Delenda Est Carthago

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Name:
Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!

21.9.05

How do they take showers?

Because she's awesome, Krys was reading the newspaper today and actually read this article about a Mormon mission to Scottsdale. I skipped it because what the hell do I care? However, because I skipped it, I missed this wonderful nugget of trivia:

There is a no-swimming rule that stems in part from arcane beliefs that Satan rules the water ...

Mormons can't swim? WTF? Actually, that needs more than the shortened form. WHAT THE FUCK?

Mormons are excellent. Can anyone answer the question I posed in the title of this post, now that we know this about Mormons?

15 Comments:

Blogger Matthew said...

Don't you love religion?

22/9/05 3:43 AM  
Blogger The Disgruntled Chemist said...

Maybe they get in the shower, but put a Hefty bag over their body first, like you do when you've got a cast.

22/9/05 7:08 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

Yeah, Matthew, I should have written religion is excellent. Mormons are just a subset of excellentness.

I would love to get a picture of a Mormon in a full-body Hefty bag. That would be cool.

22/9/05 7:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, that raises an interesting question about Baptism.

22/9/05 7:48 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Dumb, dumb, dumb article. How could Mormons have ever held a belief that water is evil when they have always been proponents of full-submersion baptism? That's clearly an urban myth and prompted my first-ever "writing to reporter to point out what an idiot he is" experience.

(Who can spot the fact that all my in-laws are Mormons and my sister-in-law is presently on a mission?)

There are so many true weird things about the LDS church (they wouldn't allow blacks to hold priesthood until the U.S. government threatened to scrap the church's tax-free status, at which point God suddenly "clarified" that it was, in fact, OK), why make shit up?

22/9/05 1:15 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

That's interesting, Chris. I wonder if anyone will write to the paper to correct them. We have LOTS of Mormons here in AZ (Mesa was freakin' founded by them), so it's strange that they put that in there. They did say it was arcane. Perhaps it was a Joseph Smith belief that didn't quite make it into the canon?

22/9/05 3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I would love to get a picture of a Mormon in a full-body Hefty bag."

Hey, maybe that explains the special sacred undergarments they wear.

23/9/05 8:01 AM  
Blogger Krys said...

To clarify, the article was referring to swimming, so maybe it is just large bodies of water that are the realm of Satan.

They also mention that the rule is there because they don't want the Missionaries hanging around by the pool with girls in bathing suits.

It's the same logic Muslim extremeists use to have their women wear the burqua--seemingly men will just not be able to control themselves if they see scantily clad women. Just makes me want to say "Oh, grow up"!

23/9/05 11:06 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Krys -- In fairness to that rule, it applies only to missionaries (actually, I'm not even sure that part is true -- I have a sister-in-law who's on a mission; I'll have to ask her) who are usually 18- to 20-year-old males. I am 29 years old and I can imagine that it would be very hard (no pun intended) to focus on religion at a pool party. It's perhaps a bit extreme, but think of the trouble it saves -- think if the Catholic Church had similar restrictions for the interaction of priests and children.

23/9/05 12:33 PM  
Blogger Roxy said...

First and foremost, I'll take a pic of Kevin in a hefty bag and send it to you.

Secondly, as my dear husband explained, the "facts" in the article - such as water being a tool of the devil and that missionaries can't call home more than 2 times a year - are bunk.

Thirdly, anyone who knows me knows that I am SO not a Mormon (and even though I married one, I could be the anti-Mormon) and I am still tempted to write this journalist to say the spin on the article was ridiculous.

In conclusion, the Arizona Repulsive sucks.

24/9/05 9:01 AM  
Blogger john sweet said...

DAMMIT!!! I need the internet at home. I am so hopelessly behind... the fact that I read "LDS" as "LSD"... now there is a church I would be more than happy to attend!!! BRING ON THE BODY OF CHRIST!!!!

And, days later, it hardly makes a difference... alas.

Uncle Monster

28/9/05 8:55 AM  
Blogger Aries327 said...

I'm not sure you're aware of this, but Orson Scott Card is LDS. If you've read the Alvin Maker series, you've read something of the history of Joseph Smith.

And anyway, not all Mormons are missionaries. Missionaries choose to be on missions and follow the rules which are designed to keep them safe and focused on serving and teaching. -- a mission is not a vacation.

Mormons, in spite of how some ignorant people perceive them, are normal people.

28/9/05 1:11 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Is Alvin supposed to be Joseph Smith? I didn't know that. Fascinating. Great books. I knew Card is Mormon, and I like how he weaves his beliefs into his books without beating you over the head with them.

28/9/05 9:20 PM  
Blogger Aries327 said...

Yes, Alvin is supposed to be Joseph Smith. Smith had a brother named Alvin who died. The Alvin Maker series is an alternate history of the founding of the LDS religion. There are several differences, obviously, one of the prime differences being that Alvin's brother Calvin is jealous and hates him, while Joseph's brother Hyrum loved and supported Joseph.

What I love about that series is how Card incorporates real historical events into it, but skews them slightly. It makes me curious about the real life person, such as Andrew Jackson, Napoleon and so on.

I used to read all Card's books, but haven't been able to keep up. I'm still a fan and right now I have Stoker reading Speaker for the Dead.

28/9/05 11:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mormons swim, take showers, etc. While on a mission, missionaries are to stick to serving the people. Not self indulging in amusement. They are on a mission to serve the Lord and their fellow men/women. Whether in some remote jungle or down town NYC. I mean get real... Like any person who believes the Bible and studies it, would read and understand what is said in Rev. 8: 10 (8-11).

10 And the third angel sounded, and there afell a great star (Lucifer) from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters;

In the Bible that "fallen star" is widely known among the Christian world to be Lucifer or better known in the modern world as Satan or the Devil.

I live in the South, with a lot of Bible Belt Christians. There are also Mormons, Catholics, and Protestants, etc. Guess what, they all swim, take showers, play in the rain, sprinklers... Wake up oh ye of little minds! Lots of missionaries mormon and baptist alike do not swim on missions. This is in respect to serving and not self indulging while on a mission for their Lord.

15/6/08 12:22 AM  

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