Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


Spanning the Internet to bring you the constant variety of crap!

Last Sunday I skipped showing you some good stuff on the web. But I'm back from the dead (whoops, is that blasphemous, since it's the Big Day on the Christian Calendar?), and ready to take you on a tour of the wackiness that is the Internet!

First, I must (wait for it) pimp my Scurvy Dogs giveaway contest! You have only until Thursday to enter. The tension is palpable! More out-of-context humor: "I thought you said the Bay City Rollers were the voice of your people." It's comedy gold!

My sister doesn't read my blog, and it makes me sad. She claims she doesn't have enough time, what with the two kids and all. E-mail her and tell her that she's ruining my self-esteem. Be nice - she's very sensitive! (Yes, I'm evil. She never reads her e-mail either, so I don't feel that bad.)

At the top of blog is a "Next Blog" button. This leads you to some weird places. One of the places I went to I'm not going to link to because I don't want the guy to get any traffic - I want him to shrivel up and die, actually. Here's an actual quote from his blog in response to a company teaming up with Bono (of U2 and self-promotion fame) to bring the Internet to Africa: "What a friggin joke. Do they really think they'll be able to wire up all the grass huts or that the negroes will stop swinging from trees long enough to even try to fathom what the internet is? This is a colossal waste of time and money. AMD stock holders ought to riot over this." Yes, that's what he said. It's not the only horrible thing on his blog. Now, we can disagree on politics and religion and all sorts of things - this is America, and that's what it's here for. But this ... I don't advocate hunting this guy down and killing him, because it's his right to be an ignorant asshole, but the sad fact is that there a lot of people in this country who feel this way. Despicable.

Moving on to nicer topics, the Disgruntled Chemist links to tales of rectal foreign bodies (Ewwww!), a cyclops baby in a jar (only in Russia!), and lots of weird medical stories. It makes you appreciate your health all the more and not worry about that random ingrown hair you might get.

A lot of people have already linked to Funky Winkerbean and its story of the comic book retailer who gets arrested for selling an adult comic book to an, uh, adult. The story starts here and goes for a couple of weeks. They've moved on to something else now. It's in the "funny" pages, but stuff like this happens in real life. Only in Bush's America!

It's a random haiku generator!

Merlin has lists of five things. Most of them are funny, and some are really, really funny ("Five things I fear I might do if I were a ten-foot-tall monster with metal claws, laser beam eyes, and razor-sharp fangs").

Thomas's blog is very funny.

These people want Condoleeza Rice to run for president in 2008. Why should you support that? Well, you shouldn't, but you must listen to the theme song! Go to the site and click on the button along the left on which is written, "The Song: Condoleeza Will Lead Us." I swear, you won't be able to sleep well for a week. The horror ... the horror. (I saw this on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart last week. Why aren't you watching that show?)

Lego Watchmen characters. Man, those are cool!

I keep linking to McSweeney's because it's always good. If you scroll down a little you'll find "Implausible Claims Made by Vanilla Ice in His 1990 No. 1 Hit 'Ice Ice Baby.'" Classic!

Captain Corey pats himself on the back - but he has reason, because the werewolf fireman picture is excellent.

Chris Brown links to this article about comics journalism. Interesting stuff.

Leave a haiku comment at The Comics Curmudgeon! It's fun! (Mine's in there somewhere, but it's not that good.)

For those of you who need all my insights into comics: remember, I'm doing that here these days!

Bad Reporter. Funny.

Republicans are desperate to save white person Terry Schiavo, but black babies are fair game, apparently. The crucial sentence in this article: "Texas law allows hospitals to discontinue life-sustaining care, even if a patient's family members disagree." Who signed that law? None other than George W. Bush. "Culture of life," my ass, Mr. President.

DougBot has an interesting take on why we blog.

John Ostrander has a new post up (it's about time!). It's about a Ten Commandments monument in Texas. You may not know its history, but it's funny.

Silver Crane Spear Burgas. That's my kung fu name. Courtesy of Knotty Yarn. (Krys's is Stone Arm, because she's obviously tougher than I.)

Wesley Clark has a new site. He's not running for president, he's taking back America.

Two very interesting stories about Tom DeLay, from an avowed conservative.

I just love the headline of this article: Sales Drop at Wendy's After Finger Found. Ya think?

There's a blog about how great tacos are. It just started - get in on the ground floor!

Someone is offended by "Family Circus".

For DC Comics geeks, this is pretty interesting.

Will Pfeifer tells us why the new "Herbie the Love Bug" movie will suck. The funniest part of the post is that he reminds us where Volkswagen bugs came from in the first place.

Well, that's about it for this week. I hope you enjoy all my hard work!


Blogger N said...

Thanks for all the great Internet links. From the amusing to the scary --- this DeLay thing needs a lot more press -- you kno how to separate the wheat from the chaff. Interesting surfs all.

--'Iron Death Spear'

27/3/05 7:17 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Excellent, N, I mean Iron Death Spear. I hope to start a trend!

27/3/05 7:31 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

By the way, Iron Death Spear - excellent sea shanty!

27/3/05 7:35 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Thanks for the endorsement, Greg. Can I say I am on your good side now? I am just thinking about the day when you take over the world.

27/3/05 7:51 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

You better just stay on my good side, Thomas ... (cue ominous music)

28/3/05 8:35 AM  
Blogger Tim S said...

Thanks for the laughs and the educamational stuff as well. You're a linking machine.

(I was going to say "hotlinking," but I realized I don't know what that is.)

28/3/05 10:04 AM  
Blogger Roxy said...

I got a really lame kung fu name... Mantis Arm Mercurio...

what kind of crap is that?

31/3/05 9:43 AM  
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