Yay! We're not dead!

The Large Hadron Collider was activated today in Switzerland, and it DID NOT create a black hole, destroying the entire planet. Good times.

Let's celebrate the fact that we're still alive! Woo-hoo!

Big bunnies, unisex bathrooms, Mr. T, destroy all robots!, pirate lingerie, and many Signs of the Apocalypse - all in the links!

Yes, this week I had time to zip around cyberspace and find all that's great and glorious about this big blue marble we inhabit. Can you handle the cosmic goodness of all the links?

Let's get right to it!

FUNNY STUFF. We laugh so that we may not cry.

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2006 winners are out! Your winner:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

That's just painful. Lots more at the link, but beware - they are all as bad as this one!

Jesus contemplates his scars. Do the ladies like them or not?

Dave brings us: Bus Off A Cliff Comics! Excellent political humor, including my favorite:

Dave did these himself, so I don't want to steal any more - go check the rest out at the link!

Holy crap, that's a big bunny!

Google Senator Rick Santorum's last name! Fun stuff. This is from YesButNoButYes.

True tales of the unisex bathroom!

If you've been wondering what Deadwood, one of the best shows on television, is lacking, the answer is obvious: a laugh track. Lyle pointed this out.

This is a long (but funny) post about being way too polite.

My obituary:

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

This is from Stuntmother.

Have you ever found a very old note to yourself?

Life lessons from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Who knew such philosophy was embedded in a Disney movie?

FASHION NEWS. We're all about the fashion here!

The school district in Arlington, TX, is banning "grills" - you know, those jewelry-encrusted things rappers wear on their teeth. There was an article in this week's newspaper about them and how unhygienic they are, but stupid people wearing stupid things on their body is as American as denying minorities their rights! Fashion is largely stupid, and trying to ban it never does anyone any good.

Speaking of fashion, Mr. T has ditched his gold chains after viewing the destruction wrought by Katrina. It's a sin against God, according to T, to wear such ostentatious bling while there are so many people put out by the hurricane. But I thought they were put out by the hurricane because they were sinning against God? Religion is so confusing. I'll miss the gold chains. It's like KISS without the makeup!

Go Fug Yourself brings us an unidentified poorly-dressed person:

Fashion makes my head hurt.

COMIC BOOK WACKINESS. When comics take the place of classic literature, you'll all be sorry you don't read them!

Scipio has discovered Spider-Man's weak point:

That's gotta hurt. Unless, of course, Spidey is, you know, that way.

Scipio has a bit of a theme going, as he the only example we need for why the importance of word balloons on comic book covers:


But that's not all for the Man of Steel! Scott discovers that Superman is sexist:

Oh, the horror! Boy, Superman really is a dick, isn't he?

This probably shouldn't be in the comic book section, but what the hell: Tom has an interesting post about sexism and gender differences. It was inspired by comics, so that's where it's going!

Dorian visits the DC message boards. Why, Dorian, why? At least we reap the benefit of reading about the idiots without having to actually go there.

I forgot to mention that last week Chris Sims had a theme: Badass Week! He wrote about Ghost Rider and Captain America, gave out a Lifetime Tough Man Achievement Award, and revealed the Toughest Man in Comics (which was unsurprising) and the Toughest Woman in Comics (which was surprising). Quality stuff as usual from the Invincible Super-Blog.

Speaking of Chris, he brings us the awesomeness of Project X, which is a comic about noodles in a cup. Do you doubt it? Gaze in wonder:

If your mind is now blown, you're not the only one.

Thoughts about Greg Land and "pornface."

Nik has some interesting thoughts about Alan Moore's Lost Girls.

Mike Sterling wants to destroy all robots!

POLITICS. And related insanity.

Is this guy serious? According to him (well, I assume it's a him, but it could be a her), if Israel didn't exist Jews and Muslims would live in perfect harmony. WTF? One thing that bugs me about crazy liberals is their occasional hatred of Israel. I don't think Israel is the shining paragon of goodness that conservatives make it out to be, but it certainly has a right to exist. Israel not existing wouldn't help solve the problems in the Middle East. I hate to agree with crazy right-wingers like Ace, where I found this, but this is just ridiculous.

