Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Name:
Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!

17.8.05

So many people need to shut up, I don't know where to start!

It's been a while since I have thought any people needed to shut up, but today it's a smorgasbord. So much good stuff!

First, of course, is Sean Combs. Who? Well, is his nickname this week "Puff Daddy," "Puffy," or "P. Diddy." If your answer is none of the above, you have been paying way too much attention to Access Hollywood. Yes, Sean will now be known as "Diddy." The "P."? Too confusing, according to Combs. He announced this, of all places, on Today to Katie Couric. Wasn't Couric once a respectable journalist? How about we call him Sean? Or better yet, how about we call him no-talent hack whose one claim to fame is ripping off Sting to eulogize his dead friend who was stupid enough to get shot in an idiotic feud? Can we call him that?

Shut the hell up, Sean.

Victoria Beckham also needs to shut up. David Beckham's wife and one-time no-talent hack singer known as Posh Spice told the London Daily Mail that she "hasn't read a book in [her] life." Jesus. People like this better hope I don't become dictator either. Even if that's true, and listening to the Spice Girls, I have no reason to doubt Ms. Beckham's admittance of her ignorance, why would you flaunt it? Why do these celebrities want people to know how stupid they are? If I had never read a book in my life, I'd be ashamed of myself. Because, you know, I'm normal.

Shut the hell up, Posh.

Finally, I hate to say it, but John Cleese needs to shut up. Well, not exactly shut up, but stop all the sharing. I think Cleese is very funny, and starred in one of the brilliant sitcoms of all time (not that comedy troupe he was in, but Fawlty Towers), but now comes news that he will be auctioning off pieces of his colon after surgery to fix it. I'll repeat that: pieces of his colon. Please, Mr. Cleese, spare us. We beg you.

I got all these stories from today's Arizona Republic. There's also an article about celebrities announcing when they lose their virginity. It's more of a retrospective, or you can bet there would be lots of people who need to shut up in that one.

Jesus, people. I would say nobody cares about your stupid lives that much, but then why do all these magazines sell so well?

3 Comments:

Blogger Chris Cope said...

Madonna needs to shut up. She didn't say anything, simply fell off a horse, but I want her to shut up now so I don't have to hear of her triumphant recovery.

18/8/05 1:06 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Yeah, I saw that story. I'm sure we'll hear all about it soon enough. A pre-emptive shut up. I like it.

18/8/05 1:34 PM  
Anonymous Cletus Momon said...

Well, that could be true.

11/12/05 12:03 PM  

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