Bestiality, Jon Stewart destroys America, evil Mark Trail, and furry crustaceans - the links will drive you mad!

Before we get to the magic and mystery that is This Week On The Internet, I thought I should tell you about what I did yesterday. Or, more accurately, what I had done to me. I went to the salon where Krys gets her hair cut and received a professional shave. I had been interested in getting one for a while, and Krys got me a gift certificate for Christmas, so I made an appointment. I have a pretty heavy beard, and hate shaving (which is why it's nice to have no job - less shaving!), so I figured it would be fun to try it.

I was disappointed.

The experience wasn't awful. The hot and cold towels were nice, and the lotions the shaving dude put on my face were nice, but the actual shaving (with a straight razor, of course) was a lot more painful than I thought it would be (it wasn't that painful, but it was more painful than when I do it at home) and the shave just wasn't that close. I thought I might be able to go a few extra days without shaving, but I think I'm going to have to break out the Mach 3 tomorrow, which is when I usually do. So it wasn't that great.

The salon I went to is part of this whole "male spa" trend (the Republic just had a big story about them, and the place I went is mentioned). I'm certainly not the most "manly" man in the joint, but I just don't understand the whole thing. I do love the guys in the article who don't want to be called a metrosexual - even as they're getting a manicure and a back wax. Hey, I get manicures and pedicures every once in a while - they feel great! - and I don't really care what people call me. Deal with it, guys - there's something a tad effete about manicures and exfoliating. It's okay!

I'm going back there today for a hair cut because Krys wants me to. When we lived in Portland, I went to the same salon she did because the woman who cut my hair was very cool. Since we've lived in this house I've been going to the barber shop at the big intersection near my house, where the old Russian couple from Khazakstan cuts it for 12 dollars. That's not good enough for my wife, apparently. We'll see if the cut I get today is decent. Maybe I'll start going there.

For now, let's get to the links!

HITTIN' THE "NEXT BLOG" BUTTON IS ALWAYS EXCITING!

Okay, maybe not. This is the first blog I came to. It has one entry - today's. Moving on!

Here's a blog about a wife of a police officer and mother of three. If that's your thing.

Funny pictures. I guess so. Some are.

This is a blog about a girl obsessed with riding her bike. Good for her!

And lastly we have a chronicle of a guy in Argentina. I'd love to go to Argentina. Just to visit, of course - if I lived there I'd probably get thrown out of a plane eventually.

THINGS THAT MAKE BABY JESUS CRY.

There's a resolution in Missouri to make Christianity the official religion. Nice to see a bunch of Christian types come out of the woodwork to blast this. I found this at Donklephant.

T. links to this horrible story: A woman shoots herself in the stomach to cause an abortion. I'm angry at the woman, but I'm also angry at the people around her, who seemed to know she was very mentally disturbed and probably shouldn't be bringing a child to term in the first place. This is one fucked-up world sometimes.

Speaking of which, everyone should know by now that the governor of South Dakota signed their new abortion law. It should be a fun few years until this gets to the Supreme Court, which is the whole point of it anyway. What happens if the Court reaffirms Roe v. Wade? What will the anti-choicers do then?

The Rude Pundit, however, in his typically vulgar fashion, explains how to get abortion back in South Dakota. With the blessing of the legislators!

The fire chief in my lovely town of Mesa was arrested this week for ... allegedly having sex with a lamb. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm so proud to live here.

ACADEMY AWARD BLOGGING.

Dave Barry gives us all of the important updates.

Sleestak blogs the only portion of the Oscars that he thinks mattered:

That's right, the part with Salma Hayek.

And, of course, Tom the Dog live-blogged the pre-show and the whole show, because he's crazy.

SAN NAKJI COMIC STRIP FUN.

San Nakji was having so much fun with comics this week, he gets his own category! Here is a fun flirting comic, here is a White Ninja comic (which he found at White Ninja Comics, appropriately enough), here is his laser-eye cat, here he wants to be a pirate, and here he finds out that sharks do not vote. Good fun all around!

POLITICAL NUTTERY.

This column avers that Jon Stewart is destroying the progressive movement in America. Yeah, because he has so much power. This post breaks down the idiocy. I found that link at Ahistoricality.

