Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


Resegregating schools, evil feminists, book banning, my stripper song, what David Bowie thinks of you, and a new religion - all in the links!

Well, it's been a week in which I was able to cruise this wild and wacky world we call the Web, and I thought I would bring you all the goofiness I can stand and let you waste more hours on the computer than you really should. Before we begin, however, make sure you all go ask Kait how her dissertation is going. I'm totally envious of Kait - she is studying at Oxford and becoming a doctor. Here I am raising two kids like a sucker!

Moving on, we'll start with the serious stuff and slowly get weirder. Although politics, I suppose, is weird enough.


The latest issue of Rolling Stone asks the question: Is George Bush the worst president ever? It's a pretty interesting read. I found the link at Shakespeare's Sister.

Wow. The Republicans are blatantly lying to Hispanic voters. Interesting. Why would they lie so obviously? Do they think Hispanics are that stupid?

Here's a story about a black state senator from Nebraska who wants to resegregate the schools in Omaha. Interesting. Well, if the various races never came in contact with each other, there'd be no racism, right???? I got this from Donklephant.

Speaking of racism, white kids are threatened by other kids - presumably black, but the article doesn't say - and the school district does nothing. I hate to sound like a right-wing crazy, but shouldn't we fight against racism in ANY form? It's never going to get better unless we're willing to call out any racist activity. I read this at Rhymes with Right, a conservative blog I don't read but was led to by Donklephant.

In the wake of the arrests of two Duke lacrosse players (and yes, they are innocent until proven guilty, so I'm not going to comment on it), we get yet another person blaming the obvious reason that women get raped: feminism. Ah, it's all so clear now! I got this from Echidne of the Snakes.

It's been a while since Harry Potter was cited as the cause of why everything in America is going straight to hell, so let's get it fired up again: A woman in Georgia wants them out of the public school library because they're destroying the youth of America! She hasn't, of course, read them. And a 10-year-old girl faxed a letter supporting the books to the school board, saying something interesting: "Never at any time did I think the books were true." Wow - kids can tell the difference between fiction and reality? Shocking! I got this fun nugget at Homo Sum.

And because censorship is all-American, a quite graphic book about manga has been banned from a public library. Charming. Instead of shelving it in the adult section, it just gets banned. This is from Dave Ex Machina, although I've seen it elsewhere too.

Here's an interesting post about how the media hated Al Gore and cost him the election. Lance makes the point that they still don't like Gore, even after they've seen what denying him the presidency illegally has done to the country.

Nuclear energy is excellent! It's pretty interesting. We have one incident twenty-five years ago that showed how well the security precautions worked, and we stopped building reactors. Strange.

Well, isn't this nice: Atheists are denied from holding public office according to several state constitutions. How fun. Good to see we don't force people to worship God or anything. I got this at Respectful Insolence.

This is kind of sad: People are using sex offender lists to find people to kill. Look, sex offenders are vile and disgusting people, but using the registries as a hit list? That might be even worse. Good thing we're protecting the children by allowing them to be killed.

Is the United States turning into the Soviet Union? Hmmm.

We all know about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, right? It's the symbol of those who think intelligent design is a bunch of hogwash - why not teach that the universe was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Well, now comes news that a picture of the Flying Spaghetti Monster hanging in a Kansas school has offended a school board member. Can't have people mocking your unscientific and superstitious biological classes, can you??? I saw this at Shakespeare's Sister.

This is an interesting story about medical studies of marijuana and how the FDA doesn't want to hear about it. It's kind of sad how everything is influenced by politics and what people perceive about a topic rather than facts. Oh well.

Speaking of which, it's a good thing the criminal justice system isn't racist and classist, isn't it?


These are interesting pictures. They're not safe for work, but they're not too bad. More interesting than outrightly pornographic. I found this at 2 Blowhards.

Exactly what is being implied here?

I found the picture at The Great Motorcycle Pizza Tour by way of Dancing the Polka with Miss El Cajon. Actually, that second link has a great conversation between Chris Cope's brother and a Nebraska State Patrolman. Very funny.

Some interesting thoughts about how women are portrayed in advertising (in women's magazines, mind you, which I've often talked about, because they're so sexualized in magazines not marketed to men), with a link to an essay about the ways women pose in ads.

I found this at Republic of Replicants:
Your Stripper Song Is

Closer by Nine Inch Nails

"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I?ve got no
Soul to tell"

When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

Thomas discovers something in his pants.

Sarcasmo comes up with her own swear words.

Gaze ... gaze upon the scantily-clad hotties ... You must ... gaze ...

Okay, now that you've done that, I can sell you something and probably rip you off. Yes, the sight of an attractive woman will affect a man's judgment. Shocking, I know. More here and here (which is from where I stole the picture).

Just read the headline. I bet Laura's happy. This is from Shakespeare's Sister.


Killer Moth's tools for stopping Batman! They include:


Jake breaks down a comic book called, I kid you not, The Cross and the Switchblade. It includes this awesome panel:

Nicky is awfully full of himself, isn't he?


Laura Bush scares the children at the White House Easter Egg Hunt. Tom Peyer brings it to us and gets mean and nasty comments from conservatives.

You know what? David Bowie judges you! And so does he. I got this from Blah Blah Flowers.

