Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

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Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!

18.9.06

What have we learned - Week 2

Ugh. We learned that when the Eagles choke away a game, Greg doesn't want to watch any more football! But I will muddle through.

There were a few things that upset me more than anything in the Eagles loss (I refuse to call it a Giants win, because the Eagles LOST IT). First, this is the National Football League, and dominating a team for three quarters doesn't mean much if you can't score more. Philly had opportunities to score more, and they didn't seize all of them. You must score when you have the chance. Second, the game came down to two fumbles, an idiotic penalty, and a stupid blitz. The first fumble was oh so close to being recovered by Michael Lewis at the 5-yard line, and while the Giants may have still come back, it would have been much tougher. It becomes easier to come back when Lewis couldn't fall on the ball, it goes into the end zone, and the Giants recover for a gift touchdown. The second fumble was Brian Westbrook's inside his own 40. The Eagles probably would have had to punt, but at least the ball would have been far away. Then, with 10 seconds left, Trent Cole kicked a Giants player, drawing a 15-yard penalty. WTF? The field goal would have been about 50 yards instead of 35, and the way Jay Feeley kicked it (barely inside the upright), I would have felt good about a 50-yarder drifting left. Cole has had a very good early season, but if I'm Andy Reid, I fine him for that. What the hell are you doing, Trent? Finally, on the last play of the game, the Eagles blitzed. On 3rd and 11, with the ball at the 31. I can't believe the Giants were going to do anything except set up a field goal, and the way the Feeley was kicking, a 48-yarder is no gimme. Why would you blitz, especially because you have a third-string cornerback on one side and a 9-foot tall receiver on the other? Jimmy Johnson had called a great game, getting good pressure on Manning with only four or five rushers, and on the most important play of the game, he blitzed with seven or eight. Burress, who is 9 feet tall, was one-on-one. Even a poor throw by Manning (and it wasn't the greatest) is going to have a chance, because Burress is so tall. Sheesh. The Giants still have lots of problems (too many penalties, 8 sacks given up, Manning can't move in the pocket to save his life) and a tough schedule, while the Eagles get to play San Francisco (no gimme, especially on the road, but a very winnable game) and Green Bay at home before Dallas, so they're in a decent position, but this is the kind of game you need to win if you want to win the division. Damn it. [Update: Jevon Kearse out for the season! Yay! God, what a shitty injury. Please don't spiral downward like last year, Eagles.]

Meanwhile, the Cardinals showed why they always lose 10 games. You have to win a few games on the road, Arizona! Of course, Seattle is looking pretty unimpressive, even though they're 2-0. They got two quick touchdowns and then shut it down. What's up with that?

Terrell Owens broke his finger. Skip Bayless on ESPN thinks he did it much later than he claims, because then he has an excuse for his poor performance. Plus, according to Bayless, now he can make a "miraculous recovery" for the Philadelphia game in three weeks. That sounds a bit far-fetched, but in the self-promotion department, I'd believe almost anything about Owens. Unfortunately, I think the Cowboys are better without him, plus they have a week off and then another week off (against Tennessee), so I don't think it will have an impact.

Hey, I thought the Dolphins were supposed to challenge the Patriots for the division? They're 0-2. Good call picking up Culpepper without Randy Moss, Miami!

At one point Jon Kitna was 20-23 for 230 yards, with a quarterback rating of 102. His team was losing 24-7. I love stats when they mean nothing. Boy, the Bears got a little offense and they look really good. Whenever I turned that game on their defense was pounding somebody.

Early on, I turned on the Houston-Indianapolis game a few times. The first time I turned it on, it was 7-0 Colts. Five minutes later, I turned it on, and it was 14-0. Five minutes later, I turned it on and it was 17-0. It looks like another good regular season for Indy. And another big loss in the playoffs! I want every Houston fan to bring signs to the next home game reading "Where's Reggie Bush?" That would be awesome.

