News from around our bizarro world

In lieu of real content, I link to strange news stories! And some commentary, I suppose.

A Baptist church in New York fires a Sunday School teacher for being a woman! She's worked there 54 years, but fuck you, Grandma! Their justification? The Bible says women should not teach men. I like how whenever "Christians" want to be all narrow-minded and ban something or disallow something, they quote the Bible - but never Jesus. In this case, it's Paul. Why? Because Jesus was a lot nicer than these pricks, and if they started using him, they'd have to be nice to women. Eeeewwww!

An Indian restaurant in Bombay (isn't it Mumbai now?) is named "Hitler's Cross"! The owner did it to attract attention, he says. India has only 5500 Jews, and Holocaust knowledge is limited. My question is, Why call it this if Hitler is only a "historical figure" in India and not seen as a monster? He wasn't terribly important to India. And it's not a German restaurant. This guy sounds like a tool.

You know who loves Paris Hilton's debut album? Paris Hilton, of course!

A postcard a mother mailed to her son in 1948 finally reached him. It only took 58 years. No jokes about the mail service, please!

Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia, Washington! There has to be a low-budget horror movie in this, right? If you don't think so, let me repeat three words: Psycho. Killer. Raccoons.

A Swedish television station mistakenly shows a porn movie behind its news broadcast! Nothing fun EVER happens in the U.S.!

Al Sharpton wants black youths to resist "gangster culture." This is a bit more serious. I happen to agree with Sharpton, but maybe Roger or T., as black men who live in Sharpton's neck of the woods, can comment on this better than I can. Doesn't Sharpton cry racism any time a black man is accused of anything? How can he say "gangsterism" is keeping black men from achieving when his self-serving cries of racism might also be doing so? Or am I way off-base? I don't keep up with Sharpton as much as I would if I lived in New York.

Oh, and Pluto is no longer a planet. Our fine newspaper actually suggested a few weeks ago that astronomers were considering dropping Pluto because it had been discovered in Flagstaff in 1930 and not by some old stuffy astronomer in Europe. They were serious.

So there's some news for you as our world spins in the silent void. Aren't you glad you live on such a strange (for now) planet?