Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


I confess

Forgive me, my cool readers, for I have sinned. I confess ...

I always liked Bon Jovi, Cinderella, some of Tesla,¹ and even Winger's first album. I have never liked the Pixies, the Replacements, and the Smiths.

I have never seen Raging Bull or The King of Comedy. I have never seen any movies by Fellini, Bergman (Ingmar), Buñuel, and the only Kurosawa I have ever seen is Ran. On the other hand, I have seen Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure more times then is probably healthy, and can quote large sections of it. ("Put them in the Iron Maiden." "Excellent!" "Execute them!" "Bogus!")

Speaking of which, I believe Keanu Reeves is a wildly underrated actor and does not deserve the bad rep he has. Go watch My Own Private Idaho, Parenthood, and River's Edge.

I have never read anything by Dostoevsky. The only Tolstoy I have read is War and Peace, and that's because it was assigned. The only Dickens I have ever read is Great Expectations, and that's also because it was assigned.

I enjoyed The Da Vinci Code. No, it's not great literature by a long shot, but I enjoyed it.

When I was a child, my favorite television shows were: The Dukes of Hazzard, Real People, Manimal, Square Pegs, The A-Team, Knight Rider, Battle of the Planets, and Star Blazers. In fact, my two best friends and I used to stop playing outside every day at 3:30 so we could watch Star Blazers.

I have never liked All in the Family. I just don't find it funny.

I got laid for the first time on my 18th birthday. I realize this may destroy my rep as a ladies' man, but that's the way it is. I had opportunities before then, but I wasn't all that interested. It just seemed too much effort.

I can't skateboard, hacky sack, shoot a basketball all that well, work a yo-yo, and I have never been that into video games. They bore me. I have also never played Dungeons and Dragons. I thought it was too geeky even for me.

I have done very few illegal things in my life. I have smoked marijuana, but not in a long time. I got drunk for the first time during my sophomore year in college. Before that I was always the designated driver. I never had any interest in drinking prior to that. I stole lawn ornaments once.

I got caught cheating in high school once. I cheated on my summer assignment for an Advanced Placement class in European History. To this day I don't know why I did it. Three of us did the assignment together, and we didn't do a very good job of it. I was ridiculously embarrassed, punished severely, and never cheated again. It's totally not worth it.

Without bringing in my marriage and my family life, I am proudest of: singing in the All-Eastern choir in Boston during my senior year; studying abroad in Australia; making the dean's list five times in eight college semesters; getting a short story published in a tiny magazine; finishing my Master's Degree; moving to Oregon when I was 22 and had no job prospects.

Ah, confession is good for the soul.

One thing that's nice in Arizona in the summer is the fabulous lightning storms. We had a doozy last night - lightning ripping across the sky, rain pouring down, an autumn-like chill in the air ... Today it's unbelievably humid, but for a while it was nice. I wonder how our new arrival liked it.

¹ Tesla will be in Roseburg, OR, on 12 August. I will bet Nik has his tickets already!


Blogger Harvey Jerkwater said...

There is no shame in loving Bill and Ted.

"You medieval dickweed! You killed Ted!"

Me, I love Bergman and Kurosawa, but there's always time for lines like "Genghis Khan loves Twinkies for their excellent sugar rush."

Preferring Tesla to the Replacements is like preferring cheez puffs to a Philly cheesesteak: I can't understand it, but hey, whatever. All I can do is nod and wonder. And enjoy another cheesesteak.

3/8/05 11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your favourite tv show is Manimal?
I don't think you're missing anything by not reading either Dickens or Dostoevsky, and none of the other things shocked me, but Manimal? That totally jarred me.

3/8/05 1:40 PM  
Blogger Roger Owen Green said...

Square Pegs? That was a GREAT show! You don't need to apologize for that! In fact, I was reading an old (last fall) EW and they were clamoring for a Square Pegs DVD.

3/8/05 1:57 PM  
Blogger Matthew said...

Wow, you really opened up there.

3/8/05 2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cheated on my Japanese test and got caught. I was so scared that cried in front of all the other students. I was a freshman at Central high school

3/8/05 3:08 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

I love Philly cheesesteaks! If they're not from Philly, they just aren't cheesesteaks. I still don't like the Replacements.

