Delenda Est Carthago

Why not delve into a twisted mind? Thoughts on the world, history, politics, entertainment, comics, and why all shall call me master!

Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

I plan on being the supreme dictator of the country, if not the world. Therefore, you might want to stay on my good side. Just a hint: ABBA rules!



It's Sunday, and that means more links than you can handle! Get ready to waste some time!

First, sign my GuestMap if you're so inclined. The latest co-conspirators (you all know this is just a list of people who are going to help me take over eventually, right?) are Nat Pike, whose CD I'm eagerly awaiting, and Chris Cope, who lives in that "other city" in Minnesota (the one across the river from the "real" one). I'm kidding, Chris - St. Paul RULES! (Okay, I've never been to Minnesota. Sue me.)

I decided to do some different things this week, so my link list might be even LONGER than usual. Can you deal with it???? I think you can!

Funny stuff. We all needs the laughs!

Merlin's latest list is "Five Fake Urban Myths" that he wants us all to share. Aren't all urban myths fake?

Latigo Flint doesn't trust yogurt.

Table etiquette for men. Essential!

Tom Peyer shows you all the stuff on the Internet about The Price Is Right. Seriously.

More Ann Coulter horror, from the person who brought you this (remember this?). Not for the faint of heart or the easily offended, but really freakin' funny. I'm serious. Totally offensive. Completely.

Drink at Work links to I gave my cat an enema. It's not as unpleasant as it sounds, but it's still funny.

700-year-old jokes. Okay, they're not THAT funny, but they're 700 years old! This link comes from Respectful Insolence. In the same post he links to this article, which says that in the future, everyone will be compared to Hitler.

Chris Cope links to "tips" for dating. They're kind of self-evident, but still very wise.

President Bush mangles the language once again. Okay, it's not funny - we should have more reverence for the president. But when he defines the word he misuses - that's good stuff. This comes from Upon Further Review.

Bush and the dead pope. Funny stuff linked to by the Disgruntled Chemist.

Have you ever wondered what a zombie is thinking? Wonder no more! This is just hilarious. Start at the beginning, because it's not that long. I don't know how long "Zombie Tom" can keep this up, but still, it's totally fun.

Comic book junk. It's like candy!

My pal Father Rasputin sent me this link: The best and worst Batman villains. Geeks only!

Excellent quotes from: olde-timey comic books and this week's comics! (DC only.)

Harvey Jerkwater goes days without posting, then throws up three excellent ones three days running! It's Ambush Bug punches continuity in the nuts, Silver St. Cloud uses common sense, and Captain America as Jesus. Phew!

Fred Hembeck is too snooty to allow comments on his blog, so I can't tell him how nice it was that he linked to me. Just go read his stuff - it's fun! Especially when he rants about baseball. And his daughter's taste in music.

Tim gives us two things that might signal the death knell of Marvel Comics as we know it! Insert your appropriate "death-knell" music.

How to make a fantastic comic book movie. Very interesting reading. This comes from Trusty Sidekicks.

The state of the comic book industry discussed here (part one) and here (part two).

It's the real Daily Bugle (you know, the newspaper Peter Parker used to work for). This comes from Baboon Bellows.

Ian shows us the first page of his comic book. Not for the weak-kneed!

Neil Kleid explains what Nazis are. Okay, comic book Nazis, but still.

Awesome comic panels from the 1950s, back before we had such stupid terms like "sexual harassment."

A biblical comic book with the dinosaurs and evil angels trying to stop Noah's Ark! You know I wouldn't kid about that. You know you want to check out some of the pages!

More nepotism. Because if I don't do it, who will?

Krys is trying to keep up her posting regularly. Go over there and pump up her self-esteem!

It's always fun to check in with my daughter. She's working hard and getting annoyed about it!

Guess what? Another cousin has a web site. Check it out! It's much more complicated than mine, because I am, after all, the dunce of the family. His new wife, whom I've never met, also has a web site.

Political garbage. Who will tell you what to think if not me?

Okay, so the big news last week was the Deep Throat thing. Who cares, right? Well, a lot of people, apparently. You've all read about it, so I'll just link to a few things about Mark Felt that you may have missed.

Ben Stein really hates Mark Felt. The first link is from Ace of Spades (I don't like his politics, but occasionally he says some good things) and the second is from Balloon Juice. I love Ben Stein, but it's like asking me what I think of my best friend going to jail for killing babies. Of course I'd defend him, he's my best friend! What do I care about dead babies???

Gosh, Pat Buchanan also hates Mark Felt. So shocking! This comes from the Rude Pundit.

