, the Ravens deserve to lose the rest of their games for kicking a field goal while losing 31-0. Seriously, Baltimore?
Turnovers: Ravens 5, Colts 0. Turnovers = loss? It sure looks like that. 2-0.

Minnesota 12, Detroit 10. The most boring game of the day did, however, feature the dumbest play, perhaps, in NFL history. Did everyone see the safety in the first quarter? The box score says Jared Allen tackled Dan Orlovsky in the end zone. This is, of course, bogus. If you've seen the play, you know that Orlovsky simply runs out of the end zone, as if he didn't know where the end line was. Allen was about five yards away from him. I feel bad for Orlovsky, but it was still an idiotic play. Oh, and the Lions lost by 2 points. That's why they're the Lions.
Turnovers: Vikings 3, Lions 1. Turnovers = loss? Well, no, because the Lions were playing! 2-1.

New Orleans 34, Oakland 3. The Raiders actually led this game 3-0 after one quarter. Poor Oakland. Reggie Bush, by the way, just tied Anquan Boldin for the fastest receiver to 200 catches. He's not as good as people thought he would be, but he's pretty good.
Turnovers: Raiders 2, Saints 0. Turnovers = loss? Sure. 3-1.

New York Jets 26, Cincinnati 14. Oh, the Bengals are bad. Could they go winless? That would be fun! Carson Palmer still wants to play without getting healthy for an 0-6 team. Why wouldn't he just want to get healthy for next season? I understand that he loves playing football, but the season is over, man! Let it go!
Turnovers: Jets 3, Bengals 1. Turnovers = loss? R. C. Favre threw two interceptions, but Cincy couldn't take advantage of it. Of course! 3-2.

Atlanta 22, Chicago 20. I foolishly turned this game off when Chicago scored their touchdown to go ahead 20-19 ... with 11 seconds left. They couldn't win with only 11 seconds on the clock! Sheesh. I don't know who runs the clock at games, but I hope you saw the fact that on the play before the game-winning field goal, the clock didn't start for about a second-and-a-half after the ball was snapped. Given that the field goal was kicked with a second left, I wonder if the NFL will be looking into the clock. That seems weird.
Turnovers: Bears 1, Falcons 1. Turnovers = loss? It's a wash.

Tampa 27, Carolina 3. I didn't watch any of this. I guess Jake Delhomme had a bad game. I've thought he's been overrated for a long time, so I'm not surprised.
Turnovers: Panthers 3, Buccaneers 0. Turnovers = loss? Sure! 4-2.

St. Louis 19, Washington 17. I'm certainly glad that the Rams won because it helps the Eagles, but if you're St. Louis, don't you have to cut Richie Incognito? Here you are, driving for the winning field goal, which would be your first win, against a good team on the road, and if you're Incognito, you start yelling at the referee - not another player - and you get a 15-yard penalty to turn a chip-shot field goal into a long one. It all worked out in the end, but Incognito's idiocy (despite the fact that he has that great name) is a reason why the Rams suck.
Turnovers: Washington 3, Rams 1. Those were the first turnovers by the Washington offense this year, by the way. Turnovers = loss? Definitely. The Rams scored their only touchdown on a fumble return. 5-2.

Houston 29, Miami 28. That first Dolphins touchdown was pretty awesome. They ran the "Wildcat" formation that has been so good for them, and Ronnie Brown handed off to Ricky Williams, who pitched back to Chad Pennington, who was split out like he usually is in this formation. Pennington launched a 53-yard touchdown pass. I love when coaches pull weird crap like this, because it takes balls in the staid NFL. Soon their coach will get conservative and boring, and we'll all be sad. But that was cool. Oh, and Houston won for the first time. That was nice for them.
Turnovers: Texans 4, Dolphins 1. Turnovers = loss? No. Miami is semi-decent and they couldn't win this game with a +3 turnovers margin? Sheesh. 5-3.

