Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Name:
Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!

28.8.05

Why women shouldn't vote, the Church of Oscar Madison, deconstructing pop lyrics, and porn in underwear! It's all in the links!

It's Sunday, and you know what that means!

First, it wouldn't be a good day unless I plugged my contest! There are only a few days left, so get cracking!

Also, it wouldn't be a Sunday if I didn't tell you to sign my GuestMap. The latest to enter the dazzling world of the GuestMap are Ashley, who has forgiven me for liking Oasis, and the mysterious Anonymous up in Newfoundland. Don't be left behind! Lisa wants to know why she is the only New Zealander on the map. I'd like to say because she's so cool, but if there are any of you reading on the North or South Island, say hello!

Well, I did a lot more surfing than I had the past two weeks this week, so there are links aplenty! I mean it. Enjoy:

Pat Robertson (and the United States) versus Venezuela and their "worse-than-Hitler" dictator, Hugo Chavez.

As you all know, Pat Robertson called for the assassination of the president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, on Monday. I don't want to get too much into it, because it's been done to death, but there are a few interesting things out there in cyberspace. First, of course, he claimed he was misinterpreted, saying he never used the word "assassinate." Of course, that's bullshit, since everyone can see the footage. Then, he apologized. How nice. Of course, a lot of people are defending Robertson. Hugo Chavez is a crazy man, so he must be killed, right? Here is a post that links to some of them. Some interesting arguments about Chavez's rise to power and his abuses, but basically, the defense of Robertson comes down to: The United States is the world's only superpower, and we have the right to kill anyone who threatens our national interest. These people who hate Chavez don't really give a tiny rat's ass about the poor in Venezuela. If they did, they'd care about the poor in the U.S. first. This is an interesting article about why no one is challenging people who say Chavez is worse than Hitler. Finally, thanks to Overcompensating, we know what Pat Robertson really meant:

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More political fun. Because we have wars on terror to fight, people! Added bonus: political cheesecakery!

Speaking of the previous guy who was "worse than Hitler," Saddam Hussein wrote a letter vowing to sacrifice himself for Palestine and poor, suffering Iraq. Now that's love.

I like how the Army is planning for four more years in Iraq. It's always interesting to read what the people who are actually doing the fighting say and what the politicians say. Although, after the White House's promise of a quick war way back when, they probably now think keeping troops in Iraq longer is a good thing, because it gives them a chance to hammer away at the "war on terror" thing.

This is an interesting essay about what might have happened in Iraq if, you know, Bush and his cronies knew what they were doing. I found the link on Fall of the State.

Here's a fun story. Rush Limbaugh totally bashes Cindy Sheehan on his radio show, saying her story is completely false, and then, instead of apologizing (at least Robertson apologized), he tries to deny it ever happened, even deleting the transcript of the show from his web site. What a stupid, stupid human being.

Here's an interesting post on how to change American foreign policy, with a link to this article about bringing the troops home right now.

Ann Coulter, psycho bitch of the right-wing, said that New Yorkers would surrender immediately if the war was being fought here. Given a chance to recant, she repeated it. Good job, Ann. I got this from Donklephant. I really hate to say this, but the only reason ANYONE pays ANY attention to Coulter is because they think she's hot. That's it.

Here's an interesting story: A gay rights TV host chats with Pat Buchanan. Buchanan is fantastic - he's even more insane that the other Pat. Apparently the discussion was rather sedate. Gee, talking to each other instead of calling each other monsters - who would think it would work?

My vast legion of female readers will be happy to know that women's social rights are not critical to the evolution of democracy. It's true! Read the full transcript here. And speaking of women, according to this, women shouldn't have the vote. Among the reasons: women vote for fascists. I guess that's why women voted for Bush! I'm serious, by the way - that's really one of this guy's reasons. The link comes from Thoughts from Kansas, which I found at Science and Politics. You know what? We really should go back to only white, male, property owners having the right to vote. Good times.*

* I'm totally not saying that because I am a white, male, property owner. I'm saying it because it's just so logical that only those sorts can make decisions for the rest of you. Really.