A few weeks ago, Abraham Lincoln and William Sherman were lynched in effigy in South Carolina. Here's the official site celebrating the event, where you can find pictures:

Explain to me why, when these people seceded, fighting a war to bring them back was the right thing?

You think I'm kidding about that? Perhaps you should check out the Republic of Texas interim government web site or maybe you'd like a Texas passport. I am sure these people aren't joking.

A teacher was put on leave after comparing elements of the State of the Union speech to some of Hitler's speeches. He has been re-instated. Interestingly enough, no parents actually complained - the school just freaked out.

Here's an interesting post about when abortion bans are okay.

COMIC LINKAGE.

Ian bring us the news that George Clooney says he played Batman gay. Substitute "badly" for "gay" and you might have something there!

Mark Trail uses his powers for evil rather than good. For shame, Mark!

Some interesting thoughts about death in comics and why we should all shut up about it.

Tom explains why he would write Wonder Woman for free.

Scott looks at getting frozen solid in comics.

Jake points out the X-Force/Spider-Man crossover in which the World Trade Center was knocked down. It's from 1991. I actually own those issues.

Marvel solicitations gone horribly wrong, including one about the adventures of a young May Parker:


ERUDITE MISCELLANEOUS.

This is a neat dictionary I found on Donklephant. It updates as you type - not need to click a button. And it has a cool suffix to the web address.

Here's an interesting question: Is raising the minimum wage a good idea? The nice thing about it is that it's not just a reactionary spouting off about the good old days of Standard Oil. The author wants to discuss it seriously. I got this from Heretical Ideas.

THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.

I'm sure you heard about the new crustacean that was discovered. If you haven't, for shame! Here's a picture of it:

How cool-looking is that? I found this link at Pharyngula.

Hey, guess what? The Laotian rat-squirrel is not extinct! I know you can all sleep better tonight.

TALES OF THE NEW WEST.

Latigo Flint gives us two fine stories this week: The Tale of the Assistant Beekeeper and a short synopsis of his novel about a heroic otter.

PORTLAND MISCELLANEOUS.

That's a nice specific category, isn't it? Welcome to Blog gives us 25 things every Portlander must do. I have not done them all. I suppose I must move back to Portland.

MISCELLANEOUS MISCELLANY.

Afe explains why babies are evil. But they're so cute!

Get your blog bitch-slapped! You can submit it to these people and they will tell you what's wrong with it.

Cool ways to die. And: More cool ways to die.

Woody! points us to a slogan generator. Put something in, get a slogan for it!

Do you want a secret passageway installed in your house? Sure you do! Heretical Ideas links to this site, where you can hire people to come in and install one. How cool - I would love to do this.

This is a great story for so many reasons. First, the headline: "Man says stripped delivered rob-o-gram." Then, the word "Bible study" appear in the story. And the guy's "defense," such as it is, is quite funny, too. So is the name of the business. Lots o' goodness!

Give spam a chance! (The junk e-mail, that is, not the strange food.)

Thomas is onto something: Blog franchising!


Who's that handsome devil? Yes, it's Bill O'Reilly, from 1975! This is from The Smoking Gun via Superfrankenstein.

Scott unveils his ... haiku against teen angst!

Do you love Lost so much you want to wear clothing advertising that fact? The tart shows you where to get it!

A letter from "Jeremy," the most understanding man in the world. Would I lie to you?

Sarcasmo points out movie posters and stills with babies instead of adults. My favorite, I think, is this:

She also links to a Trojan War blog. I haven't read it yet, so I don't know if it's any good, but we're reading the Iliad to Mia right now, so I thought it might be interesting.

Finally, styrofoamkitty points out the best part of Ultraviolet:

Yes, it's Milla Jovovich's ass. How sad. It's still better than xXx, in which Vin Diesel was out-acted by his coat.

That's all for this week. I hope you enjoy them! I'll be taking next week off, because this week is Spring Break (and if you think the idea of elementary and pre-school kids needing a "spring break" is laughable, you and I will get along just fine) and I have both kids with me, so my time will be limited and my sanity may be in question rather quickly. So I won't have time to surf. I'll still post, because that doesn't take that long. Wish me luck!