The dilemma of family
I can't be bothered to list the things I'm thankful for. You don't want to hear it, do you? I'm glad my daughter's alive. Lots of other stuff.
It's Krys's birthday! Whoo-hoo! I'm thankful that she puts up with me. Happy Birthday, Krys!
The holidays always make me think about family and why we're weird. I have no interest in spending the holidays with my family or Krys's family. I enjoy spending some time with our families, but I'm always conflicted during the holidays - on the one hand, it's nice to see them, but on the other hand, I LOVE living 2000 miles away from them. The pressure to see them all and have dinner with them and spend time with them is too great. Krys's family lives about 100 miles away from my parents, so that's a tough consideration, and my sister lives in northern Virginia, so it's close enough that she can whine if we don't come down to see her (and she's good at whining). It's not worth it.
Most people can't understand why I feel this way. "Don't you miss your family?" they ask. Well, not really. I love them, but I love Thanksgiving and Christmas with Krys and the kids. Right now, Krys's maternal grandmother is staying with us - she's sitting right behind me! It's very nice to see her, and I like that she gets out to see her great-grandchildren, but if we had to be near her all the time, someone would die. Possibly me from putting a knitting needle through my eye, but more likely her. She's 89 years old and she has lived her entire life in Schuylkill County, PA, which is not a very nice place to live. So her outlook on life is rather bleak - she always talks about people dying and the awful weather and houses that fall down. She also spent decades taking care of her husband, and now that he's dead, she still feels the need to meddle. So she's a meddler. We try to divert her, but it's hard.
My parents and my sister are visiting for Christmas. That should be a fiasco waiting to happen. Luckily, they're not staying with us, because we don't have the room. However, they'll be here a lot. So it will be Mom and Dad, my sister and her husband, their four-year-old son, their one-year-old daughter, and us. Won't that be a hoot! I love my family, but they're a lot to handle as well. My sister, with whom I have a love/hate relationship (don't all siblings?), is a whiner. Seriously. She whines. A lot. She also has not seen Mia since her accident, and I don't think she really understands Mia's issues. We'll see how that goes.
So this is the first time in a while that we have family with us for both holidays. I've never really seen the importance of it, though. Families are overrated. They do provide a built-in support network, but it's true that you might not choose them as friends if you didn't have to see them. It just seems like everyone assumes that you should spend time with them, and if you don't want to, you're some kind of pariah. It's that pressure that I can do without.
I love the good things that family represents. I'm just glad that I'm in a position where if our families want to see us, they have to make an effort. Our sisters, for instance - Krys's is wrapped up in her own life and never calls, while mine NEVER e-mails me. Never. I send out e-mails to the people I know when I post pictures of the kids on my other blog, and she never e-mails back to say hello. That's her deal, though - she has her own life, and that's fine. If our families want to keep us in their lives, they have to step up. I'm perfectly happy hanging out with Krys, Mia, and Norah. That's all the family I really need. Does that make me un-American? Does that make me an awful person? Bring it on.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Remember: parades suck, and I'm sick of Detroit and Dallas getting the football games. Some traditions are meant to be torn down! Mr. Tagliabue, tear down this wall!
It's Krys's birthday! Whoo-hoo! I'm thankful that she puts up with me. Happy Birthday, Krys!
The holidays always make me think about family and why we're weird. I have no interest in spending the holidays with my family or Krys's family. I enjoy spending some time with our families, but I'm always conflicted during the holidays - on the one hand, it's nice to see them, but on the other hand, I LOVE living 2000 miles away from them. The pressure to see them all and have dinner with them and spend time with them is too great. Krys's family lives about 100 miles away from my parents, so that's a tough consideration, and my sister lives in northern Virginia, so it's close enough that she can whine if we don't come down to see her (and she's good at whining). It's not worth it.
Most people can't understand why I feel this way. "Don't you miss your family?" they ask. Well, not really. I love them, but I love Thanksgiving and Christmas with Krys and the kids. Right now, Krys's maternal grandmother is staying with us - she's sitting right behind me! It's very nice to see her, and I like that she gets out to see her great-grandchildren, but if we had to be near her all the time, someone would die. Possibly me from putting a knitting needle through my eye, but more likely her. She's 89 years old and she has lived her entire life in Schuylkill County, PA, which is not a very nice place to live. So her outlook on life is rather bleak - she always talks about people dying and the awful weather and houses that fall down. She also spent decades taking care of her husband, and now that he's dead, she still feels the need to meddle. So she's a meddler. We try to divert her, but it's hard.
My parents and my sister are visiting for Christmas. That should be a fiasco waiting to happen. Luckily, they're not staying with us, because we don't have the room. However, they'll be here a lot. So it will be Mom and Dad, my sister and her husband, their four-year-old son, their one-year-old daughter, and us. Won't that be a hoot! I love my family, but they're a lot to handle as well. My sister, with whom I have a love/hate relationship (don't all siblings?), is a whiner. Seriously. She whines. A lot. She also has not seen Mia since her accident, and I don't think she really understands Mia's issues. We'll see how that goes.
So this is the first time in a while that we have family with us for both holidays. I've never really seen the importance of it, though. Families are overrated. They do provide a built-in support network, but it's true that you might not choose them as friends if you didn't have to see them. It just seems like everyone assumes that you should spend time with them, and if you don't want to, you're some kind of pariah. It's that pressure that I can do without.
I love the good things that family represents. I'm just glad that I'm in a position where if our families want to see us, they have to make an effort. Our sisters, for instance - Krys's is wrapped up in her own life and never calls, while mine NEVER e-mails me. Never. I send out e-mails to the people I know when I post pictures of the kids on my other blog, and she never e-mails back to say hello. That's her deal, though - she has her own life, and that's fine. If our families want to keep us in their lives, they have to step up. I'm perfectly happy hanging out with Krys, Mia, and Norah. That's all the family I really need. Does that make me un-American? Does that make me an awful person? Bring it on.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Remember: parades suck, and I'm sick of Detroit and Dallas getting the football games. Some traditions are meant to be torn down! Mr. Tagliabue, tear down this wall!
posted by Greg | 12:51 PM
1 Comments:
Happy Thanksgiving!
I have a brother like your sister. Keeping in touch is not his thing. I think you're right to value your immediate family the most. That's the family you're creating yourself; the one you chose.
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