What have we learned - Week 7

As you know, we didn't learn anything last week, because I did not watch football. Therefore, you were all in the dark about what you should know. So sad! But now I'm back, so knowledge can be imparted. Let's begin!

First, we have learned that Andy Reid should be fired. What, say you? He's the most successful coach in Philadelphia Eagles history? He has won the division title four years in a row (or is it three?) and taken his team to four straight conference title games and last year's Super Bowl? How can I call for his firing? Because he's a moron, that's why. The Eagles won yesterday's game despite the worst coaching job I have ever seen. Andy Reid is going to get his quarterback killed and his team is going to lose. They went for it with a little more than three minutes left in the game yesterday on 4th-and-1 from his own 30. I agreed with going for it, but the play call was a short pass over the middle to the fullback, who was covered by three defenders. It fell incomplete, naturally. Because the Eagles have no running game, San Diego knew they wouldn't run, and could cover everyone. Sweet Jeebus. They got so lucky to win that game. At one point they threw the ball 25 consecutive times. That's almost unbelievable, but I saw it happen. The Chargers didn't deserve to win, either, because for most of the game, they played like crap. At least the Philly defense appears to be back. They stuffed the best running back in the game. Excellent.

Speaking of teams that don't run, the Cardinals got an ugly win over the Titans, who are truly awful. David Macklin returned an interception for a touchdown. I like Macklin because he went to Penn State, but isn't it illegal for a player to hold up another? Somebody on the Cardinals grabbed Macklin's jersey and helped him regain his balance. It was pretty obvious, too. Why no penalty?

For a while, the Texans were in the game with the Colts. It was 14-14 at the half. Indianapolis, however, is like USC right now, especially against horrible teams like Houston. They simply ran them out of the building in the second half. Now the Colts' schedule gets difficult. They've been pounding Division II teams up until now.

I thought the Browns would pound the Lions. I really did. They didn't even score an offensive touchdown. I resisted the Cleveland bandwagon, and then I got on, and they lay an egg. I'm off it again! Bring on Charlie Frye!

We learned nothing from the San Francisco-Washington game except that the 49ers are really bad. Oh, wait a minute, we already knew that. That franchise is still paying for mistakes they made 10 years ago. It's a long road back, San Fran.

I think the Bengals got hosed on that first touchdown that was called back, but it was probably not going to help. Cincinnati is one of those teams that is taking baby steps - they have won games against teams they used to not beat, they have won games against teams they should beat, but they haven't yet beaten that team that stands in their way. Pittsburgh is that team, and they got rolled. They will have another chance against Indianapolis later this year.

Green Bay-Minnesota was a weird game. There's no way Green Bay should lose that game, but their defense remains suspect. As much as I hate Nancy-Boy Favre, he had a good game and threw some nice balls. The look on his face as the field goal went through the uprights: priceless.

Another instance in which a running game helps, even if it's not working: Shaun Alexander was getting nothing against the Cowboys (21 carries, 61 yards), but the Seahawks kept going to him. At the end of the game, Hasselbeck was able to play fake and find his receiver wide open in the end zone for the tying touchdown. If the Eagles run that play, nobody thinks they're going to run and it's a lot harder to complete the pass. And what the hell was Bledsoe thinking throwing that interception at the end of the game? What an imbecile. Parcells almost beat up one of his coaches, too, which is nice.

Look at that Chicago-Baltimore score. 10-6, Bears. Just like I predicted. Yes, I actually predicted a final score. I also said first team to 3 wins. The Bears scored a touchdown to make it 7-0, and they won. I am awesome. The game sucked, though.

Hey, Lamont Jordan can run the ball pretty well! Who would have thought? Andy Reid, see what happens when you run the ball? What the freakin' hell is wrong with you?

Finally, the Broncos pissed away a game they had in hand. Another good running game, but this one goes for naught because Denver played the dreaded "prevent" defense at the end. Morons. Eli Manning, as James Hasty pointed out this morning, didn't look that good. His receivers bailed him out. If I had Plaxico Burress, who's nine feet tall, to throw to, I'd fling it up there too. I'm mad because if Denver had won, they might have been overconfident next week at home against the Eagles. Now, they'll be pissed and whomp 'em. Stupid Broncos.

Penn State smoked a horrible Illinois team, scoring 56 points in the first half and setting a record for points in a half. They're still in good position to win the Big Ten, which is shocking. I was at Traffic Survival School all day Saturday (don't ask), so I missed most of the college football action, but I know that today Texas inexplicably jumped over USC into the #1 spot in the BCS standings. It doesn't really matter, since the top 2 teams play, but Texas is there solely because they beat a wildly overrated Texas Tech team on Saturday. Texas Tech was beating the snot out of teams like Sam Houston State. I understand that voters can't see every game, but if you're looking at the scores on Sunday morning, shouldn't you look at the opponents as well and think, "Well, yes, Texas Tech scored 77 points, but it was against Sam Houston State. I'm not voting for them." I guess voters are that stupid.

Anyway, that's the word from the weekend in football. Next week I will get two scores correct! Actually, probably not.