Finally, The Democratic Underground links to an interview with Lawrence Eagleburger on Crossfire during which Eagleburger is a little surprised that Mark Felt wasn't killed for being Deep Throat. No one on Crossfire even blinked. Holy shit, is that what we've come to?

The other story that hit the political blogosphere this week was the fact that a bunch of conservatives have compiled a list of "harmful" books. Now, we can debate whether any books are actually harmful. I don't think it's possible. But it's funny that all the book, beside Hitler's little tome, are "liberal." Really? How shocking. The Disgruntled Chemist first brought this to my attention, but others have ranted about it. First, we get a parody: the most harmful TV shows, which comes from Welcome to the Sideshow. Lance has a good response to the list. He also links to this funny response to the list.

Here's a description of a real Cuban gulag. I just stuck this in here to answer all those right-wingers who hate Amnesty International because they called Guantanamo Bay a "gulag." Guess what? They didn't! However, it allows right-wingers to ignore the real issue. Cheney (or was it Rumsfeld?) came out this week and said that only 100 cases of abuse could be proven, which ain't bad. It's like slavery: it doesn't matter how well you treat the slaves, they're still slaves! It doesn't matter that there are only 100 cases of abuse - we're supposed to be better than this. Cheney (or Rumsfeld) should come out and say - "We investigated this and found 100 cases of abuse, and that's too much. We have zero tolerance for this because we're America." Hey, right-wingers? How many abused non-prisoners (they still haven't been charged with anything) is too many? Just wondering.

Catholics for Rick Santorum has a bizarre post about their hero. It's a long post, and I would imagine most people who read this blog don't know Santorum or think he's crazy, but I draw your attention to what happened with his child, which is outlined at the beginning of the post. I feel bad for Mr. Santorum, but what he and his wife did is disturbing, to say the least. Am I wrong in thinking that?

Dave gives us a scary political possibility for 2008. Well, scary if you don't like what's happening politically in our country. If you do, this is the dream team.

Read about the American Indian Movement and the siege of Wounded Knee in 1973. Fascinating reading about a little-known part of American history. The link comes from Counter Punch.

Fox News brings us Wrong wars in U.S. History. Yes, you read that right. Fox News! This comes from Strike the Root.

The war on nipples! Ah, you thought they were functional parts of a woman's body. You fool! They are obviously things that men cannot stop looking at and it turns them into crazed sex maniacs! This was brought to my attention by Echidne of the Snakes.

In case you needed more information here's another reason why Wal-Mart is bad for America. In related Wal-Mart news, here in Arizona, taxpayers pay at least $2 million to provide health care for Wal-Mart employees and their families. Two things: Wal-Mart doesn't provide enough health insurance to their employees, and Arizonans are not allowed to know the actual cost, because the state claims it needs to be kept confidential. Chew on that for a bit.

Thank God we caught this dangerous terrorist. This comes from Heretical Ideas.

Erinberry checks out the programming on PBS. Damned liberals, indoctrinating our children!

Southern Baptists are once again calling to remove their kids from public schools. Kung Fu Monkey also links to the blog that links to the actual article. You can also go to the web site devoted to getting the kids out of our heathen schools, where they're probably watching that commie PBS!

Massachusetts lawmakers override the governor's stem-cell veto. I happen to agree with this veto, but isn't this the way our republic is supposed to work? The legislature sends a bill to the governor, he vetoes it, and if they can, they override it. It's worked for 200 years. Why doesn't our president like our system of government?

Miscellaneous. Because it's the miscellany that makes the world go 'round!

I mentioned that I bought The New Annotated Sherlock Holmes a few weeks ago. I'm reading it when I want a change of pace, so it's going slowly (and yes, N, it is awesome - I highly recommend it). One of the notes dealt with "the World's Worst Poet," William McGonagall. You can read about him at these web sites. The last two have examples of his awful poetry on the page, and the last one has bagpipe music playing while you read! It's even worse than my poetry!

Speaking of poetry, Astrid has written a poem with her refrigerator magnets. It rules.

Here in town, the Fort McDowell Yavapai Nation is fining families when their kids miss schools. That is so cool I almost can't believe it works. They say it couldn't work in most districts. Why the hell not?

Study shows how to teach kids to eat better diets. Okay, that's all well and good, but I still don't understand when these parents stopped buying food for their kids. You're in charge, people! Sheesh.

Shaquille O'Neal and the Miami Heat pick up the tab for George Mikan's funeral. I have never liked O'Neal as a player, but he's always been a nice guy. This is a very cool move. If you don't know who George Mikan is, shame on you (well, if you're a guy in America - anyone else, that's fine). Here's a short biography of him. What a geeky-looking dude!