This story has been in some different newspapers, but this is the one I'm linking to. I found it at The Huffington Post. So, basically, women's groups in Mexico are angry that an ad campaign to get men to stop eating rare turtle eggs (they're considered an aphrodisiac in Mexico) feature a hot model with a tag line that says, basically, that her men don't need anything to get them in the mood. Here are a couple of the ads:

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Yes, I am ridiculously shallow in posting pictures of a scantily clad Argentine model, but it seems to me that for men, this is a pretty effective advertising campaign. They're trying to save an endangered species! And sex sells. It's a pretty happy marriage, if you ask me. But then, I'm a pig.

Chris Cope points us to this article, about the next great war: Canada v. Denmark! Oh the humanity! Why will they be fighting? Over some prime real estate:

Frozen islands near the North Pole! Posted by Picasa

Connecticut sues the federal government over No Child Left Behind. Excellent. Not a bad-intentioned act, but, as the state points out, it asks difficult things without giving schools any money to achieve them. Because, you know, Bush got through school fine without money from the feds!

Hey, you know that crazy maverick John McCain, who is willing to stand up to the president on tough issues and for whom a lot of Democrats have respect? Yeah, he thinks teaching intelligent design is fine. Gearing up for a presidential run, do you think? I found this at The Huffington Post.

John Rogers is angry at baby boomers. Boy, he gets some angry comments about it, too.

More anger! The Disgruntled Chemist is, well, very disgruntled about the state of the American media.

The Chemist also links to this story, (in a roundabout way), in which we find out that John Bolton wants to gut the United Nations. Good job, Bush and Co.!

Paul O'Brien talks about a documentary about Bolivian politics. Boring, say you? Bite your tongue! I would love to see this. Someday, perhaps.

Now that we've poisoned ourselves with politics, let's have some fun!

39 questions for Charlie Daniels about "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."

Dorian gives us what really should be the motto of our entire society:

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I know it's been all over the web, but I can't resist the English subtitles in the Chinese version of Revenge of the Sith. How can you? Check out one of the frames:

Genius. More at the link. Posted by Picasa

It's the first and only (probably) anti-Haley Joel Osment site. This guy really hates Haley Joel Osment. This is from Daily Dose of Insanity.


Renee got this in the mail. I never get anything excellent like this. Posted by Picasa

Erinberry stole funny headlines from Jay Leno, so I steal one from her. This is my favorite:

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Dinosaur comic strips! Found at Cosmic Variance.


Do you want to learn all about Fucking, Austria? Of course you do! I found this on Superblog!! The best part? The two small children underneath the sign are saying, "Please, not so fast." Posted by Picasa

The Columnist Manifesto links to Not Without My Handbag, which is a pretty funny site. Check it out!

Gordon links to the Church of Jack Klugman. All hail Quincy!

If you want to know how tough you are, Latigo Flint tells you a good way to find out. He, of course, is very tough.

I've seen this a couple other places, but it's worth linking to again: Klingon fairy tales. I found the link on Mr. Snitch.

Remember the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Of course you do. It's become very popular the past couple of weeks. I, of course, linked to this weeks ago. I'm so cutting-edge! Anyway, now Laura has linked to actual responses from the Kansas School Board about this marvelous deity.

Sean and Amy banter. It may not sound like much, but it's still funny.

Stick figure movie scenes. How many can you guess correctly? I got 14 out of 20 right, and 38 points out of 60. I suck. I got this from Sarcasmo's Corner, where there are many other links too.

Roxy sent me this link, about why sororities suck. Funny stuff. Earlier in the week, because she worries about my surfing abilities, she sent me this, which has to do with using urine in new and exciting ways.

Comic book geekery. So many parents' basements to live in, so few women to sleep with!

I should probably point out that my latest installment of Comics You Should Own is up here. Check it out - you won't be sorry!

Dorian is cranky again. It's always worth reading when Dorian is cranky.

Speaking of cranky, Kevin is often thus. In this post he praises The Fin (I kid you not) and bashes modern superhero comics.

Comics continue to infiltrate the mainstream, and this story is pretty interesting. It still has a weird condescending tone about comics pre- and post-Fredric Wertham. I found it at the Four Color Media Monitor.