A Baptist minister compared Kenneth Lay to James Byrd, a black man who was dragged to his death, saying they were both "lynched." He also compared him to Martin Luther King Jr. and - get this - Jesus. I can't even find the words for this. I got both stories at Andrew Sullivan, here and here.

Who, oh who, can we blame for the illegal immigration problem? Duh. Ronald Reagan, of course. You have to love unintended consequences.

"The president is always right." Actual quote by Stephen Bradbury, a Justice Department lawyer. Un-frickin'-believable. This is from The Carpetbagger Report by way of Balloon Juice.

Echidne links to this article about how liberal Christianity is dying because people want authoritarian sects telling them what to do, and then rips it to shreds. It's fascinating because I have always heard that the Catholic Church is in crisis, yet they seem to be more authoritarian than anyone. The author kind of skims over that point.

Edward Copeland on Film has the news that the CleanFlick people have to knock it off. An interesting reaction to the ruling can be found here (with links).

Are the Minutemen riddled with corruption? I know, it would be shocking!

This has been making the rounds, but if you missed it, it's new to you! The Disgruntled Chemist first brought it to my attention. He pointed out this story in The Onion. It's amusing enough, but this pro-lifer thought it was serious and really ripped into it. Over a thousand comments later, most telling him how stupid he was, and he responded here. Satire is dead, apparently.

This story didn't get much press, which is odd: the Supreme Court has basically ripped the guts out of the insanity defense. This is from an Arizona case, so I'm surprised I didn't see more about it here. This is from Heretical Ideas. It's good to see that we're getting tough on those paranoid schizophrenics!

This is a sobering story about all the neo-Nazis in the United States military.

OCTOGENARIAN NEWS. Eighty is the new forty, you know.

An 83-year-old man took a turn at bat in a minor-league baseball game. He struck out. If you're the pitcher, don't you have to throw at him? I mean, come on! But at least he wasn't selling drugs for sex, like this 80-year-old! That's just icky.

SOCCER-RELATED STUFF. Because the World Cup may be over, but football lives on!

It's the World Cup headbutt heard 'round the world ... in LEGO!

From Majikthise.

In related news, the Ministry of Information links to this story about the cultural norms of swearing.

POP CULTURE-O-RAMA! Because there's no culture like the disposable kind!

Afe found this picture somewhere:

That's Yvonne Craig, apparently (it doesn't look like her). You may know her better as Batgirl!

Neel Mehta brings us news that Adventures in Babysitting is getting remade. What an awesome movie (I kid you not). The question is, of course, what the fuck? Can no one in Hollywood come up with even the semblance of an original idea? Of course, because it's the Internet, there are always people who go a little nutty about the news.

Woody asks the most important question ever: who's hotter, pirates or stormtroopers? I must say, his stormtroopers would fare poorly in battle. And he actually links to a pirate lingerie page:

See? If you visit this blog, you can find out how to spice up that aspect of your life!

The weirdness of the new television show Who Wants to be a Superhero. Ah, yes, MonkeyWoman was there (with her only "natural" superpower - the monkey screech) ...

... as was Fat Momma (who can hit you with a "super burp") ...

... and Lemuria, who is of course from Atlantis:


If you don't think the Japanese have the weirdest culture in the world, this may change your mind.

Will M. Night Shyamalan direct a Harry Potter film? The rumor comes is linked to at The Beat.

Kate Hudson likes porn, apparently. Or, more specifically, she doesn't mind if her husband watches it. I doubt if she'll have to worry about it much longer - aren't they due for a divorce?

Adam West exhibits his Bat-art!

The always-fun Tom Peyer found this piece of pop-culture goodness.

SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE. It's coming, people!

Stolen from Allison:

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Dave finds something that's pretty disturbing. He found a message board where people are happy because of all the crap that's going on in the world because it means the Rapture is coming soon. And I'm pretty sure they're serious.

My pal Roxy goes to Ozzfest and learns dark, depressing things about herself.

