Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


This time ... [may] be the last time ... that [I] will [link] like this¹

Whatever could Greg mean by that title? Well, I'm just setting y'all up for what might be a disappointing time - the time when I don't find links anymore. I'll still try to scour the world wide web for all this goofy, fun stuff, but Krys is going back to work tomorrow, and I will be trying to handle two small children on my own without, you know, burning anything down. They're usually pretty good at sleeping, so I may have time to surf, but I will have a lot to do, so it might not happen. I tried to go out with a bang today if today is indeed the last time I'll do this, so I hope you enjoy everything. We have torture stories, Lenin statues, The Lorax, bloody comic book covers, which X-Man you are, theories about the very nature of humanity, Harry Potter porn, the scariest thing a man can ever hear, more signs of the Apocalypse, the greatest headline ever, and of course, gratuitous cheesecake. No nudity, but definitely objectifying women. It's all absolutely necessary, I assure you!

Before we get to it, if you haven't already, sign my GuestMap. As my campaign to take over the world gains steam, I will have to know who I can trust. For that I will consult my GuestMap. Don't be left behind!

Now we're off!

Abuse of power stuff. Because what's the point of having power if you don't abuse it?

Hey, look! The Toledo police helped cover up sex abuse by the Catholic Church! How nice. This is from Javelin blog.

Good news! The FCC has deregulated DSL service! What does this mean? It means that if you have high-speed Internet access through something other than your phone company, enjoy it now because it may not last. Stupid consumer choice! I found this on the Huffington Post.

So Bush pushed through John Bolton, right? But that's his prerogative, right? Well, yes it is, but firedoglake reminds us of the time that Clinton tried the same thing, and Richard Holbroke refused to go because he hadn't been approved. Hmmmm ...

Here's a story about a truly crazy Ohio pastor. I got this from Bobo's World.

Ah, torture. It's all-American these days! Here, here, and here have all the latest news about our torture policy. How nice. I found all of these on Andrew Sullivan, while Balloon Juice has yet more on torture. Who gets the Medal of Freedom for allowing this?

Earlier this year Patrick Haab became a minor national hero when he arrested 7 illegal immigrants here in Arizona. He gained a lot of support because he was an Iraq veteran. Yeah, well, it turns out he never served in Iraq and was removed from duty when he told a commanding officer that he wanted to "kill all of the camel jockeys," including a Muslim soldier in his own unit. I really can't add anything else, can I?

Other political junk. You decide whether it's abuse of power or not.

George Pataki, the governor of New York, says he will veto use of the "morning-after" pill. That's just swell.

German politicians want to reassemble the statue of Lenin that used to stand in Berlin. This is after destroying crosses put up to honor people escaping Communism. It's been, what? sixteen years since the Wall fell. Yeah, with the historical memory in the world today, that's long enough to forget what a shithole East Germany used to be. I was there back in the day, and it wasn't too pleasant. I remember having a picnic in (I think) Austria while soldiers in gun towers across the border watched us intently. Charming. These people who want to do this were probably part of the ruling elite, and miss the good old days. Idiots.

Rick Santorum opens his mouth again and says birth control is evil. I love Santorum. He's crazy.

Re-interpreting The Lorax as a cry for private ownership of public lands. This comes from Catallarchy.

Bradley Herring is angry. He rants about the Republican "culture of life" in these two posts, the first of which is about abortion, while the second is about the death penalty.

Here are some fun numbers about the war and Bush's vacation times.

Boy, that's not a good-looking graph! Oh wait, it's Bush's poll numbers! John Cole has this and another graph too. Yes, I know Bush doesn't care about poll numbers and this means very little. It's still fun to rub salt in the wound occasionally. Posted by Picasa

Education stuff. Because everyone wants to know if our children is learning.

The big news of the week on the education front is Bush, and there are lots of discussion about our president and intelligent design all over the web. This is an interesting post about it, plus a link to his own science advisor dismissing ID. Meanwhile, John Rogers has a funny and angry rant about ID, and Bill O'Reilly thinks ID is cool. Of course, he also wants to execute everyone in Gauntanomo Bay. I got both of these nuggets from the Rude Pundit. Pharyngula has a cartoon about the issue that's very funny. I would have stolen it, but for some reason I can't. As this is his bread and butter, he's been ranting about it all week, but here's his response to calls for "being reasonable" about intelligent design. Very interesting reading. Finally, Tom Peyer explains the news with comic-book covers, including this one:

"Bush wants intelligent design taught in schools" is his caption. Oh, the insanity! Posted by Picasa

Education Wonks has a couple of links to two posts by a teacher who has been threatened by a commenter on his blog. She did not like the link in the first post, which shows really ugly naked people. It brings up a lot of ethical questions about what a public employee can post on a private blog.

The Community College Dean looks at academic salaries and house prices. It's a sad state of affairs, frankly.