I hope everyone gets to see the highlights of the Panthers-Vikings game, because John Fox, the Carolina coach, should voluntarily pay a fine to the fans if he made the call that lost them the game. Here's the scenario: fourth quarter, not a lot of time left, Minnesota punting from their end zone, Carolina winning 13-6. The punt comes down at about the Carolina 45. The Panthers have a good defense and a decent running game. Drive it down for a while, kick the field goal, play some "D," get the win, right? Ha! The guy who caught the punt ran around for a second, then threw a lateral across the field. It was a poorly thrown ball, bouncing in front of the intended target, who tried to jump on it but succeeded only in kicking it backward toward his goal line, before the Vikings jumped on it at about the 20. To prove the point about Carolina's defense, they held them to a field goal try, even after that debacle. Minnesota faked the field goal (Krys loves fake field goals, and was sad that she missed it) and scored a touchdown. They won the game in overtime. I really hope that John Fox didn't call that play, because he might deserve to be fired. If the receiver came up with it, they should cut him. What an idiot. That might have been a worse loss than the Eagles'.

I didn't see any of the Oakland-Baltimore game, because, let's face it, it was the Oakland-Baltimore game. But it was quite the beatdown. I'm glad Andrew Walter got into the game, because he's an ASU guy and I like ASU guys (I live here, after all), but he got hammered. It's not pretty in Oakland, and it's not going to get better any time soon.

I'm sure everyone will talk about how great it is that Jim Mora has turned Michael Vick loose and now the Falcons will dominate because their running game is so good, and sure, it's fun to watch Vick zip around and pile up yardage. The question becomes: what do the Falcons want? If they want to win regular season games and fill the stadium, what Vick is doing is fine, because it's exciting. If they want to win a Super Bowl, what he's doing is not going to help. Until he proves that he can win this way in January and February against a good defense, this is all flash and little substance. It's fun to watch, though.

If the Packers' defense doesn't get any better, the coach may have to bench Nancy-Boy Favre. They got shredded yesterday, and even though it gives St. Brett a lot of chances to throw and pass Dan Marino's touchdown record, at some point, the rookie head coach (which is what the experts always say: "No way a rookie head coach benches Favre") will have a choice: does he bench Nancy-Boy and look toward his own future, or does he keep Favre and maybe get fired because the team sucks so bad? Tough choice!

Apparently the Browns popped Chad Johnson late in the game and bloodied him up. Good job, Cleveland! I was watching a little of this game, and I turned it on late to see a Brown player running an interception back. I checked the score: Cincinnati 34, Cleveland 10. Why was Cincinnati still throwing the ball? Sure, this is pro football, and I think pros should be able to deal with getting beat up bad, but that's why I don't mind Johnson getting roughed up a bit. Cincinnati looks like one of the top teams in the AFC, but they better watch out, because Cleveland, despite being a lousy team, is kind of tough, and the Bengals have to play them again, in Cleveland. What's up with your boys, Woody? Shouldn't they win a playoff game before they start getting uppity?

I saw none of the late games, because I was too depressed. St. Louis lost in San Francisco, which is why I worry about next week's Eagles game. The 49ers are lousy, but they play hard, and the game is in Frisco. Please, Philadelphia, don't take them lightly!

Did everyone see the touchdown catch by Jerricho Cotchery of the Jets? His team was down 24-0 and he scored on a 71-yard pass, and the Patriots are lucky that didn't inspire the Jets to a win, because he should have been tackled when he caught the ball. Whoever hit him on New England went for the big "highlight reel" play instead of simply wrapping their arms around him, he almost went down, but managed to regain his balance and went the remaining 40 yards or so. Too many defenders hit guys with their shoulder pads instead of trying to get their arms around them. And that's what leads to long touchdowns.

Denver 9, Kansas City 6 ... in overtime. Jesus, did that set the game back 50 years?

