Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


Contest winners!

I have been lax about announcing the winners of my contest, but now the time has come. Especially as Krys got paid today, so we have money!

The winner of the graphic novel Superman: It's a Bird ... is Josh Barney. He wrote about his grandfather:
Cheesy as it may sound, my perfect superhero is my late grandfather. He regularly performed superhuman feats, and lived his life with grace and charm. He was supposed to have died in his 40s - that's what the doctors said - but he simply refused to do so. Instead, he kept going well into his 80s, even surviving being hit by a car while driving his tractor. That was when he was in his 70s, and it wasn't long before he was back out plowing the fields. Along the way, he dressed immaculately, treated others with dignity and did a lot of good. He helped a lot of people, like a superhero should, but you wouldn't have known it by talking to him. He might as well have been Clark Kent that way.

I'll never be the man he was, but he gave me something to aspire to.

Definitely not cheesy, Josh. Totally excellent! Nik wrote a very cool entry about his child, something I can definitely relate to, and Astrid's perfect superhero is Peter Pan, which fits perfectly with Astrid's blog, but I was feeling sentimental and I just thought Josh's entry was nicer. Congratulations, Josh!

Tales from Fish Camp, the hilarious book by Danielle Henderson, goes to Roger Green, who wrote about his horrible job here. I chose his entry because I had a similar job once long ago and I can relate.

Finally, Gordon won the copy of the book America: The Book by Jon Stewart and the madmen behind The Daily Show. Gordon gave these five reasons why America is awesome:
1. WE'RE MEAT EATERS - We're carnivores and damn proud of it, man. We're not into wussy fish-and-chips like the British, or fish and rice like the Japanese. If it's on four legs and doesn't eat Purina, it's fair game. I mean, a country where Hardee's can advertise a "Monster Thickburger" made from Shetland ponies that could lead to a heart attack within three bites - that says America to me.
2. THE INALIENABLE RIGHT TO BE AN IDIOT - only in America can a couch-jumping actor who believes he's reincarnated from space aliens denounce the mental health industry. I mean, let's face it, everyone has an opinion - I could announce that "Mesa, Arizona is a toxic waste dump", and if someone argues - that's their tough luck. I have a right to my opinion, and that's what matters. (By the way, the only place I know that qualifies as a "toxic waste dump" is Berwyn, Illinois).
3. CELEBRITIES - no, we don't have royalty, but in America, we have the next best thing - people known primarily for doing stupid things. I mean, without celebrities, Paris Hilton and Tom Arnold would have no positive career plans. They remind us that, although they may get more press, we actually are better than celebrities. That makes this country great in my opinion.
4. PROFANITY, FUCK YEAH! - Other countries worry about us being course and vulgar, but that's because they are all a bunch of wussies. We have no problem being direct - I mean, our President's last name is slang for female genitalia. How much more American can you get? Profanity is an American way of saying, "the world ain't perfect, monkey boy, so deal." Sure, some people hate the fact that we're becoming profane, but let's face it - would South Park work with British accents? Don't think so. And people who are worried about swear words - take your head out of your posterior and get some air.
5. THE U.S. CONSTITUTION - Ok, it's not a perfect document, and it's rather old, but you know what? I don't see any new democracies saying, "Hey, let's adapt the Magna Carta." No Congressman has ever said, "Screw the Constitution - let's go back to the Articles of Confederation." The fact that, in two hundred-some years we've only amended it 27 times says something. It's a living document, cha-cha. America rules. Belgium - go choke on your waffles.

Gordon can obviously handle the page with the naked Supreme Court justices (a bit out of date now, certainly), and he should really dig this book.

Thanks to everyone who participated. I'll do it again at some point - maybe Christmas. Who knows? Life is always unpredictable here on the blog!


Post a Comment

<< Home