Here are a ton o' statistics about books, courtesy of Goin' Ape. The saddest one of all: 58% of Americans never read a book after high school.

I've seen this a few places, but I say it first at Basketbawful: A man has sued Michael Jordan because they look alike and he's tired of being mistaken for Jordan. He sued Phil Knight too. For 416 million dollars. Each. Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Here are two news stories about various schools banning tag. Yes, tag. It messes with kids' self esteem, don't you know. This is from Dadcentric.

You've heard of the cuculoupe, right? Thank goodness we have Dave Barry to bring us the news!

MISCELLANEOUS. I can't come up with categories for everything!

This post has some interesting thoughts about Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser as well as thoughts about obesity in general. I'm obese (probably, although I'm not sure how obese) and struggle with it, and it's far too easy to become obese. I'm working on it!

Pete Coors was arrested for DUI. I know drunk driving is a serious issue, but this is pretty funny. I got the news from Ace of Spades.

Here are some nice signs trying to get abled people to stop parking in disabled parking spaces. My favorite is:

The other two don't have the swearing, but they're still good. I found this at ahistoricality. Ever since we got our handicapped parking tag, I've noticed only a few times where it appeared someone was blatantly abusing it. My darling wife actually threatened to call the cops on a guy once who was parked in a handicapped space. This was after she politely asked him if he had a tag and made a big deal about dragging Mia's wheelchair out of the van. The guy had a hard time getting the hint, I guess.

The Ministry of Information gives us this bit of information:

Ladies, you know you want them! The manufacturer thought, "How can I make stiletto heels even more uncomfortable? I know - I'll make the shoes out of metal!"

Are you looking for the best nudist resorts? Sure you are! Go here for four of the best. If you peruse this woman's blog, you'll know she's very qualified to discuss this.

This is a weird site in what appears to be Russian. Why would I link to it? The pictures, oh, the pictures:

The Russian Spider-Man shows up, too. Doubt me at your peril! I found this at Heidi's blog.

Why we'd all be better of if a secret cabal was actually running the world.

Here's a link some nice old-school pictures of the Liberty Theater in Portland, courtesy of Stumptown Confidential.

Have I mentioned how much I miss Portland? Sigh.

Yes, it's virtual bubble wrap. Pop it yourself! I found it here.

Here are a few links from Histori-blogography: autoantonyms and the coolest ice tray ever:

You know you want it!

Vincent Van Gogh's paintings: a precursor to chaos theory?

Matthew writes about discovering a Sazerac cocktail. I've never heard of it either.

I found this weird picture here:

So sad!

This links to Nudist Trampolining. Don't worry, it's totally work safe! Well, maybe 98% work safe.

Finally, we have this:

Missile tests over New Mexico. Yes, it's very pretty. Yes, it's kind of freaky!

That's all for this week. I hope you have fun wasting time with these - remember, surfing the Internets is best done while you're supposed to be working! Nobody reads those TPS reports anyway!

Every link must go!

For the past month or so, I have started off every week full of vim and vigor and ready to surf the Internet and find links for your browsing pleasure. And then real life interrupts. The one kid is taking up more of my time (Norah, that is) because she is much more likely to get into trouble while she is wandering around, so I can't ignore her like I used to (ha). When I do get some time (while they are both sleeping), I like to go in the pool, because it's so stinko hot, to quote my mom. So my time is limited. And no one's reading anyway, right? Hello?

The upshot of this is that I have a bunch of links from the past four weeks or so, and I'm clearing them out! No categories, just linking goodness. Have a ball!

Jake breaks down an awful comic book, Warrior, based, apparently, on the wrestler of the same name. It's so awful he devotes many posts to one issue and two more to a separate issue. If you're wondering, yes, Jake is quite ill.

Speaking of Jake, he also shows us what happens when Mr. T fights ninjas. Because you were all wondering.

My pal Roxy has posted pictures of her grand European vacation. Even though I hate her because I am mad with envy, you should still stop by and check them out. They are up in four separate posts. God, I miss Europe.