One thought about college football: this morning Colin Cowherd called Troy Smith of Ohio State the best quarterback in the country. You might not think this is strange, until you remember that Cowherd is the biggest Notre Dame dick-sucker in the country, going so far as to call Charlie Weis one of the three smartest men ... in human history. Earlier this year he was all over the Brady Quinn bandwagon. Yeah, how's that going for you, Colin? This is why I love homers, because they're consistent. I don't blame Green Bay fans for still loving Nancy-Boy Favre - he's their guy. I blame the coaching staff and the management for not being able to move on, but I don't blame the fans. I love Donovan McNabb. It helps that he's one of the best five quarterbacks in the NFL, but I still love him. These "experts" on television and radio are always proclaiming someone the greatest, and then changing their minds the next week. It's annoying. What happens, Colin, if Penn State goes in an beats Ohio State? Yes, I know it's not going to happen - I'll be happy if the Lions lose by less than three touchdowns - but stranger things have happened! Who will be the next "best" quarterback in the country next week? Make up your mind!

Anyway, most impressive win: I don't really want to say the Giants, since the Eagles gave the game away. I guess the Bears, since Detroit looked decent on defense last week. Or Buffalo, going on the road to Miami and winning.
Least impressive win: Denver. Good God, get more than three field goals against that defense!
Most impressive loss: Tough one. The Jets showed a lot of spirit trying to come back.
Least impressive loss: Lots of contenders. Tampa, Detroit, Oakland, Tennessee all played awful on offense and defense. That means blowouts. But it might be Carolina for just sheer stupidity.

Next week: I will probably be hurting from another Penn State spanking. Yikes, I don't look forward to that game.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Harvey Jerkwater said...

As a Bills fan, I must say "WOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Also, "WOOOOO!" With a bit of "WOOOOO!"

Or, as was cogently phrased by Johann Gottlieb Fichte in his work Wissenschaftslehre nova methodo, "WOOOOO!"

Going into a season where a final record of 6-10 would be considered overachievement, for them to spank the hyped and loathed Dolphins like that was ever so sweet. The defense started four rookies and still made the Dolphins look like a Division I-AA team. Heh. Granted, a lot of it revolves around the Miami o-line sucking amazing amounts of ass, but still. Woo. I have dreams that the Bills may actually hit 7-9 this year. It's not likely, but in a world where Meat Loaf could mount a successful musical comeback, anything is possible.

The Ravens/Raiders game should have been shown on Comedy Central. Good times. Aaron Brooks fumbling and losing the ball on consecutive snaps? Not a yard of offense from Oakland until the second quarter? Throw in Jerry Porter's idiotic antics last week, Art Shell's bizarro coaching style, and the inevitable Randy Moss Freakout, and man...has there ever been such an entertaining train wreck in modern football history? Sure, other teams have sucked more, but not with this much flair.

Every year, pundits predict the revival of the Cardinals. Every year, they are wrong. One day, through sheer happenstance, I'm sure they'll turn it around. On that day, I hope the pundits don't crow too loudly. Lest we the fans remind them of how many years they made that prediction wrongly.

18/9/06 1:24 PM  
Blogger Roger Owen Green said...

This is Giants country, so I'm not unhappy, though your analysis is correct.
John Fox used to be an assistant for the Giants. I'm not saying that he didn't make that bonehead decision, but it would be very uncharacteristic.
And boy are you right about Denver/KC. Oy.

18/9/06 5:03 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Good to see you're excited, Harvey. I guess it's been while in Bills country since you could crow.

I heard sometime today that John Fox "agreed with the play," which makes me think he didn't call it, but he's backing up his special teams coach. He also said something about running it in practice, so he knew it existed. Nice to see him stand up for the guy. Now he needs to have him beaten with a sockful of quarters.

18/9/06 6:58 PM  
Blogger Brandon said...

Did you see the Louisville/ Miami game?

WOOT!!!

19/9/06 9:25 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

I didn't see it, Brandon, but I watched many highlights. Good times. I loathe Miami. If I talked about all the college football news, this post would be three times as long and take me three times as long to write. So I stick to just mentioning Penn State briefly, because they're my team. But it was very sweet to see the U get smacked down, especially after they danced on the logo on the field. That's classy!

19/9/06 9:37 AM  

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