Life will be so much more harmonious when I'm dictator!
Yesterday my lovely and talented wife was reading the newspaper, as she is wont to do (boy howdy she likes to keep up with all the news!), and she came across this story. It's a sad tale about how people named Katrina are thinking about changing their names because of the hurricane.
I'll repeat that: people named Katrina are thinking about changing their names because of the hurricane.
Take poor Katrina Smiley of Oklahoma City. She claims that people are coming up to her and saying "Why'd you do that? Why'd you go over there tearing up stuff like that?" People are saying that to her, who's, you know, a human being.
A researcher at Arkansas State University says that having a name associated with trauma can warp the personality of the person who bears that name. Of course, he's a researcher at Arkansas State University, so how seriously can we take him, but still. It's not like when Carla Tortelli's son was thinking of changing his name to Benito Mussolini. This is a freakin' hurricane, for crying out loud!
So. People who change their name because they are named after a hurricane: into the camps. People who actually ask a human being why she destroyed New Orleans simply because she is named Katrina: into the camps. And stupid psychologists who tell people that they might be scarred for life for having the name Katrina instead of telling them to grow up and grow a spine: into the camps.
Won't we all be happier when these people are shut away from society?
I'll repeat that: people named Katrina are thinking about changing their names because of the hurricane.
Take poor Katrina Smiley of Oklahoma City. She claims that people are coming up to her and saying "Why'd you do that? Why'd you go over there tearing up stuff like that?" People are saying that to her, who's, you know, a human being.
A researcher at Arkansas State University says that having a name associated with trauma can warp the personality of the person who bears that name. Of course, he's a researcher at Arkansas State University, so how seriously can we take him, but still. It's not like when Carla Tortelli's son was thinking of changing his name to Benito Mussolini. This is a freakin' hurricane, for crying out loud!
So. People who change their name because they are named after a hurricane: into the camps. People who actually ask a human being why she destroyed New Orleans simply because she is named Katrina: into the camps. And stupid psychologists who tell people that they might be scarred for life for having the name Katrina instead of telling them to grow up and grow a spine: into the camps.
Won't we all be happier when these people are shut away from society?
posted by Greg | 1:55 PM
7 Comments:
And it applies to dates, too. Moby's 35th birthday was 9/11/01, and, if memory served, noted that as not a great association, to say the least.
Hmmmm, if the research is in and it shows that people bearing the name "Katrina" shall be warped because they are associated now with the hurricane...
Please, if your name is Katrina and you are suffering any sort of post-traumatic stress disorder or depression due to asshats asking you things like, "Why did you have to do that to New Orleans?" then please call the law offices of A. Chaser and ASSociates. We will file a class-action lawsuit on your behalf and sue the living bejeezus out of those responsible for naming the hurricane after you...
Uncle Monster
This kind of thing is exactly why I had to change my name from Hitler Bin Laden.
Well, I know that I've been happier since changing my name from "Battle of Antietam."
What a pack of whiners. At least they weren't subjected to the rest of the kids on the schoolbus singing "Blame It On The Layne" at the top of their dirty little lungs.
Still hurts.
Damn you, Milli Vanilli!
You know I would have been one of those kids, Layne. Clever AND evil - oh, those wild scamps!
This is why I changed my name from "Kang the Conqueror". Although I must say I do miss the not waiting in line.
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