High in carbs, high in cholesterol, high in calories, high in protein - it must be the manly links, packed with red meat goodness!
PEOPLE WHO READ THE BLOG AND HAVE HAD LIFE-ALTERING THINGS HAPPEN TO THEM RECENTLY.
That's a category you won't see here too often! Anyway, Gordon just got a new job. Go congratulate him. Gordon likes to pretend he doesn't read this blog, but he's very nice about linking to my posts. Good job, Gordon! Good luck with the new position!
Meanwhile, Nik is moving to New Zealand. I'm consumed with envy. Consumed! Whenever I think Nik has abandoned me for a more glamorous blog, he leaves excellent one-word comments that sum up awesome movies perfectly. Have fun in NZ, Nik. Keep us updated!
ALL THE FUN STUFF THAT FITS!
You know that I'll be taking classes at the Suharto Financial Institute. If I'm ever going to be a good dictator, I should learn from the best! I found this at Crash Landing.
A hard, uncompromising look at Skittles: the strippers of candy.
Subdivided we stand continues to award-winning series: I read Leviticus so you don't have to. More parts of the series can be found here.
When the company diversity day goes horribly wrong.
Five good things to figure out while you're still young. And, as a bonus: Five reasons the terrorists hate us, apart from, you know, the whole freedom thing.
I keep telling you to go read Andy's blog, if only for the Tuesday Top Ten. This week: Top Ten rejected Olympic sports. I bet you thought they were all already included!
When a Latigo Flint post begins, "The nice thing about falling is that no one cares if you swear," you know it's going to be good! The Swedes are just an added bonus.
The horror that is ... the Burger King!
The GayProf tells us the real meaning of letters of recommendation.
Roger links to the 50 worst funeral eulogies. Good stuff.
Quit Complaining About Your Job! I was going to steal one of the pictures, but it would lose its visceral impact if you see it here. Just click on the link and gaze in amazement. You'll know which one I'm talking about. This is from Mister Snitch.
Jeffrey Rowland and his love for/obsession with Parker Posey. I hear you, brother.
Superblog!! praises alcohol. Don't we all at one point or another?
THE MAYHEM OF THE FAMILY UNIT.
Preparing your family for company - harder than it sounds!
Mr. Nice Guy discovers ... subtly sexual children's songs. Won't someone think of the children?!?
Stuntmother gives us yet more wisdom from children.
ITEMS ABOUT THE HIT TELEVISION PROGRAM 24.
The 24 rules of the 24-verse. Very funny, and oh so true. This is from Respectful Insolence.
Woody! brings us both actual 24 transcripts and things Jack Bauer would never say.
DELVING INTO POLITICS.
Here's a post lamenting the 2006 mid-term elections because the Republicans will lose. Let's hope! This is interesting because it's coming from a pretty hard core Republican.
Mah Two Cents brings us a very disturbing little nugget about the next elections and wars that might be in the offing. It's in, of all places, one of Roger Ebert's dispatches from the Sundance Film Festival. Read the article and see if you can find it - it's kind of frightening.
This is charming: Halliburton exposes its workers in Iraq to contaminated water and ignores the problem when they find out about it. This is from Balloon Juice.
Bush is an American Hitler. This guy is really angry.
Surprisingly enough, the government is allowing the energy companies to screw the taxpayers again. How nice. This time it's natural gas companies. I found this on Donklephant.
Is Spielberg's Munich being Swift-boated?
The real reason The West Wing was cancelled. It's all a vast conspiracy!
Bring back internment camps - this time for people who question our president's policies! Excellent. Because the Japanese and American Indians aren't bitter at all from their experiences. This is from Strike the Root.
I's sure you all know that the Canadians, who think the United States is doing so well, elected a George Bush-liking guy for their new prime minister. Chris McLaren gives us various fun quotes from the new leaders of Canada. They seem like level-headed individuals!
It turns out the White House did know about the threat of Hurricane Katrina. How nice.
Matthew talks about "shock probation." If you guessed that it's something done in Texas, well, no points for you, because it's kind of obvious once you read about it.
Shakespeare's Sister gives us another reason why health insurance providers are evil. I'd like to summarize it, but it would make me angry. Just go read it.
The vice-president of Venezuela says that John McCain can go to hell. We need more politicians like that guy! I found this at Me4President.
Thomas links to an article about all the money spent on blocking gay marriage. He makes a good point: don't churches have better things to do with their money, like feeding the poor?
Did you know the Patriot Act has created what is basically a Gestapo? Isn't that swell? This is from Strike the Root.
Avedon Carol wants the Democrats to attack the Republicans on national security, and she makes her points to prove it.
Dave wonders what ever happened to the Social Security crisis?
Stop the presses! I actually agree with George Bush about something! And I'm not kidding! Bush is reluctant to bail out automobile industry. I can't believe I agree with that. I'm so depressed.
The Iraqi constitution protects against monitoring of phone calls. Excellent that they care more about it than we do. This is from Andrew Sullivan.
Ann Coulter jokes about poisoning Justice Stevens. I'll type that again: Ann Coulter is making jokes about killing a Supreme Court Justice. If you don't think the media in the country leans to the right, imagine Michael Moore saying that about Bush, or, I don't know, Harry Belafonte calling Bush a terrorist. Can you imagine the shitstorm? But Ann gets a free pass. I first saw this at Ace of Spades, a very right-wing blog but who makes some good points about offensive jokes. More thoughts about Coulter are at Orcinus.
The Washington state legislature passed a gay rights bill. Good for you, Washington! I don't see the world ending. Maybe I missed it.
Reasons why the Democrats should filibuster Samuel Alito that have nothing to do with Alito himself.
