Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


What have we learned - Week 5

A combination of factors kept me from watching a lot of football this week, so I'm not really sure what I've learned, except that I can't figure out what's wrong with the Eagles. I honestly don't know. They have too much talent to be choking away games like this. On the plus side, the Phillies won a postseason series, the Cubs lost one (I'm one of those people who hopes the Cubs never - I mean never - win another World Series), and Penn State didn't squander a chance for a road win. But this will still be short, because I really don't know much of what happened in the world of football this weekend, except that Sage Rosenfels is very stupid.

Penn State easily handled Purdue on Saturday, and even though I would have liked the margin of victory to be a bit larger - 20-6 is comfortable but not encouraging - they got the job done. Now come the hard part of their schedule - at Wisconsin, Michigan at home, and at Ohio State. Man, that's tough. Especially with Ohio State, who beat the Badgers in Madison, looking tough now that Chris Wells is back and Terrelle Pryor is their quarterback. Vanderbilt continues to impress, as they beat the offensively-challenged Auburn to remain undefeated. Auburn doesn't look as good as people thought, but it's still astonishing that the Commodores are 5-0. Out West, Oregon had the misfortune of playing USC after the Trojans lost, while Arizona State continued to prove that they cannot beat decent teams on the road. Cal isn't great, but they beat up on the Sun Devils. Down in Tucson, the Wildcats of Arizona throttled an awful Washington team, but they're still 4-1. Unfortunately, Notre Dame is 4-1 too, but maybe this will mean they get ranked high so they can get humiliated in a big bowl game ... again! Wouldn't that be nice?

Washington 23, Philadelphia 17. Goddamn. The Eagles took the opening kickoff 80 yards for a touchdown, and the offense could only get a field goal after that. DeSean Jackson returned a punt for a touchdown on which the Eagles committed a penalty that, inexplicably, wasn't called. The Eagles once again had short yardage for a touchdown in the fourth quarter, and again, Andy Reid ran the ball. Shit. Given that the Eagles only ran the ball 18 times, maybe that was a mistake. I don't know what the hell's going on. Something is rotten in Philadelphia, and I don't know what it is. Washington isn't that good.
DeSean Jackson update! 1 catch for 8 yards, 2 rushes for 13 yards (that's not good, when he has more rushes than catches), 1 punt return for 68 yards and a touchdown. On the season: 5 rushes for 49 yards, 23 catches for 335 yards, 17 punt returns for 225 yards.
Turnovers: Washington 0, Eagles 0. Turnovers = loss? It's a wash. At least the Eagles didn't give the game away.

Chicago 34, Detroit 7. I didn't watch any of this game. Matt Millen's influence will be felt in Detroit for a looooong time.
Turnovers: Lions 2, Da Bears 1. Turnovers = loss? Sure, why not? 1-0.

Atlanta 27, Green Bay 24. I missed this as well. I guess Matt Ryan is pretty good, eh? And this is why the Packers should have kept R. C. Favre. They weren't going to be as good as they were last year, and now, Aaron Rodgers will get killed by the press. If R. C. was still there, they could suffer through this year, get rid of him, and give Rodgers a team that has no expectations. But I don't know anything, do I?
Turnovers: Falcons 1, Packers 1. Turnovers = loss? Another wash.

Miami 17, San Diego 10. Is Miami any good? Are the Chargers bad? Should any West Coast teams play on the East at what, for them, is 10 a.m.? Ask the Seahawks!
Turnovers: Dolphins 1, Chargers 0. Turnovers = loss? I guess not. 1-1

New York Giants 44, Seattle 6. See? Did the Seahawks want to play that game at 10 a.m.? This is an odd problem, because it doesn't affect East Coast teams going west - they often play games on the East Coast at 4 p.m., so playing at 1 in the West is the same thing. Of course, it could have to do with the fact that the Giants are really good. I heard Jon Ritchie on ESPN last week saying that Plaxico Burress was faking his injury last year so he wouldn't have to practice. I mention this because in the newspaper yesterday, a writer lauded Burress for his courageous 2007 season. Burress is a tool, by the way. I'm kind of glad the Giants won so handily without him.
Turnovers: Seahawks 1, Giants 0. Turnovers = loss? Probably not, but the stats don't lie! 2-1.

Carolina 34, Kansas City 0. Did anyone outside of Charlotte watch this game? You can't take anything about the Panthers from this, because I think the Chiefs are a Division II football team.
Turnovers: Chiefs 3, Panthers 2. Turnovers = loss? Again, probably not, but the stats still don't lie! 3-1.

Tennessee 13, Baltimore 10. How are the Titans 5-0? Can anyone explain that? The Ravens got shafted on a totally bogus roughing the passer call, by the way, that led to the winning touchdown. Terrell Suggs will get fined for whining about it, but he has a point.
Turnovers: Titans 2, Ravens 2. Turnovers = loss? Another wash.