Roxy is sad and a more than a little angry about the state of higher education in the country. This bugs me, because I know about whom she's writing. It makes me want to kick those people who say we shouldn't penalize the rich just for being rich, and that there's enough wealth to go around. Yes, that's true, but show me ONE rich person who didn't get a break somewhere along the line. Rich people inherit their money or make it, and if they made it, they got help from the government or someone else. So why is it so difficult to help out students who want to go to school but can't because they don't have the money. Grrrr.

Comic books. Some day we will all read them. You might as well start now!

This is an index to incredibly bloody Chinese comic book covers. Like this one:

The link comes from Layne, who also has a bunch of other fun links. Posted by Picasa

Ten great comic book plot disasters. So true, so true.

Dave discusses Geekonomics.

Stilt-man answers your questions!

More proof that Batman and Robin are gay! And yes, I stole this picture, and that's pretty much the whole post, but if you want to click on the link, you can check out Scipio's excellent caption for it. Posted by Picasa

Goin' Ape directs us to Which X-Man are you? Here's my result:
You scored as Jean Grey. Jean Grey is likely the most powerful X-Man. She loves Cyclops very much but she has a soft spot for Wolverine. She's psychic so she can sense how others are feeling and tries to help them. She also has to control her amazing powers or the malevolent Phoenix entity could take control of her and wreak havoc. Powers: Telekinetic, Telepathic

Jean Grey
















Emma Frost






Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with

Laugh and the world laughs with you - the funny crap.

The Ninth through Sixteenth Rules of Fight Club.

Carol explains what will make her never be friends with you.

Former Intern Andy has a thought, and it's a disturbing one. But what if it's true????

The greatest movie review ever (it's for The Dukes of Hazzard, in case you're wondering). I got this at Heretical Ideas.

Danielle ponders the "Negro nod."

Latigo Flint talks perfect numbers and explains how to avoid getting bitten by a moray eel.

Scott at Polite Dissent gives us this sign:

Now that's good advice! Posted by Picasa

As a public service, Tom Peyer points out the porn in Harry Potter. A shocking exposé!

A homeless woman touches mr. nice guy's daughter and he takes a bad taxi ride.

Rhodester talks about the 1970s. The funniest part is when he talks about the MTV show with today's kids dropped into the 1970s environment.

Josh interprets Mark Trail for you! Because isn't that what we all really want?

Do I look fat? Oh, the scariest question for men everywhere! I found this on Frothing at the Mouth.

Unsettling fortune cookie messages. Yes, but wouldn't they be more fun than the ones we usually get?

The quote of the day is from P.J. O'Rourke. I think O'Rourke is wildly funny. You may disagree.

Blogs I have found recently, plus other blog-related crap. Because I don't already have enough to read on the stupid Internets.

Homo Sum. Another blog with a cool Latin name!

Howard Dean hates cats. Kind of limiting, you might say? Well, there are other things there.

Kilroy is here. I can't figure out if this is a joke or not - this guy is happily married, and he has a hot 19-year-old female houseguest. Sounds like a letter to Penthouse, doesn't it? It's interesting reading, to say the least (and no, nothing dirty). I put this in here before I read the latest entry, in which he admits adultery. I just don't know if it's true or not.

Lennon and McCarthy. Fun fiction blog.

Danica's blog. Danica stopped by the comics blog and implored people to check her out. She's lonely. Go say hello.

Spoilt! Comic books boiled down to pure plot. Good if you don't feel like buying everything. Spoilers, obviously.

Life as I don't know it ... Photos of celebrities with rude commentary. Because who doesn't like to make fun of celebrities?

This guy is walking from London to Rome. I found this on Nick's blog.

Peter David, writer of stuff, found himself on this list of quirky blogs. Check them out!

In case all those blogs depress you, you can read about blog depression. Very funny. I found this on the Crocodile Caucus.

Gratuitous cheesecake miscellany. Because every once in while I'm a pig.

So Charlize Theron is starring in the Aeon Flux movie. Why anyone would want to make an Aeon Flux movie is beyond me, but that's neither here nor there. Now, Heidi McDonald brings us news that Ms. Theron is using her Oscar-winning clout to change the skimpy outfit from the cartoon. Quoth Charlize: "When you're playing with aspects of sexuality, certain things have to be hidden. That's what my mother always used to tell me."

Yeah, okay, Charlize. Ms. Theron, of course, has been nude in at least two movies. I guess her mother didn't talk to her until much later in her career. Just shut up, Charlize. Posted by Picasa

Would you deny these ladies the chance to show off their assets? Well, apparently, the U.S. isn't the only place where skin is frowned upon! The European Union has declared war on busty barmaids, all for their own protection, of course (from skin cancer caused by the sun, you know). It's actually going to be put into law unless the chick-oglers from Bavaria to London get together and fight! I found the story here, and you can check out some more barmaids at the link above or here, if you're interested. Some are definitely not work-safe. Posted by Picasa

This week's Signs of the Apocalypse.

Two articles about a strip club in Los Angeles is advertising with a billboard that says "Vaginas 'R Us." I'm as liberal as the next guy, and I don't think he should be forced to take it down, but what happened to common community ethics? I guess if you're running a strip joint they went out the window years ago.