Krys continually mocks me for my love of Manimal. It's not my favorite, but I still like it. It must come out on DVD!

Roger - I'm not apologizing for liking Square Pegs, I'm just confessing my love for it. Yes, it does need to be on DVD.

Anonymous - this is why we shouldn't cheat - it's not worth it.

3/8/05 3:20 PM  
Blogger Nik said...

I still mock your music taste like a cad, but you must read "Fargo Rock CIty" by Chuck Klosterman, you can find it in paperback pretty cheap - I think you'll really dig it with your zen for the hair metal.

I too loved "Manimal," although I haven't seen it in (!!!) the 20 years or so since it aired so those memories might well be gossamer... I'd rent a DVD, although I'd be afraid of the shame if I bought one.

Yes, our county fair gets Tesla, Ted Nugent, and two country acts this year. We are the cutting edge of modern culture, I tell you. Gah. Must go to tip a few cows.

3/8/05 4:32 PM  
Blogger N said...

You MUST see Seven Samurai by Kurosawa. Seriously. Best movie ever.

3/8/05 4:34 PM  
Blogger fdfs said...

I find myself fairly surprised that your tastes are so lowbrow. you're such a good writer. Well, I guess that just shows your mind is original!

You, uh... you do read some books, though, right? Right?

3/8/05 9:48 PM  
Blogger roya parsay said...


3/8/05 10:07 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Nick - you wound me, sir! My tastes are eclectic! These are just some of the things that I like. I read all the time, but I have skipped some of the classics. I like modern classics better - DeLillo is my favorite author, and I love Calvino and Eco. That's not to say I haven't read the classics - I also really like the Brontes and Austen - just that I've skipped some. Remember: not lowbrow, eclectic!

Welcome, Roya Parsay. I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific. The rest of what story?

4/8/05 7:07 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Keanu Reeves? Good God, man.

4/8/05 12:42 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Keanu is AWESOME!

4/8/05 1:12 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

I don't even know what Manimal is and I think I am around your age, Greg.

Btw, are you raising the blog standards with footnotes Greg? Are we going to have start using them in our own blogs?

4/8/05 1:32 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Go read about Manimal, Thomas. It aired in 1983 for a few months. One of the funniest things I've ever seen is when Brandon Tartikoff died (that's not the funny part) and NBC did a retrospective on him and showed him walking down the street in New York telling random strangers to watch Manimal. He seemed like a cool guy.

About the footnotes - that's me, always pushing the envelope! I love footnotes.

4/8/05 3:59 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

You don't like All in The Family?!! The rest of the list I can forgive, but no love for Archie Bunker?! Sweet Jesus on a stick, man...

4/8/05 4:33 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Sorry, Jim. I just never thought it was funny. I did try to watch it, though.

4/8/05 8:20 PM  
Blogger Jim Roeg said...

Hey, Greg. Enjoyed the confession (best way to get to know someone is through their ecclectic tastes, I say). Perhaps I'll work up the courage to put together one of my own one day too. In the meantime, I wanted to say that it's nice to have one's own impeccable tastes confirmed! You like Michael Slade's horror novels? Right on! (Yep, I checked your profile; Headhunter and Evil Eye are my favorites, and though the series hasn't sustained its intensity, I still enjoy it--and it's Canuck to boot!) Also wanted to mention (tho this isn't the place for it) that I loved your piece on decompression over at Comics Should Be Good as well as the follow up. Really excellent. Don't sweat the heat it generated; writers working in a serial format do need to respect the fact that each issue must be satisfying in and of itself (even if not conclusive) if they don't want everyone to just wait for the trade. Finally: the footnotes? Nice.

5/8/05 10:15 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

Jim: I read Headhunter back in '84 or '85 in hardcover, and became a fan. Yeah, the earlier ones are better (Headhunter itself is brilliant), but they're still pretty good.

I don't sweat the heat - I like to stir things up. I just thought people were misunderstanding me - I don't really favor one form over the other, I just thought I'd point out the differences between them.

5/8/05 11:13 AM  

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