Indianapolis 31, Houston 27. Man, the Texans have to be sick today. Sage Rosenfels has to be sick. Why would he do that? In case you haven't seen it, on 3rd-and-8 with a little over 3 minutes left and the Texans winning 27-17, Rosenfels ran the ball on a bootleg. Okay, not the worst call in the world. He wouldn't have made the first down, so he decided to jump for it. Three Colts nailed him about five feet off the ground, and he fumbled, which was returned for a touchdown. Then he fumbled again trying to pass on 3rd-and-5, which led to the game-winning touchdown. God, that has to suck. The Colts aren't that good, because they should have beaten Houston much more easily than that. They were losing 27-10 with 4 minutes left, for crying out loud!
Turnovers: Texans 3, Colts 1. Turnovers = loss? Definitely. 4-1.

Denver 16, Tampa 13. Wow, the Broncos played some defense. Good for them!
Turnovers: Buccaneers 1, Broncos 1. Turnovers = loss? Yet another wash.

Dallas 31, Cincinnati 22. Did anyone hear Terrell Owens talking about God after the game? Gadzooks, what a tool. The Cowboys, by the way, had to hold on at home against the Bengals. THE BENGALS! I have a feeling that the Cowboys will take a playoff spot from a more worthy team (like, say, the Eagles) and then tank in the postseason once more. I'm sure I'm correct, and that pisses me off.
Turnovers: Bengals 2, Cowboys 2. Turnovers = loss? Sheesh! Another wash.

Arizona 41, Buffalo 17. The Cardinals will probably go 9-7. They have one road win, and they don't look like they'll get another, and they seem unbeatable at home. Dallas comes to town next week, and they better watch out for Arizona. When Ken Whisenhunt lets Kurt Warner chuck it all over the field, they're fun to watch. They're not a great team, but they're an interesting team! And the Bills lost, but their quarterback got knocked out on the third play. That's tough.
Turnovers: Bills 4, Cardinals 0. Turnovers = loss? Hey, look! if you don't turn the ball over, you win! 5-1.

New England 30, San Francisco 21. I didn't watch this game, either. I wish the 49ers had won, because then they might be overconfident for the Eagles game next week. Now they'll probably beat Philadelphia, and I'll be sad.
Turnovers: 49ers 3, Cheaters 2. Turnovers = loss? Looks that way! 6-1.

Pittsburgh 26, Jacksonville 21. So I guess Ben Roethlisberger is a big tough guy. Good for him!
Turnovers: Steelers 1, Jaguars 0. Turnovers = loss? Nein! 6-2.

Minnesota 30, New Orleans 27. Well, I guess I should have watched this game, because it seems like it was a good game. I like how the Saints outgained the Vikings by 100 yards, but they lost. Why? See below!
Turnovers: Saints 4, Vikings 0. Turnovers = loss? Of course! 7-2.

Yes, that means the teams that turn the ball over fewer times than their opponents are now 43-11. Shocking!

Tennessee: 8 turnovers +6 margin, 5-0 record.
Washington: 1 turnover, +6 margin, 4-1 record.
San Diego: 5 turnovers, +4 margin, 2-3 record.
Pittsburgh: 5 turnovers, +3 margin, 4-1 record.
Philadelphia: 6 turnovers, +3 margin, 2-3 record.
Green Bay: 7 turnovers, +3 margin, 2-3 record.
Atlanta: 4 turnovers, +2 margin, 3-2 record.
New York Jets: 7 turnovers, +2 margin, 2-2 record.
Minnesota: 7 turnovers +2 margin, 2-3 record.
New York Giants: 1 turnover, +1 margin, 4-0 record.
Carolina: 6 turnovers, +1 margin, 4-1 record.
Arizona: 9 turnovers, +1 margin, 3-2 record.
Chicago: 9 turnovers, +1 margin, 3-2 record.
Miami: 2 turnovers, +1 margin, 2-2 record.
Baltimore: 7 turnovers, +1 margin, 2-2 record.
Oakland: 6 turnovers, +1 margin, 1-3 record.
Cleveland: 7 turnovers, +1 margin, 1-3 record.
Kansas City: 10 turnovers, +1 margin, 1-4 record.
Tampa: 10 turnovers, +0 margin, 3-2 record.
Jacksonville: 6 turnovers, +0 margin, 2-3 record.
New England: 6 turnovers, -1 margin, 3-1 record.
Indianapolis: 6 turnovers, -1 margin, 2-2 record.
Buffalo: 9 turnovers, -2 margin, 4-1 record.
Denver: 8 turnovers, -3 margin, 4-1 record.
San Francisco: 12 turnovers, -3 margin, 2-3 record.
St. Louis: 5 turnovers, -3 margin, 0-4 record.
Dallas: 8 turnovers, -4 margin, 4-1 record.
New Orleans: 11 turnovers, -4 margin, 2-3 record.
Seattle: 7 turnovers, -4 margin, 1-3 record.
Cincinnati: 11 turnovers, -4 margin, 0-5 record.
Houston: 9 turnovers, -5 margin, 0-4 record.
Detroit: 8 turnovers, -6 margin, 0-4 record.

Sorry for the poor analysis this week! I'll probably be watching more next week, depending on when the Phillies are on and how well the wife is. We'll see!

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