Jacksonville 24, Denver 17. In the Suicide Pool that Woody! runs, where you pick a team you're certain is going to lose, I took Jacksonville this week. I figured they were on the road, and they're kind of up-and-down, so why not? Well, in one word, turnovers. Sure, the Jaguars beat the Broncos up in the fourth quarter, but the +1 turnovers margin for the Jags was just enough to win a road game against a pretty good opponent. Damn.
Turnovers: Broncos 3, Jaguars 2. Turnovers = loss? Yes, confound it. 6-3.

Green Bay 27, Seattle 17. You know, it's unfair to hold Aaron Rodgers to the R. C. Favre standard. I think Favre is overrated, but his consecutive games streak is pretty impressive. But he's a freakin' freak of nature, for crying out loud. To say that Rodgers should play through everything just because R. C. did it is going to get him hurt more, and fans and media people who suggest he's not "tough" because he's not going to put together a streak like R. C.'s should shut up. I'm glad he didn't get hurt more, mostly because he was playing what suddenly looks like a bottom-five NFL team, but I wouldn't be surprised if he gets lit up one of these days when he shouldn't have been playing and spends far more time than necessary rehabbing. Give it a rest, Packers fans - R. C. Favre is gone, and he ain't coming back.
Turnovers: Seahawks 2, Packers 1. Turnovers = loss? Sure looks that way. 7-3.

Arizona 30, Dallas 24. Man, what a bad day for the Cowboys (and, continuing on, a bad week, as Adam Jones was suspended today). They lost their quarterback and punter in the space of a few plays. You may not think the punter is all that important, but considering they're going with a 40-year-old QB and field position will be important, losing the punter is pretty tough. Of course, they wouldn't have lost the punter if their special teams could, you know, block someone. The Cardinals are in first place (!), two games ahead of the 49ers (!!), but after the bye week, they have to go back to the East Coast, where they stunk up the joint a few games ago. Good teams have to win a difficult road game, don't they? The Cardinals play at Carolina in two weeks. We'll see if they're a good team or just the same old Cardinals.
Turnovers: Cardinals 3, Cowboys 1. Turnovers = loss? For once, the Cowboys won the turnover margin. Yet they lost. I guess they should keep turning the ball over more than getting them! 7-4.

San Diego 30, New England 10. Will the Cheaters even win 8 games? I watched a few minutes of this game, and they looked awful. Matt Cassell looked terrible, sure, but so did everyone else. Sheesh. Speaking of phoning it in, John Madden called this game but will miss next week's game in Tampa because he's tired of riding the bus cross-country so much. Hey, here's a thought: Take a frickin' plane! Anyway, it will be the first game he misses in 28 years. That's not bad.
Turnovers: Cheaters 1, Chargers 1. Turnovers = loss? Another wash.

Cleveland 35, New York Giants 14. I didn't watch any of this game (the Phillies were on!) but I certainly liked the outcome. I wouldn't have picked the Browns, but you just got the feeling, after this weird weekend, that the Giants were ready for a fall. One wonders if Eli will regress now that he had a bad game. As an Eagles fan, I can only hope!
Turnovers: Giants 3, Browns 0. Turnovers = loss? Definitely. You can't turn the ball over that much on the road and win. Well, you can occasionally, but it's not a terribly good idea. 8-4.