Brian Williams, the anchor of the NBC Nightly News, thinks that the president declares war. If he doesn't know, why should anyone else? Stupid media. Article 1, Section 8, Clause 11. Learn it, Mr. Williams!

Buy this thong! Look, PETA is pretty wacky already, but this is marketed to girls. Doesn't anyone there have a dirty mind and say, "Uh, maybe this isn't the smartest thing to put on a thong marketed to girls"? This comes, via a roundabout way, from Catallarchy. Posted by Picasa

Miscellaneous news. It's not all about politics, people!

Here's the story of an 11-year-old girl who threw a rock at a kid and was charged with a felony. Luckily, common sense prevailed (sort of) and her lawyers plea bargained to get the charge reduced. I don't think kids should be throwing rocks at each other, but a felony? Really?

Who wouldn't want a robot doctor? This I got from Catallarchy.

A woman tries to open a plane door while it is still at 4000 feet. That's some messed-up shit.

I'll bet you didn't know that bacteria once froze the earth! It's nice to see humans aren't the only ones who can engage in a little global warming. I got this from Donklephant.

Fun miscellaneous. Cheer up - not everything sucks!

This is the greatest headline ever. I would spoil it for you, but it's more fun to discover it for yourself. This is from Ace of Spades.

This is fun for a couple of seconds. Then it's annoying.

Jim talks about his love for The Ice Pirates. Why should you care? Because it's The Ice Pirates, man!

My cousin Kim is now in Italy hanging out in sunflower fields, and she's actually updated her travelogue. This entry is about her heroin use. Oh, I'm kidding! But some people suspect she may be using heroin ... Find out why! Oh, the tension! Posted by Picasa

Here's a picture of the world's largest mud building. It's just about the coolest thing there is. It's a mosque in Mali, by the way. I stole this photo from San Nakji's World. I hope he doesn't mind. Posted by Picasa

This is fun. Laura's troll goes on a day trip east of Seattle. Pretty pictures.

Is there freedom from homosexuality? That's what we all want to know, isn't it? I found this fun site on Goin' Ape.

This is pretty fascinating. Here is a list of groups in history identified by the color of their clothing.

It's a giant piece of celery at a minor-league baseball game. Yes, celery. Trust me.

Can you spot a fake smile? I got 16 out of 20 right. I found this on Donklephant.

This is an interesting idea about sharing albums. You could win a whole lot of them! I found this on Dancing the Polka with Miss El Cajon.

Chris Cope also gives us pictures of himself. I like the pirate the best!

The Baboon Bellows links to Blue Q, where you can get such fine products like Mullet Gum! You know you want it!

Johanna has been watching - and loving - Remington Steele on DVD. Another fun show.

I'm sure everyone will be watching tonight when E! airs this reality show about the Playboy mansion, right? According to this, it's not really that interesting.

Don't take your dogs to the Overtoun Estate Bridge in Milton, Scotland. Apparently dogs tend to jump off the bridge to their deaths. It's been happening for some time now and no one knows why.

The ladies can't wait to get their hands on the Venus vibrance pulsating razor! It helped Gillette post very good numbers in the last quarter. This is from Donklephant.

Lindsay Lohan has hired a personal trainer because, in her words, "I want my boobs back." Ah, that Lindsay - always so witty! I found this on the Huffington Post.

Speaking of boobs, why do men have nipples? There's a new book out that will answer that and other questions you might have. I found this also on the Huffington Post.

Finally, from the ever-reliable Huffington Post, we get this story, which claims moderate drinking makes you smarter. Those wacky Aussies - always looking for a way to drink more!

And if you drink more, you have to pee more, right? Fret not - the Aussies have figured out a way around that, too! There are plans to build a toilet on Mount Kosciusko, Australia's highest mountain. It's actually not a bad idea - it's a popular spot, and it would stop people from, you know, doing their business right out there in the open where God intended. But ask yourself a question:

Would this really be improved by sticking an outhouse on top of it? Posted by Picasa

Last but not least, this is kind of cool. These people can find your grade school photographs for you! I used to be cute back in the day. I found this on Kelly Brown's blog.

So that's that. If I don't get a chance to do this again, I'd like to think I brought some rich knowledge to you that was absolutely essential for you to live a fulfilling life. I know a bunch of people have linked to these Sunday marathons, so thanks. I'll try to keep up - the Internet is a weird place, and it's getting weirder all the time!

Picture day tomorrow, unless the Demon Children have killed me and feasted on my still-warm flesh.

¹ Free pie to anyone who knows which song's lyrics I mangled in the title of this post and who sings it!²
² There is no pie.³
³ Yes, I'm aware this post got pushed down a bit. I guess it's the big pictures I used. I tried to fix it, but it didn't work. Because, you know, I suck.


Blogger Roger Owen Green said...

Pataki's not running for re-election, he announced, so speculation is that he wants to run for Prez in 2008, but he needs more conservative credentials to get the nomination- voila, veto the Plan B pill.

8/8/05 6:58 AM  

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