Liars and Fools!

The big pig is fake. Oh, the shame! Well, okay, not really, but it still wasn't strictly "wild." Read all about it on the web site! Here's what I don't get: who cares? I mean, it's a bit silly to talk about the kid as the world's greatest hunter, but it was still a big pig. What the hell was anyone going to do with it, ride it in the Kentucky Derby? It's not like it was Wilbur, for crying out loud! The kid shot the pig. If they want to say it was the work of a valiant hunter, so what?

That I don't care too much about, I just thought I'd mention it. Clinton Portis, however, is a fool. You'll recall that Portis, the running back for the Washington football team (whose name I refuse to use), said people should leave Michael Vick alone. Vick, you'll recall, is being investigated for fighting dogs on his property. Portis said that it's Vick's property and he should be allowed to do whatever he wants there, and who cares about dogs? When it was pointed out to him that dogfighting is a felony, Portis said it's not that bad and it's his business. Well, he finally apologized, but it was an odd apology (and I can't find a link to it). He said he didn't realize how much people loved dogs.

Really, Clinton? REALLY? You didn't realize how much people loved dogs? I don't even love dogs (I like them, but they're kind of annoying) and I recognize that breeding them to fight each other is barbaric. Jesus. When I'm dictator, people like Clinton Portis will have to fight 1000-pound hogs in a cage match with no weapons. Then we'll see how tough Clinton Portis and people of his ilk are.

How much could I charge for a pay-per-view cage match between Clinton Portis and a 1000-pound "feral" hog? Man, if I knew anything about Photoshop, I'd have a great picture to post right here!