Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Name:
Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!

28.12.04

Where the Iraqi Things Are

With many apologies to Maurice Sendak:

The night Rummy wore his ugly gray suit and made mischief of many kinds and another, his president called him "WILD THING!" and Rummy said "I'LL GET CHENEY!" so he was sent to bed without getting Cheney.

That very night in Rummy's room a desert grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with palms and the walls became the world all around and some airspace tumbled by with a private, taxpayer-funded airplane for Rummy and he flew off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the Iraqi things are.

And when he came to the place where the Iraqi things are they roared their terrible fatwas and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible American-supplied guns till Rummy said "BE STILL!" and tamed them with the magic trick of promising them free elections and economic security and they were frightened and called him the most Iraqi thing of all and made him king of all the Iraqi things.

"And now," cried Rummy, "let the wild insurrection start!"

"Now stop!" Rummy said. "Uh, guys, you can stop now ..." and he tried to send the Iraqi things off to bed without their supper. And Rummy the king of all the Iraqi things was lonely and wanted to be where someone would accept that you go to war with the army you have.

Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the Iraqi things are.

But the Iraqi things cried, "Oh please don't go -- we'll shoot you up -- we love you so!" And Rummy said, "No!"

The Iraqi things roared their terrible fatwas and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible American-supplied guns but Max stepped into his private taxpayer-funded airplane and waved goodbye and flew back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day and into the night of his very own room where he found his Presidential Medal of Freedom waiting for him and it was still shiny.