Sex makes people weird

Yes, it's quite the revelation! Sex is bizarre, in all its glorious forms! Let's go to the videotape (okay, not really, because that would be oogy, but just work with me):

In Michigan, a man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash. The article, unfortunately, doesn't go into much more detail. We need details, damn it!

Maybe that guy should enter the ... Sex Olympics! I found the link here. That first link is not exactly safe for work (the front page features crude Keith Haring-type drawings in various positions), but you kind of have to root around for the really naughty bits. Basically, next August on the Gold Coast of Queensland (as decadent a place as any, I guess), you can join the Sex Olympics and help determine, well, the world's greatest fucker. Now that's good stuff!

That guy with the vacuum might win a medal or two. Someone should tell him about it!