As I surfed around, at Clew's Blues I found a link to You Drunk As Hell: pictures of drunk people with funny captions. Awesome. Like, for instance:

"When the front door is just too fucking far."

From Drink at Work, we get the actual front page of Friday's New York Post:

How can you not love the New York Post?

Help fight the War on Horror! A sample:
"Immediately following the clearing of the body which was notable for its complete transformation back to its human state, a bi-partisan bill entiteled the Freedom of Inquisition Act was hastily drawn up and passed nearly unanimously in both houses, minus three forced abstentions. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Edward Markey (D-MA), and Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) were arrested moments prior to voting and tested on-site for their suspected vampirism by having wooden spikes thrust through their hearts. Federal coroners confirmed that the corpses did not disintegrate into infernal ash, but stated that the politicians' not surviving was evidence enough of their [former] undead status."
There are posters, too!

It's the first picture of Suri Cruise! Be afraid ... be very afraid. It will rule us all soon!

Reasons to change the channel.

From Slactivist we get a handy reference to help you find out if this week's episode of Lost is a rerun.

Haiku about movie characters. Succinct and spot-on.

I can't remember where I found this, so if it was you, sorry for not giving you credit: The New Adventures of Queen Victoria. Damn it's funny.

I found something at Dave Barry's blog. I don't want to ruin it for you. Just check it out.

Bwah-ha-ha. I found it here, but he found it here.

This is a funny story: A man discovers a gift fruit cake from 1962. And in perfect condition!

Tom Peyer linked to this somewhat old but very funny post about, well, it has something to do with this:

That post led me to a follow-up post, which is also funny, but it had a link that I don't think is fake and is definitely not safe for work, but is weird because I haven't heard anything about it, and the person is famous enough that I thought I would have. I'm not going to post it because I have some decorum, but you can go check it out! Anyway, the original posts are very funny.

Here's a letter to this guy's (fictional) ten-year-old son explaining puberty. He has a good reason for writing it, trust me.

Lyle shows us a web page listing all the great things about marriage. Not what the authors intended, probably.

Horrible news segues, courtesy of local anchorman Clive Rutledge.


An Oregon man complains of a headache, and doctors discover 12 nails in his head. He survived, by the way.

T. points out some new jewelry:

You see, that's a living cockroach. On that woman's hand. Oh dear. The story about it is here. And you can of course buy it here.

Did this poisoned wife predict her own death? If so, what an awful story. Red Hot Mamma has some thoughts.


I read about a couple of cool sites on Catallarchy: NationMaster and StateMaster. On these sites you can find all kinds of statistics about world nations and American states. From them I discovered that the largest city in Lesotho is Maseru, you're more likely to fall from a cliff in Austria than anyplace else, and Arizona has the second-highest student-to-teacher ratio in the country. I could spend a lot of time at these sites, let me tell you.

More schools are eliminating recess. Sad. I've said it before - kids need recess. It burns off excess energy and makes them less obese!

How we would look if we were designed intelligently. This is from the Anti-Corporate Patriot.

Roger has found a list of words we all need to know: animal adjectives. Don't say Bush is quite like a weasel - say he's "musteline." Impress your friends!

In case you're interested, here's some interesting stuff about the Gospel of Judas.

This is a neat post about whether Jesus actually existed.


Remember the sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth? Sure you do! What Would Tyler Durden Do? gives us the other view - from the back! I'm not about to put the picture up here, but you can check it out here. It's really not that bad, just ... bizarre.

What the hell is this?

Yes, it's a Kate Moss yoga sculpture!


Here's a fun story: The police arrested a carpenter who likes to work naked. A homeowner came home early and found him in the buff. Man, these people cracking down on the nude carpenters! What would that most holy of all carpenters say? I bet he worked in the nude, too.

On 19 April 1927, Mae West was jailed and fined for putting on a play that "tended to corrupt public morals." I don't believe in censorship, but can't we level some of that olde-tyme morality at, say, Paris Hilton? I found the site at Historic True Crime Blog.

You're dying to buy this book:

Actually, now that I know it exists, I'm dying to buy this book. I found it at an older post on The Columnist Manifesto.

Here's a list of the 50 Worst Albums Ever. Unlike the list of the best albums, I'm not going to comment, but I do own two of them - To The Faithful Departed by The Cranberries (which certainly isn't great, but it's not rip-out-your-eardrums awful) and Midnite Vultures by Beck, which is a very good album and its inclusion on this list makes it all very suspect.

Well, this is weird: Swedish authorities found a man floating on a raft in the Baltic Sea and they can't figure out who he is. The guy is talking, either. Bizarre.


There is a Goat. There is a Pole. The Goat is on the Pole. I found this at Dave Ex Machina.

So that's all for this week. I hope you enjoy wasting your time as much I enjoyed wasting mine! It's the American Way, after all!

¹ Sorry, I just couldn't think of any good quotes to encapsulate the miscellany.

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Blogger Chance said...

Hey, I own that Cross and Switchblade comic! it's funny!

23/4/06 12:34 AM  
Blogger Thomas said...

I missed the really long posts, Greg.

23/4/06 12:52 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

I'm worried about you because you own that, Chance.

I try to do long linking posts, Thomas, but you know that real life intrudes sometimes. Happy Belated Birthday, by the way.

23/4/06 8:59 AM  
Blogger Roxy said...

sometimes i worry about you burgas...

26/4/06 9:09 PM  

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