Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


What have we learned - Week 12

Michael Irvin was arrested on Friday. Good times. Maybe he should talk to his pastor about it. Or his, you know, lover. So sweet. Even if the drug paraphernalia wasn't his, what kind of moron keeps his friend's crap in his car? Moron.

Before I review this week's football games, The Ref is on AMC tonight. God, what a great movie it is. A classic. It should get more love from everyone. If you haven't seen it, go rent it now. Brilliant. It's one of those movies that get better each time you see it, kind of like Party Girl. Another classic. Movies are awesome.

All righty, due to some unforeseen circumstances, our day trip didn't go as planned, so I watched some games. Strange things afoot yesterday in the National ... Football ... League!

The Eagles survived one of the worst penalties I have ever seen. Brian Westbrook ran for over 100 yards, Mike McMahon didn't play poorly, and Nancy-Boy Favre did what he does - throw HORRIBLE passes that get intercepted. But with a little over a minute left, the Pack trailing by 5, he heaved a pass up that was, naturally, intercepted. League officials, upset that Favre was about to fall under .500 for the season, called the referees and told them to call a blatantly awful penalty. So they called roughing the passer. Favre was falling down, the pass was out less than a second, and the Eagle defender hit him on the chest with a forearm as they were both falling. Roughing the passer? Shit. Luckily enough Favre tossed a "real" interception a few plays later. I'm sorry, but that was possibly the worst call I've ever seen. Nice win for the Birds, anyway. It gives me a chance to link to this, which is a very funny rip on my favorite team.

The Cardinals game was blacked out here (I wonder if Arizona holds the record for most consecutive games blacked out?), but they couldn't even beat Jacksonville after breaking the leg of the Jaguars' starting quarterback. I'm not praising them for injuring Leftwich, but you can't let David Garrard beat you when you're playing at home. But that's why you're the Cardinals.

Speaking of back-up quarterbacks, do you want to know how bad the Texans are? St. Louis beat them with their third-string quarterback, the first Harvard QB ever to play in the NFL (he's also from a high school in Gilbert, AZ, right down the road from where we live). And the game was in Houston. It's been fun, David Carr - say hello to Matt Leinart.

Panthers-Bills has to be near the top of the list for most boring game of the year, doesn't it?

LaDanian Tomlinson is fantastic. I'm sorry to reference the Eagles, but all his other games make Philadelphia's effort against him (17 carries, 7 yards!) even more impressive. Washington is starting to suck. I like that.

Tennessee beat San Francisco. I know, I was surprised the NFL would allow them to play too, since they're both such insults to the game.

Can anyone beat the Bears? Can anyone stop the juggernaut in Chicago???? They can't win playoff games like this, can they?

The Bengals are going to make the playoffs, but you can't give up 29 points to the Ravens and expect to go far in the postseason. I know they eased up a bit, but you can't ease up that much. Still, any playoff berth in Cincinnati will make Marvin Lewis a hero.

Tom Brady threw four interceptions. I don't mean to be snotty, but you're not such a great QB when all your players are hurt and you have no running game, are you? They're still going to make the playoffs. Lousy AFC East.

Another game I completely skipped was the Cleveland-Minnesota game. Sorry, Chris. Watch out for the Vikings! That Brad Johnson - he's quite the leader. Maybe all teams should schedule wild sex parties on boats for next season ...

How in the name of all that is holy did the Dolphins score 33 points a week after the Browns shut them out? I love the NFL - it's completely inexplicable. Any game with a safety is a good one - I love safeties.

Seattle tried so hard to lose that game that I'm amazed they actually won. If they want to be the class of the NFC (and I think they are), they have to play better than that. A couple of things, though - the last touchdown the Giants scored should have been overturned, because Toomer clearly did not get both feet down in the end zone, and I'm so glad the Seahawks went for it on fourth down at the New York four-yard-line late in the game. I love when coaches have guts and trust their team. That's a reason why New York lost the game - they were playing for field goals late and in overtime, instead of trying to pick up more yardage. It cost them. And how sweet was it to see Jeremy Shockey doing his little dance when he thought the game was over and then have it all go to crap on him? I hate Shockey, so I thought it was excellent.

Speaking of New York kickers who can't get the job done, the Jets suck. So do the Saints, for that matter. Can't we shuffle things at the end of the year to make sure the prime-time games matter? Isn't that in the works for next season?

College football is winding down, and Notre Dame will get an undeserved spot in a $14 million bowl game. I really hope Penn State plays them in the Fiesta Bowl, not only because I might be able to go to the game, but I really believe the Nittany Lions will smack the crap out of them. I just don't think Notre Dame is all that good. The thing that pisses me off about them is that analysts seem to think that a good Notre Dame team is good for college football. No, it's not. College football doesn't need Notre Dame, and I wish they would stop acting like they do. If I were the NCAA (and when I'm dictator, I might be) I would tell Notre Dame that if they want to go to a BCS bowl game, they should shut up and join a conference. It's all about money, and they already told the NCAA to go screw when they signed their television contract with NBC. As the NCAA, I would tell Notre Dame that if they want to go it alone in the television business, they can take a flying leap when it comes to bowl game. Fuck 'em.

(To be honest, I don't believe Penn State being good is good for college football, either. Or Nebraska. Or Alabama. Or any of the other "traditional" programs that have sucked for a few years. College football is college football - if teams fall, others will take their place.)

Finally, the Lions fired Steve Mariucci but kept Matt Millen. Yeah, that makes sense. They also fired the tight end coach, even though their tight end - Marcus Pollard, wondering why he left the Colts - leads them in catches. Logic has met its match in the world of professional sports!


Blogger Roger Owen Green said...

Your plans changed too, eh? I saw more football this weekend than I did the whole season to date.

The Toomer TD wasn't going to be overturned because ya need conclusive evidence that the first foot was out. But I agree with you about the Shockey dance; he IS a jerk, a more disciplined jerk, though.

I knew that they COULD blackout a game, but it never happens in the NY markets, so it always surprises me when it actually happens.

29/11/05 6:43 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

I heard this morning that the NFL apologized to Holmgren for the Toomer touchdown AND the Shockey one earlier in the game. At least that's what Holmgren claimed. I just thought the evidence WAS conclusive.

They blacked out the game? Or did they just not show it? That's weird - it was an away game, after all, and I figured you would be in the New York market. Bizarre.

29/11/05 10:02 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Brad Johnson has two ring fingers -- we're going to the Super Bowl, baby!!!!

30/11/05 11:09 AM  
Blogger The Disgruntled Chemist said...

That Jeremey Shockey thing was hilarious. I'm not a big fan of his, and Eli Manning really annoys me, so any time I get to watch the Giants suffer is a good time. Plus somebody in my fantasy league had the Giants kicker.

Good times.

30/11/05 1:46 PM  

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