Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!


... But wait, there's more!

As my faithful readers (I think I may have 10 by now!) know, I am a stay-at-home dad. This means I, well, stay at home. Now, you might think that with two small children, I might not have time to waste. You might think that, but you would be wrong. It's all about neglecting the children here at Casa de Burgas in Mesa! Actually, while Mia is at school, I have some free time, and because our television is in the same room where Norah hangs out (fancy that!), I watch more daytime TV than is probably healthy. That's not to say I watch soap operas - usually ESPN is on, often as background noise, and of course, if I can watch, Magnum, P.I. is on at 10 a.m.!

I have been noticing the commercials, though. Here are some fine products and services that get advertised in the morning.

The Cyclone Rake. You know this is awesome. You know you want it!

After you finish in the yard, you'll probably want to trim that unsightly haircut. But who has time to go to the salon? Just pick up Just a Trim and you can clear away those in-between-haircuts hair that sprouts at such inopportune times!

Relacore - the amazing weight loss pill!

Leptopril - in case the Relacore doesn't work, it's another weight loss pill! Or hey - take them both at the same time!

Have you been injured in an accident? Of course you have! Why else would you be sitting on your ass in the middle of the day watching Magnum, P.I.? So call the lawyers at the Injury Helpline!

If you're sitting on your ass in the middle of the day watching Magnum, P.I. (or, even worse, what comes on before it ... Matlock!), not only are you probably injured, but your credit probably sucks! Go to Care One Credit and get your life back together!

Exactly what kind of people do they think are at home in the middle of the day? You be the judge!


Blogger Roger Owen Green said...

Staying at home watching TV during the day actually rots your mind unless you watch specific shows (or pre-recorded stuff, which is what I do on those rare occasions now.) Magnum's OK, because it's planned watching, but be careful out there. We need your cogent comments.

10/11/05 8:14 AM  
Blogger Woody! said...

Apparently, overweight unemployed lawn-care technicians who have been hurt in an accident make up most of the viewing audience. Is that you?

Good job neglecting the kids!

10/11/05 1:47 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Ah, Woody, you pegged me dead on. I'm old, too - a lot of commercials are for those scooter things and oxygen services and diabetes medicine that Wilford Brimley tells me I need, but none of those have web sites. Apparently old people can't handle this new-fangled technology!

10/11/05 2:10 PM  
Blogger Astrid said...

I think that the one person who invents the perfect weight loss pill will be richer than Richie Rich!

12/11/05 12:54 PM  

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