You are, of course, dying to purchase "Walking With Jesus" merchandise, such as this beach ball:

All my good Jesus stuff comes from Tom Peyer.

Mike Sterling found this picture:

He wonders, "What do they mean, 'match'?"

This was an interesting tidbit that you probably have already seen: the Pentagon lists homosexuality as a disorder. I'm glad we're no longer medieval about these things, aren't you?

Ladies! Haven't you always wanted to wear a yarmulke? Sure you have! Now you can, with ... yarmulkebras! You think I'm joking, don't you???? If there's not a special section of hell reserved for the people behind this, something ain't right. I found this at Ace of Spades.

Did you hear about the Massachusetts senator who attacked Fluffernutter sandwiches? Oh, the evil! He later repented his blasphemy. He didn't know what he was getting into!

Scipio discusses the lack of women heroes and villains in comics and thinks it's okay.

Yes, it's a girl on the beach:


In case you were wondering who you should bow down and worship now that God is dead, Oprah might be a good choice. Why? She convinced Harper Lee to write something for inclusion in O Magazine. Yes, that Harper Lee. The same one who hasn't written anything in 40 years. Dare you question the power of Oprah?????

A. David Lewis explains Why Civil War is dumb and why Civil War is stupid. That's the Marvel summer crossover, by the way, and not our war to free the slaves.

Public service announcement:

I found it here via Pharyngula.

In case you're wondering if civilization is ending, it won't be because you worship Oprah. It will be because a robber is suing his victims after they beat him. That asteroid can't hit us soon enough!

We must protect the children from ... Riverdance!

Scipio wonders if more blogs are devoted to DC than Marvel, and if so, why? A lively discussion ensues!

The always-fun Astrid takes pictures of random people blowing bubbles. If I asked people to do this I'd get arrested, but Astrid is far too charming!

As this is a family blog, I can't tell you what the headline of this article says. (Okay, that's a lie. It's just fun to be surprised when you click the link.) I got this at Blah Blah Flowers.

The State Department's annual report on human rights abuses ignores Guantanamo Bay. Well, that's pretty shocking. I thought that when you commit crimes against God's Chosen Democracy you forfeit all rights as a human being. No wonder Gitmo gets no mention!

Byzantium's Shores links to With Your Mom. Every joke is exactly the same (check the title), but they're still strangely funny.

This links to a video of a creepy marionette show. I found this at Hollywood Tuna.

Dorian shows us this picture and asks:

Who hasn't wanted to smack Dick Grayson every now and then?

Speaking of the Caped Crusader, Scipio points out that Batman is quite the swinger:


Australian television is so cool. Chosha tells us about a documentary she watched recently about the perfect penis. It sounds very graphic and very disturbing.

Today is the World Cup Final, and I don't care because the Americans and Germans aren't in it. Sports, of course, can bring us all together in the spirit of competition, and as the adverts on ESPN keep telling us, Ivory Coast stopped its civil war so that everyone could watch soccer. Then there's Somalia, where two people watching a World Cup match on television were killed by radical Muslim militiamen. Seems television is, I don't know, the sign of the devil or something. I think the Iraq war is as disgusting as anything, but I find it sad that some Muslims actually wonder why a lot of Americans hate them. Might this have something to do with it?

Of course, the Christians here aren't all that rational, either. A debate came up in Congress recently because a Christian movie got a PG rating. Oh, no - a movie with Christian themes got a PG rating! This, my friends, is truly a sign of the Apocalypse.

You can read this article if you like, but it might make your head hurt. It's about a national push for simpler spelling rules, but half of the article is written with words spelled phonetically, and it hurts my head. Things like this anger me as an English teacher, because basically these people are saying that some people are too lazy to learn correct spelling, so we have to make it easier for them. Oh, boo-hoo. English spelling will change the way all languages change - organically. I can't do anything about that, nor should I. But changing a language because its speakers are too stupid annoys me. Spelling is not that hard, people!

Finally, somebody found a dodo skeleton in Mauritius. Well, I think it's neat. I got this from Wicked Boring.

