More people who really better hope I never become dictator

I mentioned last week that one of the kids at Mia's school is named Anakin. In the same pre-school class there is also a Takoda (I assume that's how it's spelled, but I can't be sure) and just the other day a new kid joined: Dakota (again, I hope that's how it's spelled). When did "Dakota" become the chic state name to call your child? Why not Minnesota? Or Delaware? Anyway, in Mia's pre-school: Anakin, Takoda, and Dakota. Arrrggggghhhh!

But those people may escape my wrath when I become dictator. After all, the kids have suffered enough punishment with those names, so why punish the parents? However, in yesterday's newspaper, this story made me want to march on Washington and seize power right now, just so I can throw these people in the concentration camps. Go on and read it and see if you don't agree with me.

There's so much in that story that makes me want to scream I don't know where to start. This 16-year-old has two cars, her parents paid $50,000 to rent a house for her 16th birthday party (which was broadcast on MTV's horror show, My Super Sweet 16, which will make your head explode if you watch more than three minutes of it - I push the envelope and watch two-and-a-half!), her party dress cost $5,000, her second car is "for the weekends" - it just goes on and on. You can visit her web site, too - but be warned: when you go there, her crappy demo song plays. Your ears may bleed.

It's not that I loathe Marissa for all this - she is caught up in this culture that claims you're only worth something if you're on television - but I do blame the parents, who know that she's spoiled, but they hope, as her mom says, that it's a "grounded spoiled." How the hell can it be? She hasn't earned any of this. Sure, she's been acting since she was seven, but there's a big difference between playing Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz for the Scottsdale Community Theater and actually having talent. Hell, I played Mayor George Shinn in our high school's production of The Music Man ("like a new Pacino" said our local newspaper), but you don't see me demanding that my parents fly me to Hollywood for auditions.

It's easy to blame the kids in this situation, and I certainly blame Marissa for her horrible singing (seriously - go check out her web site!) and the fact that, according to the episode guide for her 16th birthday party on MTV.com, some of the "non-popular" kids at her school were so desperate to be invited to her AdoreMarissa-a-thon that they had a "dance-off" to impress her and "earn" their way in. WTF? But, as usual, it's parents trying to buy their kids' love that's the real issue. I really hope I can resist, especially because the issue seems to be with daughters - I guess all sons desire are esoteric things like beating up nerds and scoring with skanky girls, so you can't really buy their love. I'd like to say it's not going to be a problem, but we'll see. I certainly won't be able to spend $150,000 on their 16th birthday parties, because I don't have that kind of money. Phew!

My nemesis, T., has some good thoughts on this, too. Yes, I'm agreeing with T. That strange sight you see out your window is blood falling from the sky and monkeys flying out of somebody's butt. However, T. didn't find the excellent story of Marissa. I think his head might have exploded if he did.

When I'm dictator, this kind of thing won't be happening, you can believe it. Marissa's parents will be thrown in the camps and dear sweet Marissa will have to get a job at Wendy's just like everyone else her age.