POLITICS IN OUR SCHOOLS. BECAUSE IT'S FUN TO FUCK WITH THE KIDS.
Man, all those lousy fundamentalists trying to get their beliefs into the public schools really burn my britches. Except this time, they're Hindu fundamentalists in California. This post has many links to the big story.
Just so we don't think religious crazies are all Republican, Democratic senators in Georgia and Alabama are trying to introduce the Bible into public schools.
Following up on the whole "crisis with boys in school" thing that is reaching a boiling point, from Education Wonks comes this story, about the city of Philadelphia denying a charter for an all-boys' school. They say it's because they don't want to discriminate against girls. I don't think you'll be surprised when I say that Philadelphia already has two all-girls' charter schools.
And you knew it was coming: A law suit by a high school student (helped by his attorney father) that alleges a bias against boys exists in his school. I found this at Mister Snitch. Unsurprisingly, Shakespeare's Sister has some excellent thoughts.
LET'S CLEANSE OUR PALETTES WITH SOME COMIC-BOOK GOODNESS!
Kevin breaks down the covers of Fables.
Chris Sims thinks he has read the greatest comic book ever. It might be, because it stars this guy:
Sleestak points out Mary Jane Watson-Parker's sordid past. It's shocking!
Swamp Thing shows everyone how much he loves the environment.
NEW YORK SUBWAY MISCELLANY.
Here's a fun story: Eight people get arrested (and later released) for wearing no pants on the New York subway. Turns out it was some kind of weird theater group stunt. But still - another reason why New Yorkers are strange.
A dead man rides the New York subway for hours. Nice that someone noticed. I found this at See You At The Yard, Meat.
Roger has this interesting story about how Craigslist is destroying the newspapers.
Meanwhile, this has to be the best Craigslist post ever.
This is a weird blog: a list of drugs the guy takes every day. I found this at Goin' Ape.
I know you're just dying to find a blog that is devoted exclusively to photographs of Marilyn Monroe:
Well, here it is!
Jon shows us a blog totally devoted to bacon. You read that right!
WHERE TO BUY STUFF.
You know you want this shirt:
Buy it here. I found the link at Sarcasmo's Corner.
Toner Mishap brings us the marketing geniuses at Bling H20:
Using sex to sell ... water. Now that's brilliant!
Do you want an ugly portrait? Who doesn't! Go here for a fine selection.
I'm sure you're all aware that Bolivia just got a new president. Come on, people, keep up! Ashley shows us the new Bolivian president's hip sweater and, of course, links to where you can get your own!
Bitter Cinema links to Kino Art - your one-stop shop for movie poster!
Scott Adams shows how one of his "Dilbert" cartoons got edited. Pretty stupidly, actually.
Go Fug Yourself brings us:
Bai Ling at the Sundance Film Festival. Oh, the horror.
According to this, 23 January is the saddest day of the year. According to Stephen Colbert, 24 January was. Whatever. Both days in Mesa: in the 60s with plenty of sunshine. Not terribly depressing.
As a public service, San Nakji shows us what it will look like when the sun explodes.
Foma brings us the story of the 41-year-old hooker with a PhD. It's a strange tale, to say the least. And because one can't go through life web-less these days, here's her web site. Needless to say, it's not safe for work.
This is interesting: Apparently you can't quote the pope without paying a fee. How very Christian of him. This is from Laura's blog.
Some Watery Tart gives us the picture of the day:
She explains it all, I promise!
Interesting post about the Arab phallus. No, I'm not kidding. I got this from Jim Henley's blog.
This is bizarre. I really don't want to ruin it for you. Nothing disgusting, I promise. I found it at Mister Snitch.
Technically, this post is about Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern, for you non-comic-book-buying people), but I really like it because of this:
A pillow shaped like Racquel Welch. Where can I get one of those?
Because the Internet is full of geeks (me included), we get a list of the top ten sexiest female robots. Rosie the Robot is on it, so beware!
MySpace is weird. This is also not safe at all for work. I got this at YesButNoButYes.
Haven't we all discovered a $295,000 lump of ambergris in Australia, right? And because we didn't know what ambergris is beyond the fact that it's whale vomit, we moved on. If you want to catch up on ambergris, go here.
Goin' Ape brings us this bizarre story: A woman goes into the hospital to give birth, gets her arms and legs amputated, and the hospital won't give her a good reason why. Insane.
Big news from the world of biology: Scientists discover the world's smallest fish!
Check out the little fella!
This is pretty shocking: Sex calms your nerves before public speaking. Never doubt the Farrelly Brothers! This comes from Ace of Spades.
A New Jersey male has triumphed: he can wear a skirt to high school!
Can you find the penguin?
Monitor Duty points us to this site comparing Spinal Tap to other, actual metal bands. It's funny, but then he disses Def Leppard. How dare he!
This post is bizarre. Just wacky. Be warned - it's the site of a New York escort, so it's a bit risqué. And while you're there, you can check out the advertisements for some other escorts. That's a good way to waste your time!
Dave talks about the number 23. Would I kid you?
Two Zimbabweans wear loin cloths in public, get fined. We need more people in this country wearing loin cloths to the mall.
THIS DESERVES ITS OWN WONDERFUL CATEGORY, SO HERE IT IS.
It's been all over the Internet, but you still may have missed it. As the link says, if you watch it, you may die from an overdose of awesome. But take the chance - the David Hasselhoff video for "Hooked On A Feeling"! It's quite literally indescribable. Like I said, everyone is linking to it, but I saw it first at Red. Hot. Mamma.
I can't top that, so we'll end it there. I hope you have fun trawling the underbelly of cyberspace! Pictures tomorrow - Bryce Canyon, people! Gorgeous stuff.