That's it for this week (or month, actually). Enjoy the romp around the world wide web!

Doom! Doom, I say!

Remember how the world was supposed to end on Tuesday? Yeah, that was funny. Anyway, we had a big storm here, and at times it felt like the world was going to end, let me tell you! One very small good thing about living in Hell is occasionally the weather acts really freaky, and quick-witted photographers get pictures like this:

I bet those people in that church in the foreground wished they had prayed a little harder! Because it looks like Armageddon to me!

Luckily, it wasn't. Or was it ...

(Insert your own dramatic music here.)

King George takes charge, Dave Grohl's lullabies, superannouncements, boob jobs, and of course, Britney Spears giving birth - all in the links!

I was inspired this week and had some time, so I managed to troll the dark corners of cyberspace and find the wackiest stuff out there. I hope y'all enjoy the weirdness and such.

POLITICAL BUFFOONERY. We're living in the great age of it!

In case you didn't notice, Bush is trampling on the Constitution again. I found this at Through the Looking Glass.

Speaking of Our Supreme and Glorious Leader, he and his cronies have come up with a sneaky way to get a law passed. I found this at Mah Two Cents, who found it at Peter David's blog.

The logical consequences of making abortion illegal. Pro-life people never want to talk about that.

Speaking of abortion, here's a story about an Oglala Sioux woman who plans to open an abortion clinic on reservation land in South Dakota. That should be interesting and get into all sorts of stuff about sovereignty. This is from Bitch Ph.D. via Ahistoricality.

Here's a story about a teacher who quit his job because of the poor pay. Sad, but true. Teachers make no money.

Here's a nice, long post about why the war on drugs continues to be stupid.

Ahistoricality links to a dissection of the Kansas FAQ brochure discussing the new science standards. One of the gems: teaching evolution "is scientifically controversial because it is an historical science, and therefore very subjective." "Historical science"? WTF?

John McCain, our wonderful senator from Arizona, the guy who once bashed religious extremists, including "Christians" like Jerry Falwell, is going to speak at Liberty University, founded by Jerry Falwell. I guess votes mean more than principles, eh, John? I found both these links at Andrew Sullivan.

IMMIGRATION RANTING. Keep America pure and white, people! No white person has ever committed a crime, so we must be the best!

Here's an interesting article with many links that says undocumented immigration doesn't increase crime rates. More stuff to shove at people who want to close the border!

A very novel way to solve our illegal immigration problem. My God - it's so simple! Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?

Here's an open letter to CNN about the immigration coverage. She's not happy, but she is insightful. She links to story about all the illegal immigrants ... who live in Boston and happen to be Irish. Where's the rage???? I found this at Kung Fu Monkey.

This is a very interesting (and very long) post about illegal immigration and the issues surrounding it.

Here's a fun quote from Generalissimo Bush: "The immigration debate should be conducted in a civil and dignified way." Um, what? Does he even know what those words mean? I found this at Echidne of the Snakes.

FUN STUFF. After the political junk, it's good to have a laugh.

Oscar Madison shops at Target. Oh, the horror!

Discovering an unfortunate truth at a young age.

Greatest T-shirt ever? You be the judge! I found this at Dave Barry's blog.

Mrs. Montesano's third-grade class thanks Columbia Pictures for inviting them to the world premiere of Basic Instinct 2. They wrote notes:

More at the link. Those kids - so precocious these days!

My pal the Mad Monk Barbarossa shows us something we all need:

Crucial in today's political climate!

Nik lists his worst neighbors of all time!

Remember Jaws: A Love Story? Who doesn't? This is from Welcome to Blog.

Here are thirteen things not to do on the final version of a term paper. It's sad that students do these things, but they do.

With the Final Four in NCAA basketball upon us, we find out all about the real George Mason.

Dave Grohl is apparently going to write lullabies, and here are some suggested titles.

Scott introduces himself like V would, but with 'S' words. Clever!

You're not getting older, you're diffracting.

ALL ABOUT RELIGION OR LACK THEREOF! Doing my part to spread the love.