Tom Peyer, who is always on the lookout for good stuff, links to Spire Christian Comics. Some of you may have seen the kind of stuff they published, but it's worth checking out again. Here's, I'm sure, a big seller for them:

So awesome. How much is this sucker worth, I wonder? Posted by Picasa

Former Intern Andy explains why the Flash kicks ass. He proves it rather well, I think.

Mike Sterling gives us the scariest picture of Batman ever. Seriously. Look upon it:

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Here's an excellent (and pretty old, so you may have seen it) Superman joke.

Scipio waxes poetic about Dr. Domino. Who, you might ask?

Dr. Domino, man! Posted by Picasa

Continuing with The Absorbascon, as if we needed more proof that Robin is gay, Scipio gives us this picture, and then breaks it down for us:

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More from The Absorbascon! Sometimes, as Scipio points out, it's all too easy:

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Nik gives us a picture of Batman in a kilt:

Disturbing as that is, Nik breaks it down EVEN MORE, for your edification. Posted by Picasa

Brian Cronin posted a really excellent article about the formative years of Oracle. Go check it out. He talks about Suicide Squad #48, in which Barbara Gordon re-entered the DC Universe.

If you read comic book and you don't own Ostrander's Suicide Squad, you really ought to be ashamed of yourself. Posted by Picasa

Pop song lyrics deconstruction category. Yes, it warrants its own category this week!


Chris Cope links to this, which breaks down Gwen Stefani's lyrics. Yes, it's a lame excuse to post a picture of Ms. Stefani, but what the hell. The deconstruction is really funny. Posted by Picasa

And because breaking down one pop song isn't enough, some watery tart deconstructs Mariah Carey.

This week's Signs of the Apocalypse.


This is the cover of Nicole Richie's book, which I stole from here. Now, ignoring how weird and, well, dead she looks in the picture, let's repeat that again: NICOLE RICHIE'S BOOK. There is no God. Posted by Picasa

Remember when playing with Barbie dolls was good, wholesome fun? I sure do! Now, the always-interesting Mike Sterling links to this:

If you're thinking to yourself, "Is that an Elektra Barbie doll, complete with sais?" then you're in touch with the target demographic! Get yours today! Posted by Picasa

Here's a charming story about an Ohio couple who planned to sell a 15-year-old girl for a packet of cocaine in Pittsburgh. If they had been from New York or Los Angeles, they would have been called anti-American. But they're from a flyover state, so the girl must have been a whore. I got this at Bobo's World.

Hey, remember Punky Brewster? Well, just because she has a horrible first name, does she have to inflict it on her child? Seriously, there oughtta be a law.

Onward to the miscellaneous. The true meaning of life is found in the margins!

First, the marginally newsworthy:

Here are some interesting thoughts about Thomas Herrion, the San Francisco lineman who dropped dead last week. Included in the article is this link to an article about the life expectancy of NFL players, which is 55. Think about that. Almost 20 years less than the rest of us.

This is an interesting post about the explosion of the Indian population through people finding their Indian ancestors. It includes a link to this (very long) article about the phenomenon.

This is an interesting article about girls in Swaziland giving up an ancient chastity rite that had been revived because of the threat of AIDS. It's a really interesting peek into a culture that is completely alien to us.


Hey, look! It's a Moog synthesizer! Everyone heard that Robert Moog died, right? If you don't know what a Moog synthesizer is, you obviously never listened to any music in the 1970s or 1980s. I stole the picture from The Beat. Posted by Picasa

Here's an interesting article: fetuses may not feel pain. This, of course, has inflamed the pro-life people, because that stupid "science" doesn't agree with their views. Damned science!

Guess what? After the NCAA valiantly took a stand against offensive school nicknames (I didn't necessarily agree with it, but it was nice to see them asserting themselves), this week they ruled that Florida State, the most vocal of the dissidents, can still use "Seminoles." It wouldn't have anything to do with the football team and the all-powerful Bobby Bowden, would it? Stupid NCAA. If you're going to make a stand, make a goddamned stand.

Even though he survived his assassination attempt, John Paul II should be considered a martyr. Man, they REALLY want to canonize him, don't they?