Tennessee: 8 turnovers, +6 margin, 5-0 record.
Philadelphia: 7 turnovers, +5 margin, 3-3 record.
Washington: 4 turnovers, +4 margin, 4-2 record.
Indianapolis: 6 turnovers, +4 margin, 3-2 record.
San Diego: 6 turnovers, +4 margin, 3-3 record.
Green Bay: 8 turnovers, +4 margin, 3-3 record.
Miami: 3 turnovers, +4 margin, 2-3 record.
Cleveland: 7 turnovers, +4 margin, 2-3 record.
Pittsburgh: 5 turnovers, +3 margin, 4-1 record.
Tampa: 10 turnovers, +3 margin, 4-2 record.
Atlanta: 5 turnovers, +2 margin, 4-2 record.
Jacksonville: 8 turnovers, +1 margin, 3-3 record.
Chicago: 10 turnovers, +1 margin, 3-3 record.
Kansas City: 10 turnovers, +1 margin, 1-4 record.
New York Jets: 10 turnovers, +0 margin, 3-2 record.
Minnesota: 10 turnovers, +0 margin, 3-3 record.
Arizona: 12 turnovers, -1 margin, 4-2 record.
New England: 7 turnovers, -1 margin, 3-2 record.
St. Louis: 6 turnovers, -1 margin, 1-4 record.
Oakland: 8 turnovers, -1 margin, 1-4 record.
New York Giants: 4 turnovers, -2 margin, 4-1 record.
Buffalo: 9 turnovers, -2 margin, 4-1 record.
Carolina: 9 turnovers, -2 margin, 4-2 record.
Dallas: 9 turnovers, -2 margin, 4-2 record.
New Orleans: 11 turnovers, -2 margin, 3-3 record.
Cincinnati: 12 turnovers, -2 margin, 0-6 record.
Denver: 11 turnovers, -4 margin, 4-2 record.
Baltimore: 12 turnovers, -4 margin, 2-3 record.
Detroit: 9 turnovers, -4 margin, 0-5 record.
San Francisco: 15 turnovers, -5 margin, 2-4 record.
Seattle: 9 turnovers, -5 margin, 1-4 record.
Houston: 13 turnovers, -8 margin, 1-4 record.

So that's the week in football. Yes, I'm very happy that the Phillies are a game away from the World Series. But that's a post for another day!

I often wonder if some people are from this planet

Last week, I saw this.

Out in Michigan, a man in an adult education English class doused his teacher in a nonflammable liquid and threatened to burn her as a witch because she assigned "The Crucible." Yes, the Arthur Miller play.

The 20-year-old man is obviously a bit unhinged. He said he was trying to kill the witch by pouring holy water over her head. He called the play "blasphemy" on the day it was assigned, then chanted around the teacher the next day.

Seriously. I get that there are crazy people in this world, but what's depressing is that a large sector of our population probably wouldn't see anything weird about what this dude did. That's even sadder than the fact that this guy thought the teacher should be burned.

One final point: the detective quoted in the story is named Ken Denmark. Doesn't that just sound like a tough-guy P. I. in a 1970s television show? Well, I thought so. "Ken Denmark, P. I." starring Perry King! It totally works.

This is weird

Today I was listening to the radio, as I often do in my automobile. During the commercial interruption, a advertisement for a car dealership here in the Basin came on (I think it was a Toyota dealership, but that's not really relevant). In these tough economic times, people are trying to get you to buy stuff, but they need to offer incentives. Usually this translates into zero money down or zero interest for a period of time. That's what this dealership was offering. What made me chuckle was the background music they used to help sell their plan:

"Saved by Zero" by The Fixx.

Holy crap, what a reference. "Saved by Zero," for those of you who don't own The Fixx's 1983 seminal album Reach the Beach, appears on The Fixx's 1983 seminal album Reach the Beach. It's actually not a bad song or a bad album, if you must know. The commercial didn't even feature The Fixx's version - it was a goofy, cheesy, Casio-keyboard-inspired version.

It just seemed odd. "Saved by Zero" wasn't a huge hit, was it?

Horrible self-indulgence, Year Four

Once again, I've finished another year of blogging. Yes, four years ago today I started, and I haven't stopped, although I'm sure many of you want me to! I don't have as many readers as I used to, and it makes me sad, but I'm going to keep plugging along for a while, as long as I like doing it. I post more at Comics Should Be Good! these days, mostly because there's always something new to say about comics (and I can piss off more people over there!) and I get paid to do it (not much, but a bit). However, I appreciate everyone who reads this, and I wish I had more time to write here. So here are the highlights from this past year of blogging. If you're interested!

BOOKS I READ.

Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell.
The Dark Angel by Mika Waltari, The Fall of Rome and the End of Civilization by Bryan Ward-Perkins, and Sailing from Byzantium: How a Lost Empire Saved the World by Colin Wells.
From Jesus to Christianity: How Four Generations of Visionaries & Storytellers Created the New Testament and Christian Faith by L. Michael White.
Rolling Thunder in a Gentle Land: The Vietnam War Revisited by Andrew Wiest, ed.
Breaker Boys: The NFL's Greatest Team and the Stolen 1925 Championship by David Fleming.
Love and Death in Kathmandu: A Strange Tale of Royal Murder by Amy Willesee and Mark Whittaker.
Charlemagne by Derek Wilson and Becoming Charlemagne: Europe, Baghdad, and the Empires of A.D. 800 by Jeff Sypeck.
Krakatoa: The Day the World Exploded, August 27, 1883 by Simon Winchester.
Jeeves and the Tie that Binds by P. G. Wodehouse.
Napoleon and his Collaborators: The Making of a Dictatorship by Isser Woloch.
In Search of Myths and Heroes: Exploring Four Epic Legends of the World by Michael Wood.
Pontius Pilate by Ann Wroe.
Nanjing 1937 by Ye Zhaoyan.
Dark Horse: The Surprise Election and Political Murder of President James A. Garfield by Kenneth D. Ackerman.
Last Team Standing: How the Steelers and the Eagles - "The Steagles" - Saved Pro Football During World War II by Matthew Algeo.
Young J. Edgar: Hoover, the Red Scare, and the Assault on Civil Liberties by Kenneth D. Ackerman.
Jews and American Comics: An Illustrated History of an American Art Form by Paul Buhle, ed.

POP CULTURE.

The glory of Katrin Cartlidge.
Let's recast Arsenic and Old Lace!
Scary things in the Sunday comics!
What's up with The Departed?
The birthplace of fame: Scappoose, Oregon!*
My dream about the television writers' strike.
A fun gentlemen's club.
Is the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue porn?*
A question about No Country for Old Men.
Dawn Wells arrested with marijuana!*
Hope for large-breasted women!*
Ian Ziering as Cortés.
My new favorite sport.
Raquel Welch's birthday.*
Copping a feel!
Every kid plays video games.
John McCain as an old Batman.
The Dark Knight and its impact.
The Japanese have an ambassador to promote anime.

LINK-BLOGGING.

Congressional idiocy, right-wing idiots, pole dancing for kids, and hot grade school teachers.*
George Bush slapping ass, Craig Sager, singing Muppets.

GREAT SONGS, ACCORDING TO ME.

Part 34: "Little Guitars" to "Love Buzz."
Part 35: "Love Removal Machine" to "Many Too Many."
Part 36: "Mean Street" to "Monday A.M. First Thing."
Part 37: "Monkey Wrench" to "My Country."
Part 38: "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)" to "Next to You."

MY KOOKY LIFE.

Did Krys break her foot?
Did Krys break her foot? Part Two!
What happens in Arizona when it rains.
At the book sale!
Living in Beirut.
People who annoy me at the ballet.
Should my wife divorce me?
We get fake grass.
Our journey to Pennsylvania.

PEOPLE WHO DIED.

Mr. Whipple.
Suzanne Pleshette.
Heath Ledger.
Arthur C. Clarke (and Ivan Dixon).
Edward Lorenz.

NEWS OF THE WORLD.

Americans are reading less than ever.
Hot Italians giving weather reports!*
Independence for Kosovo!
Weird news from Venezuela and Nigeria.
Racism in South Carolina.
Did they find D. B. Cooper's parachute?
Anger about a vodka advertisement.
Wacky events in the Congo.
A girl and her embryonic twin.
Arizona kids who shouldn't have graduated, but did.
Bike tragedy!
More of civilization circling the drain.
Have Americans lost their sense of humor?
Is stripping the world's oldest art form?
Naked protesting.
Julia Child: spy!
Minorities will soon be the majority.
Raising a nation of wusses.
No room for moderation in politics.
The Large Hadron Collider is turned on.

PEOPLE WHO NEED TO SHUT UP.

Conservative talk show radio hosts.
Alicia Keys.
Megan Fox.*

TOP TEN LISTS.

