When I'm dictator, Entertainment and Sports Programming Networks will have to shape up!

First, a reason to pay your bills online: a few minutes ago I was paying our electric bill (over 300 dollars - thank you, Arizona summer!). So I put the receipt in the envelope and sealed it. Then I looked over at the check, you know, with the actual payment, still lying on the kitchen counter. A quick re-opening before my saliva bonded completely with the gum and some Scotch tape solved the problem, but it does make a strong case for doing this online. I'm too old-fashioned for that, however.

Meanwhile, dictatoring never gets any easier, especially when I have to keep a long list of people who better hope I never become one. Gordon smartly knows how to suck up, and he will be remembered by the future regime, but others just don't get it. A certain sports network better get its act in gear, because they're on the list!

This morning I was watching Cold Pizza, as I have mentioned before is my morning viewing, and they were talking to a reporter from Arizona's own East Valley Tribune about the signing of Matt Leinart, who was the last first-round draft pick without a contract before finally getting a deal done last night. They asked him about the effect Leinart's hold-out will have on his status and development. Fine and dandy. However, the graphic on the screen read "Affect the hold out will have on Leinart," to paraphrase a bit. The thing I am not paraphrasing is the first word: Affect. Affect. Affect!!!!

Jesus H., if the editors at ESPN can't get easy shit like that right, then they all better look out when I rule the world. The camps will not be kind to people without a basic grasp of English!¹

¹ Yes, I know I may be a bit harsh here. But this is ridiculous. There are rules in English, you know, and although all language is fluid and changes, to blatantly flout those rules through ignorance is egregious. I shan't have it!