Friday means football predictions!
Last week I was 9-5, meaning I'm 49-39 for the year. I haven't had that break-out week when I pick 11 or 12 right. Damn.
DALLAS (-9) 26, Arizona 14. The Cardinals on the road? The Cardinals on the road? If they were playing the Aggies of Delaware Valley College on the road, I might pick them. Might.
Washington (+2) 20, NEW YORK GIANTS 17. Tough game to pick. The Giants should be emotionally ready to win one for their dead owner, Wellington Mara, but I'm taking the Washingtonians. I hope they tie, actually. Can't they both lose?
CINCINNATI (-9) 35, Green Bay 27. Chad Johnson cracks me up. He said that the bad news is that Al Harris has to cover him, but the good news is he can save a bunch of money on insurance by switching to Geico. Now that's funny. The Bengals are good against crappy teams. The Pack, happily, is a crappy team.
DETROIT (-3) 17, Chicago 14. The Lions are at home, and Garcia is apparently the QB for them. Neither team is very good.
CAROLINA (-7.5) 24, Minnesota 10. The Vikings on the road are almost as crappy as the Cardinals on the road.
Oakland 24, TENNESSEE 20 (no line). Steve McNair will probably start. However, the Titans still aren't that good. It appears the Raiders might be starting to get it together. Especially if Lamont Jordan keeps running.
HOUSTON (-2) 21, Cleveland 13. I jumped on the Browns bandwagon last weekend and got burned. The Texans get their first win! Go, Houston - this makes up for sucking in the World Series, right?
NEW ORLEANS (-2) 27, Miami 20. The Dolphins are a better team, but I think the Saints get an emotional lift by playing in Louisiana. Enough of a lift to get the win.
ST. LOUIS 23, Jacksonville 20 (no line). Marc Bulger is questionable, but I think the Rams have figured out that Steven Jackson is a decent running back who can carry a team. If Martz were still coaching, I'd take the Jaguars and their defense, but I think the Rams win at home.
SAN DIEGO (-6.5) 20, Kansas City 16. LaDanian Tomlinson can't suck two weeks in a row, can he? The Chiefs don't have the Eagles defense. It's in San Diego, so the Chargers squeak out a win.
SAN FRANCISCO (+11) 24, Tampa 17. Yes, I'm picking the 49ers! I rule! The game is in San Francisco, and Ken Dorsey is starting. Ken Dorsey isn't much better than Alex Smith, but at least he's not a rookie. Tampa will probably win this game by 30 points, but if the 49ers pull the upset, I'll look like the genius we all know I am.
DENVER (-3.5) 24, Philadelphia 20. Once again, I'll be rooting against my pick. I desperately want the Eagles to win, and I think they have a great chance, but I think they'll come up a bit short. Stupid Eagles and their lack of a running game.
NEW ENGLAND (-9) 31, Buffalo 17. The Patriots win easily. Let us hope Bruschi doesn't play, because I seriously fear for his life.
PITTSBURGH (-10) 35, Baltimore 10 (Monday night). If the Steelers don't stomp the Ravens, I'll be stunned. This is a lousy game that once looked decent. Funny how the season works out.
There you have it. Any suggestions that I might not be quite sane are welcome.