Freakonomics links to this, which shows you when baby names are the most popular. It's really cool.

Was Laura Bush once a hot piece of ass?

What was in the newspapers in Portland, OR, on Wednesday, 25 September 1974? Fun stuff, that's what!

The life cycle of a blogger. Funny stuff. I think I'm only up to step 3, so I'm okay so far. This comes from Various and Sundry.

Have you ever wondered what some of the Wiggles were doing before they conquered Australia and the Disney Channel and your children's hearts? Wonder no more! (If you don't have children and don't know who the Wiggles are, consider yourself lucky. Or go here to find out all you want to know.)

More cool photos from Rick Lee.

There's more creepy stuff up at PostSecret. It gets updated every Sunday. I hope it's real, because it's neat (and disturbing, sure).

Colonel Klink's superior, General Burkhalter, has died.

Dave's Long Box, a comic book site you should visit, took time out on Memorial Day to link to a complete list of all the Medal of Honor citations. Excellent stuff.

Go to work blogging for a corporation! This is also from Ace of Spades.

Balloon Juice shows us the way to Oregon making a lot of money from medical marijuana and a story about an anti-gay phone company!

The bouncer likes fake lesbians.

Find out the number one song from the day you were born. Via Drink at Work, which also brings us this very funny news story. Read the story and take the quiz afterward!

I like this picture of a bar in Ketchican, Alaska. Check out the sign.

The Burden of Bearing a Massive Penis. Yes, you read that correctly. No, it's not icky. It's all about the science! (But be warned - fish penis photos included!)

Roxy is proud of this post, and she should be. Another warning: weird stuff with pink panties. Words fail me.

Echopraxia brings us a link to Why you don't need a blog. It's a bit snarky, and also ironic that he chose to write it on a blog post, but it's still funny; plus unorthodox euphemisms. This one: "pachinko!"

A new blog I was referred to, the Education Wonks, gives us a story about ex-prostitutes not being allowed to teach in Oregon. How sad! From the same site we get a link to a a place for kids to brag about their school pranks. I'm still not sure about the Education Wonks - they seem a bit militant in their approach, but they have some good stuff.

The carnival of bad history. Lots of essays about things in history people get wrong. I've only read a few, but they're pretty interesting.

A corrections officer videotapes his family in the bathroom. Say it with me: Eeewwww!

A restaurant in Taiwan serves food in toilet bowls. Let's repeat:Eeewwwww!

Since Allison hasn't updated her blog in, like, forever, we need to find another random teenage girl blogging about her life. Luckily, Ohmigod! Roxy has found one! Check her out here! Like, awesome!

Man, that's a lot of stuff. Enjoy!

(Nik and Layne, I haven't mailed your stuff out yet. Sorry! They should be on the way tomorrow!)


Blogger Zombie_Tom said...

Thanks for the link! Damn, that's a lot of links. I had to take a brain break twice.

5/6/05 2:37 PM  
Blogger Gordon said...

Books actually are harmful...if you throw them hard enough.

Once, when I was a kid, I put a classmate in the hospital with a softcover Hardy Boys edition.

5/6/05 3:27 PM  
Blogger Roxy said...

Sadly, the most troubling links were the toilet bowl restaurant site and the Catholics for Rick Santorum. Both make me think of crap...

5/6/05 3:55 PM  
Blogger N said...

Great stuff as always. check out the list of conservative "scholars" picked to choose the "harmful" books. almost all teach at unknown colleges; none of them is famous within an academic field. good times.

5/6/05 5:09 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

I am Catholic like Rick Santorum. Yet what he did with his deceased child creeped me out. And that he showed the child's body to his other kids (who are presumably pretty young too) was even worse.

I can imagine we will be hearing from those Santorum kids in 20 years holed up in some shack with a lot of weapons somewhere.

5/6/05 8:52 PM  
Blogger Astrid said...

I laughed so much, my cheeks hurt, umz .. do you sell medication up here too or only injuries?

6/6/05 2:15 PM  
Blogger Astrid said...

No, I say two thumbs up and my left toe for your Link-a-thon-o-matic!!!!

6/6/05 2:16 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Thank you, Astrid. I hope you weren't hurt too much.

I wish we could throw big books at those "scholars" ...

6/6/05 2:58 PM  
Anonymous Layne said...

Even Santorum couldn't deny that DEC Link-A-Paloozas are a great way to spend your Sunday!

Thanks again!

6/6/05 5:11 PM  

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