A two-day "Christian" summit yields one excellent idiotic quote after another. My favorite: "Whenever your husband wants sex it is your duty to say 'yes.'" Awesome. This is from Echidne of the Snakes.

Prayer does not affect heart surgery patients in any way, and may have an adverse effect when people the patient knows prays for them. They needed to do a scientific study about this, people! Welcome to 21st-century America.

I know it's not nice to make fun of other religions, and this isn't really making fun of one, but check out this Muslim marriage site. It's not a dating site, because Muslims don't date! There's nothing really that funny about it until you look at the pictures the women submit. Now that's some bold stuff! How can a man resist??? I found this at Ace of Spades.

Chris McLaren links to this survey, which says atheists are the biggest threat to America. Bigger than terrorists, mind you. Bigger than queers and their weird desire to marry! Holy crap! Does anyone want to still say we're not moving quickly toward a theocracy?

And in case you're wondering how this translates from vague feelings into policy, atheists are discriminated against in custody cases. How nice!

COMIC BOOK ODDITIES. Not that there's anything odd about comic books!

Things Mike Sterling never hears at his comic book store.

Sarcasmo points us to Superheroes on the toilet. No, it's not a euphemism.

The Comic Treadmill makes a good point: this would be the greatest school field trip ever.

Lots of other comic bloggers have mentioned this, but I saw it here: Marvel is developing a series of graphic novels aimed at the international market, including one about the women of the X-Men written by Chris Claremont. The artist? Milo Manara, a famous Italian erotic artist. Apparently, the kids in Europe can handle erotica much more than the kids here can! Here's some of what I can only assume is his "tamer" work, stolen from Heidi's link above:

Nice-looking art, but way to make comics even more like porn! Go Marvel!

When Scipio did his weekly haiku this week, he included a wonderful out-of-context panel:

I don't know, but more and more, I'm convinced that Fredric Wertham was right.

Chris points out this story about Jeph Loeb and Rob Liefeld teaming up to do a series about Onslaught. For those of you who don't know the names "Loeb," "Liefeld," or "Onslaught," count yourself lucky. The darkest of the dark days of the 1990s at Marvel! And they're bringing it back!

Special Superman Family Subset Of Links!

Lois Lane: suicide counselor!

Speaking of Superman, Jake has been having way too much fun over the past couple of weeks with the Big Blue and Supergirl. First, he showed us the comic in which Superman announces Supergirl's presence to the world. He was impressed that Superman could simply break into television programming all over the world, and for something as inane as telling everyone that a person exists, so he decided to have some fun with Superman breaking into programming to make announcements. And what announcements! Here they are: the first one, the second one, the third one, the fourth one, the fifth one, the sixth one, the seventh one, the eighth one, the ninth one, the tenth one, the eleventh one, and the twelfth one. Phew. With the tenth announcement, he started added a panel to show what Superman was interrupting, like so:

Jake is having far too much fun with photoshop, I think. Check out his whole blog, too, because he's having a lot of other fun with Supergirl!

Marionette points out something rather interesting: Superman feels the need to rescue Jimmy Olson from girls. Hmmm ...

Oh, dear, Bruce and Clark, what now:


Will Pfeifer finds the idea of a "super horse laugh" funny, and so do I:

Superman comics are weird.

CENSORSHIP NEWS! We must protect the (Chinese) children!

The Anonymous Lawyer just found out that his blog is blocked in China. I shudder to think what they do to mine, as he does not often publish gratuitous photos of scantily-clad women or curses.

GEOGRAPHICAL MISCELLANEOUS. Because no one knows where to find the United States on a map.

A few weeks ago I noticed this post by Chris Cope, in which he tells us about Sark Island, which still maintains a feudal system. How excellent! Where is Sark Island, you may ask? It's one of the Channel Islands in the English Channel, very near France but part of England. Now that you know about it, I'm sure you'll want to visit.

This is an interesting article about Centralia. It's in Pennsylvania, in case you're wondering. It's pretty weird - Silent Hill, anyone?

This is an interesting article about digital manipulation, specifically this picture:

I found the link at 2 Blowhards.