Hey, you know how all that great, centuries-old art in Europe has caused them to sleep with pigs and smoke unfiltered cigarettes and embrace demonic political systems like socialism? Yeah, I thought so. Well, luckily enough, travel shows are now being labeled "for mature audiences only" for showing statues of corrupting art pieces like David and Venus. Thank all that's holy! I found this at The Giant Fighting Robot Report.

Donklephant links to this, a story about a coronal mass ejection from the sun on Monday. What does it look like? I'm so glad you asked:

Astronomy is awesome. Posted by Picasa

A Phoenix woman is selling an original copy of the Book of Mormon. What's so strange about that, you might ask? She's doing it one page at a time! She is ripping the book apart and selling the pages to individual buyers. Historians and bibliophiles are horrified, of course. The sucker is worth a ton o' money and there aren't many in existence.

Finally, just the good, weird miscellany:

Woody reminds me about Roadside America, which I hadn't visited in a long time. Good stuff.

Learn all about the Infancy Gospel of Thomas. Jesus kills people! Maybe Pat Robertson isn't as scripturally inaccurate as we thought ...

San Nakji went to King Sejong's gravesite:

Who is King Sejong? Well, you'll just have to click over and find out, won't you? Posted by Picasa

Don't you want to know about the history of punctuation? Who wouldn't? This is from Language Hat. This past Monday, in case you didn't know, was National Punctuation Day.

Here's a story about a woman who was offended by her doctor's advice about her obesity. Sigh. The good news is, she no longer seems to be offended and is trying to lose weight. But this is ridiculous.

This story is about a Malaysian man who was arrested with porn in his underwear. I'm serious. Go read it for the fun details!

Waxing poetic about the Euro. Yes, the currency of Europe. Who knew?

Jewel, winsome Alaskan pop star and "poet," has decided her poems about her boyfriend are too steamy to publish. If you flipped through her first book of poetry, A Night Without Armor, you can just substitute the word "sucky" for "steamy." Yeah, that's a cheap shot. Whattaya gonna do?

This is pretty interesting: The origin of Murgatroyd. As in, "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" You all say that, right? This is from Monitor Duty.


Tara Reid has admitted her breasts are fake. I got this picture here, where an excellent question about silicone is asked. Remember when Tara Reid was a mildly entertaining actress? Yeah, me neither. Posted by Picasa


I always thought Thomas Jane was a low-rent Christopher Lambert, and here's proof! Posted by Picasa


The Columnist Manifesto visited a circus museum. As he points out, what they considered freaks back then are serving him coffee today. Posted by Picasa


Pharyngula has a link to a page with covers of pulp magazines, all with an octopus on them! In the same post, he has a bunch of other octopus and squid-related stuff. Posted by Picasa

Well, that's all for this week. I hope you liked them!

6 Comments:

Blogger Roxy said...

You gotta love the Moog synthesizer. There would have been no music in the 80's without it... well, some hair bands would still exist...

And Burgas, I didn't send you the link about the urine because I feared lack-of-links, I sent it because you are weird enough to find it as fascinating as I did...

28/8/05 9:02 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Ann Coulter can "slander" me anytime.

28/8/05 11:43 PM  
Blogger Matthew said...

Mike Luckovich of the AJC did a funny Pat Robertson cartoon, http://www.ajc.com/opinion/content/opinion/luckovich/2005/082405.html.

In an August 27, Houston Chronicle "Outlook" essay, Kathleen Parker wrote

"In an act of inadvertent Christian charity, Robertson has performed a service for the world of Islam, not so much by lending credibility to those who insist the United States is conducting a religious crusade against the Muslim world. But by making vivid the necessary distinction between radicals who exploit religion to advance a political agenda and those who practice their religious beliefs in less dramatic, more peaceful ways.

"When Robertson says something outrageous, we recognize that he speaks for himself and not for all the Christians. We wouldn't condemn Christianity, in other words, just because one man said something extreme, irrational and murderous.

29/8/05 6:31 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

That's icky, Thomas.

29/8/05 6:53 AM  
Blogger Church of Klugman said...

Thank you for the link - may the great Klugman bless you and your descendents with pot roast and cola.

29/8/05 10:43 AM  
Blogger Gordon said...

Greg,

Is Nicole Richie's book written on big paper in red crayon?

30/8/05 3:40 AM  

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