My favorite television theme songs.
My favorite NFL (and AFL) Championship Games.
My favorite wars.
My favorite Christian sects.
My favorite fictional detectives.
My favorite hair metal videos.
My favorite science fiction novels.
My favorite celebrity crushes.
My favorite vacations.
My favorite empires.

PICTURE DAYS.

Snow-shoe hiking near Mount Hood.
Silver Falls State Park.
Downtown Portland - in black and white!
Our house in Portland.
In the mountains with my wife and sister-in-law.
The Chinese garden in Portland.
Waterfalls in the Columbia Gorge.
Vancouver, British Columbia, Part One.
Vancouver, British Columbia, Part Two.
Spring in the Basin.
I receive a Master's Degree.
Our final visit to Seattle.

INTO THE BACK ISSUE BOX.

Green Lantern and Adam Strange #1.
The Incredible Hulk #301.
World's Finest #283.
Silver Sable and the Wild Pack #25.
Namor the Sub-Mariner Annual #2.
John Jakes' Mullkon Empire #2.
Ka-Zar #14.

COMICS REVIEWS.

The Simping Detective, Shortcomings, Cairo, The Goon: Chinatown and the Mystery of Mr. Wicker, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Blakc Dossier.
The Ice Wanderer and Other Stories.
Popgun volume 1, Of Scenes and Stories, Munden's Bar.
I read Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life.
Midnight Sun, Therefore Repent!, The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery System (volume 1), Scout, The Interman, Houdini, The Handcuff King, Berlin: City of Stones.
Hazed, Candy or Medicine, The Unwanted, That Salty Air, Jenny Finn: Doom Messiah, Holmes, Cinema Panopticum, 2 Sisters.
Nixon's Pals, The Facts in the Case of the Departure of Miss Finch, Three Shadows, Breathe.
Skyscrapers of the Midwest, La Perdida, The Dopple Ganger Chronicles: The First Escape, American Terror: Confessions of a Human Smart Bomb, The Safest Place.
Lost at Sea, Vampspew, Bluesman, Tiki Joe Mysteries, Antiques: The Comic Strip.
Nobody, White Death, Codeflesh, Monster Attack Network, Aces: Curse of the Red Baron, Dugout.
"Essex County" trilogy, Too Cool to be Forgotten, The Goddess of War, The Amazing Remarkable Monsieur Leotard, Wondermark: Beards of Our Forefathers.

COMIC BOOK COMMENTARY.

What are "fun" comics?
The "best-of" edition of Wizard magazine, 2007.
Why I review comics.
Wonder Woman on the cover of Playboy.*
My best comics of 2007.
Wonder Woman in the Sixties.
Wizard magazine from October 1992.
My revelation regarding Secret Invasion.
Issue #200 of Wizard magazine.
Free Comic Book Day in Mesa.
My top ten runs in comic book history.
The price of comics.
Confessions of a comic book nerd.
Is Green Lantern: Rebirth a good comic or not?
My experience at the San Diego Comic Convention.
Is DC publishing torture porn?

COMICS YOU SHOULD OWN.

Fury by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson.
Grendel #1-12 by Matt Wagner and the Pander Brothers.
Grendel #13-23 by Matt Wagner, Bernie Mireault, Hannibal King, and Tim Sale.
Grendel #24-33 by Matt Wagner, John K. Snyder, and Jay Geldhof.
Grendel #34-50 by Matt Wagner, Tim Sale, and Patrick McEown.
Hard Boiled by Frank Miller and Geof Darrow.
Hard Time by Steve Gerber and Brian Hurtt.
The Heckler by Keith Giffen, Tom Bierbaum, and Mary Bierbaum.
Hellblazer #27 by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean.
Hellblazer #41-50; 52-83 by Garth Ennis, Will Simpson, and Steve Dillon.
Spider-Man #1-5 by Todd McFarlane (this is an April Fools' Joke, by the way).

Thanks again for reading. Blogging is fun, isn't it?

* Denotes cheesecake in the post! Beware!