CHICKS ON THE WEB! Because we certainly don't appreciate treating anyone like objects around here.

Women with boob jobs may be banned from Virgin's space shuttle flight. Because they might explode, you know. I like the picture they posted with the news article. Check it out - apparently we don't know what breasts look like.

Yes, it's ... the brassieres of the future!

This wonderful site comes from Dave Barry's blog.

I'm sure you've all heard about the Britney Spears sculpture of her giving birth done by a pro-life artist. If you haven't go read about it! And gaze on the glorious monstrosity!

It really doesn't get any better than that, does it?

Why can't celebrities wear underwear? Is it really that difficult?

Apparently, fake euros with naked people on them were passed off as real. Behold!

The story comes from here, which Roger linked to a few weeks ago. He also linked to a very funny Chinese menu, so check it out if you feel like it.

Here's a nice little story about a porn star turned vintner:

She said she made the transition because she wanted her parents to be proud of her. You mean they weren't proud of her starring in porn movies? Shocking! I found this at one of my new favorite blogs, The M Zöne.

It's the worst album covers of all time! But it includes this one, so how can we claim it's accurate?

Whitesnake RULES! I found the list at Ace of Spades.

SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE. It's closer than you think ...

A true sign of the Apocalypse. I found this at Dave Barry's blog.

Words fail me:

This is from the BEAST blog.

INDIAN SUB-CONTINENT MISCELLANEOUS. This is for Ashley.

A man divorced his wife while he was asleep! Those Muslim men, you know, can divorce a woman just by saying "I divorce you" thrice, and this guy muttered the word in his sleep. The fun thing about religious law is: the Muslim elders said they were divorced, even though the guy doesn't want to be, and the couple has to remain apart for 100 days and she has to sleep with another man, who then has to divorce her, before they can remarry. And yet some people think we should have religious law as the basis of our legal system. Yeah, that's a good idea.

This comes from Pakistan, where surgeons recently operated on a two-month old baby girl with two fetuses inside her. Oh sweet Jeebus. Apparently this sort of thing happens once every 500,000 births. Read with amazement and horror!

NEWS FROM THE ANIMAL KINGDOM. Who doesn't love our furry friends?

A Swedish court has fined a kennel owner who refused to sell a kitten to a lesbian. I'm with the kennel owner on this one. I mean, when we got him, Smokey had been turned into a raving Republican by his previous owners. It took us years to turn him! So I wouldn't want this "woman" turning that poor kitten gay! Who's on board?

This web site is devoted to "hidden" animals. You know, like giant anacondas! I found this site at Overcompensating, where the accompanying comic strip is really funny (and has nothing to do with hidden animals).

A tortoise that was well over 200 years old has died. So sad!

LES BEAUX ARTS. It's all about culture here at the blog!

Here are some random photographs of a very old, very beat-up Charlie's Angels lunchbox. Why? Why the hell not?

They're making a stage version of Xanadu. They're making a stage version of Xanadu! If God isn't dead already, this will surely kill him. I found this fun nugget here.

John Rogers explains how to save the movie theater industry. One word: Ushers.

There's a new edition of Shakespeare coming out with all the sexual innuendo footnoted. And there's a lot of it! This is from Dave Barry's blog.

I BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE! Can't we build a time machine and send some of them there?

What's an "indigo child"? Find out and marvel! I'm with the writer - sounds like a "brat" to me.

Education Wonks links to this story about using mild shock therapy on children to treat psychological disorders. I'm not going to comment, since some parents like it and others hate it, but it's just weird that we're still doing this sort of thing in America.

FINALLY, SOME LEGAL IDIOCY. Because it deserves special category all its own.

T. points out that someone is suing eHarmony for $12,000. They won't let him join because he's married. Okay, legally separated, but it's all the same to them! I'm just puzzled because he spent two hours filling out the application and somehow he should get paid $12,000. I wish I could make six grand an hour!

That's all for this week. As usual, I can never say week-to-week when I'm going to have time to do these, so I hope you enjoy them today!